クッキンアイドルとして多くの国民に親しまれているまいんちゃんが、あわや正体不明の毒薬を飲まされそうになる事件が、9日都内で発生した。警視庁は自称「少年探偵」の男を逮捕。「国の宝の幼女を…よくも…」と厳しい態度でさらに取り調べを進めている。
捕まったのは都内在住・年齢不詳の江戸川コナン容疑者。調べによればコナン容疑者は9日、渋谷区のNHKスタジオで番組収録の待機中だったまいんちゃんに忍び寄り、怪しげな薬物をムリヤリ飲ませようと襲いかかった疑い。たまたま通りかかった探偵の毛利小五郎さんが偶然これを見かけ、愛用のシグザウアーP228を突き付けながら
「武器を捨てて両手を頭の後ろへ組みひざまずけぇ！」
と叫んだためことなきを得た。
その後、黙秘を決め込むコナン容疑者の四肢を毛利氏が銃で打ち抜いたところ
「謎の組織から手に入れた“からだの小さくなるくすり”を飲ませようと思った」
と犯行を認めた。動機については
「日に日に成長していくまいんちゃんを見るのが耐えられなかった。くすりを飲ませて永遠の幼女にしたかった」
と語っているという。
おのれの欲望を満たすため、まいんちゃんにあやしい薬を飲ませようとした犯行は残虐なもので極刑に処すべきと言わざるを得まい。いっぽう、我らの天使まいんちゃんは「こわい人が捕まってよかった」と涙ぐむいっぽう、
「きのうお母さんに“おまえも年ごろの女の子になったんだよ”と言われて、きょうはみんなでお赤飯を食べることになっていたの。こんどの放送ではみんなでお赤飯をつくろうね！」
と、けなげに微笑んでいた。
旬ですな。
例の薬はハイティーンや二十歳前後が小学生になる為、まいんちゃんには劇薬で効きすぎ、乳幼児にまで戻ってしまうのでは…？
本当に残虐な行為でしたね…。
阻止されて番組が終わらずに済み、良かったですね！
住所：ごらんあれが竜飛岬
職業：あにゃまる探偵
まいんちゃん？まよいまいまいの八九時真宵ちゃんしか知らないぞ。彼女なら当然年を取らないから変な薬なぞいらないぞ！こらあららぎてめえひとりでさわりまくりやがっておれもなかまに、あ、おれにもパ○ツ（以下断じて省略）
のりＰには執行猶予がつきましたが、某瓦斯編集主幹は執行猶予どころか裁判所からそのまま市中ひきまわし–＞はりつけ獄門確定でつね。
（・∀・）ﾏｼﾞ、ﾔｳﾞｧｸﾅｲ？某瓦斯編集主幹ﾀｲ-ﾎﾓ近ｲﾅ
まいんちゃんや、ベッキーの記事など、最近は若い娘や幼女に目覚めたのか主幹？
そんなことしていると、児童ポルノ禁止法に引っかかって捕まるぞ。
この記事にはいくつか誤りがありますね。
探偵の毛利小五郎
→ ジャック・バウアー
コナン → 主幹
まいんちゃんが成長していくのに耐えられなかった主幹による犯行であることは明白です。
>きょうはみんなでお赤飯を食べることになっていたの
最近は赤まんまでなくケーキのようだけど名
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>国の宝の幼女を…よくも…
>きょうはみんなでお赤飯を食べることになっていたの。
また、まいんちゃんは「国の宝」なのか？
住所：コミケ会場（晴海）
職業：60年代海外アニメ（鼠関係を除く）愛好家
ちなみに「ちびっ子光線」というものもあるが、あれは身長が極端に縮むだけで年齢には影響がない。ほとぼりが冷めたころ自称少年探偵が新たな犯行に及ばないよう、あらかじめ警告しておく。
住所：皇居
職業：ネット右翼
主幹みたいなオッサンなら
あーかいキャンディー
あーおいキャンディー
知ってるーかい
という歌を知っているはずだ
大きくなっても赤いキャンディーを食べさせればいいだけだ
なお、裁判のさい、コナン君の弁護には本人たっての希望で某ウヨババア弁護士が国会をサボり参加。
裁判長に裏取引を持ちかけコナン君は特例として極刑を免除。かわりに社会奉仕という名目で彼女らの忠実なショタ奴隷となって悪しきババアたちの性の慰めものとして苦難の生涯をまっとうすることとなった。
いずれにせよアグネスさんに通報しますた！
住所：名古屋県
職業：荒らし
主幹、気を付けて下さい。
ＮＨＫと内閣調査室は蜜月の関係です（噂）。
16時～18時の間、こどももいないのに教育テレビを見ている男性は、ロリコン予備軍として「児童ポルノ予防法」の対象になります（噂）。
コナン？明らかに偽名だろ。
本名を隠すということは、そいつ在日だなwww
住所：番組欄
職業：テロと糞法延長を求める会世話人
麻生氏滅亡以降迷走を続ける貴紙は遂に魔淫ちゃんの毒牙にかかり、公萌党政権樹立後は児ポ法逐条違反によりお取り潰しは火を見るより明らか。
もとの濁りの鳩山恋しきと嘯き乍ら刑場へ。
某瓦斯万歳！
住所：不定
職業：童貞
そういや、bogus beautyが何年も更新されてないけど、そろそろ差し替えてもいいのでは。
まいんちゃんとかに。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
例のクスリを妙齢女性陣に飲ませたら、どこまで若返るんだろうか？そして主幹が喰いつくのだろうか？
住所：ネズミーランド
職業：あにゃまる探偵
>ちなみに「ちびっ子光線」というものもあるが
♪ちっちゃな体で作戦開始～、てか。
このあたりの作品もっと子供向きに再放送しないかなあ。DVD（出てるのか？）より再放送ですよ、うん。
wikiで調べたら日米合作だって。びっくり。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
>極刑を免除
局部を免除してかん・が～んになるんだ如。
>例のクスリを妙齢女性陣に飲ませたら、どこまで若返るんだろうか？
哀ちゃんに食いつく主幹ですね。わかります。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
我々は、草壁桜殿の発明を待つしかないのであろうか。最近、その存在が人々の記憶から消えかけているのは、未来からの干渉かもしれない。
ぴぴるぴるぴるぴぴるぴ～
新たに入った情報によると、コナンに変装したレプカ主幹が飲ませようとした毒物は白濁色でしかも股間から発射されたという。
しかもレプカ主幹はそれをまいんちゃんの上の口だけでなく下の（中略）にまで飲ませようとしたところ、まいんちゃんの主治医ダグラス・ロスによって取り押さえられたそうである。
え？そのコナンじゃないって？
「ﾀｲｶﾞｱﾄﾞﾍﾞﾝﾁｬｰ」の方でつか？それとも聖都ｼｭﾜちゃんの映画？
住所：靖国神社
「来た！意外と早くギガントが飛んだわ！」とか言うんですか、まいんちゃんが。
本来は去年辺り来るはずだったんだけど。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
現実のロリコンは一般人より遥かに安全なんですけどね・・
なのに、凄惨な事件が起こると、いの一番に疑われるのであった。
ロリコンは無実の罪を背負って十字架の刑に処される運命なのでしょうね。
微乳タイプ殿
18時までと云う事は天〇レは監視対象外なのですな？
有り難い…。
電車男殿
如何に秋葉原の居酒屋とて些か不穏当な妄想の話を大きな声でされては、隣の席で“年頃の娘を持つ父親”である友と飲んでいた私くしめにとっては“安全”と云う訳にはいきませなんだ。
ところで、今気づいたんだけど。
主幹のツイッターをフォローしてるユーザに「婚活SNS」ってのが。
きっとそれ見つけた主幹が世をはかなんで暴走はじめたんじゃないかなあ。
直感だけど
住所：靖国神社
職業：日本会議シンパ
「たまの失敗は、スパイスかもね」と振り向きながらＶサインをするのが、まいんふゃんの振り付けと、歌詞だろう。改ざんは犯罪だ。
なぜ妻ある３０男が、知っているかって？、それは・・・それは。・・・
これウソ？
これってホントの記事なん？
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
遺体を山に捨てたのは、遺体を隠すためではなく、捨てる作業を隠すためです。犯人は自分が見られるの避けただけなのです。登山者が多いのは分かっているので、早期に発見されるのも計算ずくです。
まいんちゃんを怖がらせた悪人が早く捕まるように願ってます。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
遺体を解体した犯人のアジトは山の近くにあります。実家ではなく、借り家か別荘か空き家を無断拝借しているかです。移り住んで数年の他県の人物で、年は中年以上、複数犯。ホラー映画は関連性無し。警察は見当違いをしている。
まいんちゃんに酷い事をした犯人が早くつかまりますように。
ヤの筋で、特にコ○シを専門に請け負っていながら、別荘借るなんてアシがつくような真似は、絶対しない。
今時、車で遠出し放題。
今んトコ、稲川○が騒がしい。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
“少女の敵”はロリコンにとっても敵なので、絶対に許せないのです。
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