福田新内閣に留任した鳩山邦夫法務大臣は25日、就任挨拶を兼ねた記者会見で
全自動死刑執行ロボ「なまはげ」
を公開した。かねてから持論だった死刑の全自動化を実現するもので、開発費用はおよそ5,000億円。
全自動死刑執行ロボは、法務相の署名が必要なことから執行の滞りが問題となっている死刑を自動的に行うべく開発された。スイッチオンで自律的な判断に基づいて捜査を開始。
「悪い子はいねがー、
空気読めない子はいねがー」
と探し回って犯罪者を発見、即座に死刑判決を下し、ロックオンしたターゲットを斧で処刑することが可能。高名な橋下徹・北村晴男両弁護士の脳を足して三で割った「空気脳」を搭載することで、捜査・逮捕・量刑・執行のすべてをオールインワンにこなす機能の高さを実現した。
法務省では、なまはげの実用化により裁判官や法務大臣が罪の意識を感じる必要がなくなるほか、国民はより多くの死刑を娯楽として楽しんで目の前の社会の矛盾を忘れ、溜飲を下げることができると見込む。基本デザインになまはげを採用したのは「恐怖と村八分で秩序を維持する日本の美しい伝統をよく表している」ため、とのこと。また、なまはげが斧を使用するのは
「斧で主人公を殺すオタク向けアニメの影響を受けた」
という。全自動死刑執行ロボは、早ければ10月から稼動を開始する。
住所：地下闘技場
職業：虎眼流師範
法務相はあの伝説の
「ゼイラム」
ニャったのか！！
おしりかじり虫の主幹さんがきっとイリア（森山祐子）を思い出して涙するネタをだしてみましたニャ。
えーーーー！ﾏｽｿﾞｴ留任？？？は！めんどいことは押し付けてなんかあったらさっとゼイラムが・・・
ニャンマンダブ
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
待て。
一部で囁かれている、全自動死刑執行ロボの「中の人」は、山口県光市在住の本村某(職業:死刑フェチ)では無いか、と言う疑惑について、何も述べられていないのは、如何なる訳か？
住所：名古屋県
職業：自室警備員
ここだけの話ですが、１億円の裏金で３日間「中の人」になれます。
もちろん、領収書は出せません。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
ティムコや栗ちゃんカツ礼してねえやつはいねが～～？
てっきりノートに名前を書くと、その人が死んじゃうっていうシステムを作っているのかと思っていたが…
やっぱり同姓同名問題を解決できなかったのか…
職業：まんがか？
かなりむかしにあったよーなー
とーいきおくーのかーなーたー
市役所の戸籍課から24時間後になまはげが来訪する通知を受け取ったら勝ち組。
住所：二次元
職業：櫻井よしこ
今回毒塗れでキッツー。
なお、更なる利点として、法定刑に死刑が無い場合、手続に正当性が無い場合にも死刑を執行できる。判決文や条文、判例を読まずに空気だけ読む機能の為である。
この点に附き、開発者は「当該弁護士が、法的手続をするに当たって条文を読まずに空気だけ読む様に指導していたのに目をつけた。山本七平博士が設計図を既に書いてあったが、実用化は難しかった。しかし今回、弁護士の身でありながら、刑事弁護人そのものを攻撃する人々の先頭に立って空気に乗りまた盛上げて居り、その身を切った空気の読み方を見て実用化の目処が立った。」と語った。
職業：ヘブンズコメンター
はい、どーでしたかー？
凄いですねー、サスペンスですねー、バイオレンスですねー
見るも恐ろしい◯◯ハゲが登場
それで次々殺していくんですねー
こんなのが目の前にいたら
まーこわい！こわい！こわい！
この後も次々と色んな◯◯ハゲが登場してきますねー、怖いですねー
ハイ、私はもう死んでるんですけどねー
まあ、みんなそのうち死にますけどねー
ハイ、時間になってしまいました
それでは、さいなら、さいなら、さいなら
>橋下徹・北村晴男両弁護士の脳を足して三で割った「空気脳」
ちょ、ちょっと待ってください!
お二人とも空気読みに特化した脳の持ち主で、特に橋本氏などは法律より空気！という模範弁護士なのは記事の通りですが。
ぶっちゃけ判断能力に関しては、二人分足してもロボの行動制御に足りるのか不安です。
まして足して３で割ったら行動不能ですよ。
これの設計やったのは先日まで首相だった数の数えられない人ですか？
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
ついでに、東日本では「なまはげ」でも結構だが、全自動死刑執行ロボの西日本向け版として、「都井睦雄」を製作する案を具申する。
なお、「都井睦雄」の「中の人」は、津山市出身である事にちなんで、オダギリジョーなどは、いかがであろうか？
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
悪い子って突然仕事辞めて友達を代役にして議員辞職しない子のこと？
http://bogusne.ws/article/57045426.html
職業：櫻井よしこ
橋下徹弁：
私は法律書を買ったら、すぐに箱だけ残して本は捨てる。
1000ページにもわたる空気を読み行動する事こそ、弁護士の仕事だ。
厚い法律書など持っていたら、本と同様自分が抱えている事件が重い物だとの錯覚を生む。
代わりにスカスカの空気なら何でも軽々しく行動出来る。
空気弁護士たるもの、重い本を参考にしていては空気を読むいい仕事が出来ない。
住所：地下闘技場
職業：虎眼流師範
秋田方面から電波を受信しましたニャ。
「何どごふざけたことどご。なまはげ様はわらしの味方。人々にわざと恐怖どご与えながら、そっちゃある社会の秩序どごきちんと守らせようとしゃべるありがたい方だス。ほんたらありがたいお名めどご全自動死刑執行ロボなどがとしゃべる残忍きわまりねロボットにつけるとは失敬な。さてはおめさん、津軽とか福島、茨城北部あたりの訛りのきっつい田舎者だな？」
とのことですニャ。最初受信した電波は音声で再生されたので、解読に時間がかかりましたニャ。
>ロックオンしたターゲットを斧で処刑
斧じゃなくて包丁だよと突っ込もうと思ったら
>「斧で主人公を殺すオタク向けアニメの影響を受けた」
鳩山法相が故ローゼン閣下の影響受けたんじゃないのか？
住所：不定
職業：オメガブロガー
自動巡回警察ロボット「餓鬼刑事」も稼動予定。「八丈島へキョンっ！」「死刑っ」など即決即断。裁判所・弁護士・及び八丈島島民から猛抗議も。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
>即決即断
臨・兵・闘・者・皆・ちん・列・在・全、
七年殺し～～！！
秋田つながりで畠山鈴香被告の卒業文集に素敵なメッセージを添えてくれた元クラスメートのみんなの脳もロボの空気脳にまぜてあげてください…。
8月27日 「凶悪犯罪の未然防止に果たす役割は大きい！死刑制度をなくせという意見にわたしはくみしない！」
「死刑を科すと裁判所が判断すれば、わたしは重んじる！」と語り、状況に応じて死刑執行命令書に署名する考えを示した。
9月25日 「しかし誰も死刑執行の署名をしたいとは思わず、法相に責任をおっかぶせる形ではない方法がないかと思う」
「法相が絡まなくても、自動的に客観的に進むような方法を考えてはどうか」
このザマ………。
法相というおのれの立場をいまさらながら実感したようです………。
住所：病院隔離中
＞空気読めない子はいねがー
やめて！ やめて！ 松岡さんと同じところにはまだ行くたくない！
ちょっと！ なんで斧じゃなくてロープ持ってるの？ 自殺に見せかけるつもり？ い、嫌だ！ ギャーーーーー！！
住所：ヤクーツク
職業：馬賊
『機動刑事ジバン』を思い出しました！
>斧じゃなくてロープ
ナマハゲ本来の包丁のままでも充分でしょ。
「切腹にみせかける」という手法も総理はよくご存知なんじゃ・・。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>総理はよくご存知なんじゃ・・。
「子連れ狼」の阿部怪異の最後並に見苦しくも面白可笑しい引き際を見せてくれた御仁は、既に、「総理」では無いと愚考するが…
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
> 斧で主人公を殺すオタク向けアニメ
「刃こぼれするので、実際にはありえない」などの理由で、地上波放送局が放送を見送ったこの番組であるが、成人向け有料衛星教養放送局「ちゃんねるCCさくら」で放送されることが決定した。
れっつ、くびちょんぱ。
こんな先行者型ロボット
の開発なんかまだ続けてたのか。
遅れてるなぁ。
スカイネットまだー？
住所：名古屋県
なまはげなんてのは所詮儀式。
ここは一つ、実績を誇る愛知の殺人ロボ軍団「時津風部屋」に任せてちょー。
美しい日本の、陰湿な伝統も受け継いどるし、申し分ないでよー。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
リア様かかでなれおん様のチ・ブ～サに挟まれて窒息死刑なら、男性受刑者は誰も反対せんぢゃろう。
なまはげロボなんて、無駄なものを開発しやがって。
こまわりくん に 頼めば済むのに。
「あなたも死刑員！」(^^v
少々旧聞に属するが、自由民主党福田内閣の鳩山邦夫法務大臣は、下記のような戯（た
住所：銀河系
職業：ニート
恐ろしいです
シャネル バッグ 新作
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