子ども、そんなに少なくない？ 総務省が4日発表した「日本の子どもの数が過去最低を更新した」との報告書に、各方面から異論が噴出している。
「減った実感がない。数え間違いではないか」
というのだ。
都内練馬区に住む小学生の久美子ちゃん（10）。戸籍上はひとりっ子だが「うちにはもうひとり、子どもがいる。偉い人は数え忘れていると思う」と言う。久美子ちゃんが、もうひとりの子の存在を知ったのは数カ月前の深夜。水を飲もうと起きたついでに父母の寝室を覗いたときのことだった。
「ふだんは厳しいパパだけど、ベッドの上ではまったくの子どもだったわ…」
遠い目をする久美子ちゃん。総務省には5日までに同様の指摘が殺到しており、数千件にのぼる勢いだという。同省は「確かに数え忘れていた。かなりの誤差になるかも…」と頭を抱える。
問題が起きているのはベッドの上ばかりではない。国会の中では
- 与野党勢力がねじれるとまともに政権運営ができない子ども
- 祖父・親の七光でトップになるだけでまともな政策ひとつ打ち出せない子ども
などが多数おり、統計から漏れているという。他にも「匿名掲示板でウサを晴らすだけがとりえの子ども」のほか、「毎日blogに下ネタばかり書く子ども」もおり、合わせると「子どもの数は1億人を超えるのではないか」との指摘もある。少子化を議論するうえでもっとも重要な数字でこのていたらく。総務省には猛省をうながしたいところだ。
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
＞政権運営ができない
＞祖父・親の七光でトップになるだけでまともな政策ひとつ打ち出せない
こういうのは子どもって言うんじゃなくて「死に損ない」とか「早く死んで欲しい」とか「アパ壷三」って言うんですよ。
病院で床に転がって駄々をこねる暴走老人(子供)がいるのは本当ですか？
一方、生まれてから20年以上経つのに、いまだに未就学児であるかの様に振る舞う、フグ田タラオ(62)のような存在も確認されており、一説によると千人を超えるとの話もある。総務省の発表より実際は少ないのではないかとの声もあり、確認が急がれる。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞与野党がねじれるとまともに政権運営ができないこども
＞祖父・親の七光でトップになるだけでまともな政策ひとつ打ち出せないこども
このほかにも、
・自分の思うようにならないと衆議院を解散したり、都合が悪くなると詭弁をふりまわし、総理大臣を退いたら自分のやったことに関しては知らぬ存ぜぬのこども
・本心から国を憂いているのではなく、あくまで選挙目的で憂国者のポーズをとっているこども
・上記の関連で、ある映画の上映にさんざんケチをつけた挙句に、いざおおごとになると自分のことは棚に上げてあれこれいうこども
・新聞や週刊誌で自分の会社に都合が悪いことが書かれると、広告を引き上げて圧力を
掛けるこども
・ろくに職場の実態も見ていないのに、「過労死は自己責任」というこども
・毎年１月１日には日本に戸籍がなく、住民税を支払っていないこども
・自分より立場が弱い人間には威張りくさるが、自分に都合の悪いことになると詭弁を振り回す新宿某所にいるこども
・プロ野球で自分の思うようにならないと「貧乏球団は潰して１リーグ制にするぞ！」というこども
・「オシムっていっちゃったね。」と自分の失敗をわざとらしい失言で乗り切ろうとしたこども
など信じられないほどたくさんのこどもがおりますな。っていうか、単に年をとって知能が退行しているだけなのか。（苦笑）
＞匿名掲示板でウサを晴らすだけがとりえのこども
同じようなことを雑誌や新聞でやっているこどもも多数いますが。
＞情報通さま
いつまでたっても「はーい！」「ちゃーん！」くらいしかボキャブラリーがない波野イクラ（年齢不詳）のようなケースもありますぞ。
大人を超える子供もいますね。
「そして − 子連れ狼 刺客の子」の拝大五郎で姿は幼児でも中身は人の格の高さに頭が下がります…
大人は「ちゃん!」と拝大五郎を手本にしましょう。
住所：名古屋県
職業：荒らし
「匿名掲示板でウサを晴らすだけがとりえの子ども」
まあお互いに「厨房」って呼び合っていますからね。
自覚はあるのかと。
おいらには子供はいないけど、役立つ機会がない息子がいます。
この息子に役に立つ機会を与えることが、政府与党の仕事ではないでしょうか？
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
ナザレのイエスは「幼い子どものようにすなおであれ」と悩める人々に教えておられましたので、今回の記事はとても良い傾向だと思います。
5月5日だけ、偏見も差別も恨みも憎しみも忘れて、子どもに還ろうではありませんか。
住所：名古屋県
職業：ヤリチン
サイトの管理者が自分と同じ童貞だと思い込み、調子に乗ってコメント欄にて童貞的言説を垂れ流す子ども・・・も見掛けますね。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
これは人口抑制政策の失敗といってよいだろう。現日本政府の失策である。子どもの数は予定通り減っていなければいけない。
宗主国の提示した条件(人口50万人以下に削減)を守れないようでは、きたるべき宗主国への吸収合併と「ぱちんこ事業」独占権取得が危うい。
今後は、子どもに子どもを作らせないなど、徹底した処置が必要であろう。
最近では「パンダなんかいなくていい」という夢のない子供もいますな…。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
正直に言いますと、「子どもに還ろうではありませんか。」は、映画「カンフーハッスル」のラストを参考にしました。
住所：高木農園
職業：総務猫
つまり某瓦斯編集主幹は総務省関係者を装い、小学生の久美子ちゃん（10）から聞き取り調査のふりをして＊＊＊なことを聞き「ﾊｧﾊｧ」したわけですニャ？
憲兵さん、この御仁をお連れしてください。
小学生の久美子ちゃん（10）が、劣化の激しい「大場」の道ではなく、永遠の若さと美貌を保つ脅威の「秋吉」流に進まれれることを期待しております。
ふと思いついてゆーちゅーぶで「スプリングサンバ」や「ですこドリーム」見たら頭痛が激しくなりました（涙）
住所：銀河系
職業：IT士方
> 今後は、子どもに子どもを作らせないなど、徹底した処置が必要であろう。
先々帝陛下、その点に関してはご心配は無用です。
パチンコなどという賤しい大衆娯楽には無縁の陛下はご存じないでしょうが、かの遊戯に興じる若い子の間では、乳幼児を駐車場の自動車の中に置き去りにして蒸し焼きをこしらえるのがブームになっているのです。
そう、獅子の親が子を千尋の谷に突き落とすように、人間の乳幼児は50℃の密閉空間に数時間置き去りにされて選別されるのです。
地球温暖化の進行を見据えた、理にかなった間引きの方法と言えましょう。
>婆専猫 さん
「岡江」についてはどう思われますかにょ？
＞毎日blogに下ネタばかり書く子ども
馬占山先生のことかぁー！
橋下大阪府知事の公約「子どもの笑う政治」の子どもは、こういう子どもも含まれるんだな・・・奥が深い。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>乳幼児を駐車場の自動車の中に置き去りにして蒸し焼きをこしらえるのがブームになっているのです。
単に蒸し焼きにするだけでは、芸が有るまい。
どうせ殺してしまう赤ん坊なら、国軍の「白豚・黒豚・代用豚」の伝統にのっとり、防衛省に食用として納入すべきでは無いか？
住所：不定
職業：工作員
>おしむさん
端下大阪府知事自体、例の弁護士団を「みんなで懲戒請求だー」と言いつつ自分はしてなかったり、いざ自分が突っ込みいれられるとないちゃう「子ども」ですけいのう。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
なるほど。
今回の記事は「児童ポルノ法」の改悪後の“児童の定義”がどうなるかという、一種の実験的な報道なのですな。
やはり、児ポ法は廃止しなければいけませんな。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
遅くなったが、日本の大きな子ども達に、沖縄の言葉で祝詞をいただいたので、ここに紹介する。
「ふりむんわらばーたーよ、だー、めーごーさーしようねー」
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
やはり沖縄は日本ではない。
チベットと沖縄に独立を!!
住所：海外(北海道)
職業：プロ左翼市民
子供が足りないなら、輸入すれば良いのに。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
＞毎日blogに下ネタばかり書く子ども
blogより新緑の高原でねいちんに下ネタ喋らす方が愉しいにょ。
ぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱん。直腸だから。
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