トヨタ自動車は今春入社した大卒事務系・技術系の新入社員約900人を、材料として自動車生産ラインに投入することを決めた。ハイブリッド車の販売が好調なものの、需要先行きが不透明なことから新規資材購入に踏み切れず、
「大卒社員の苦肉」
を転用するという策で当面を乗り切る方針だ。
生産ラインに投入された大卒社員は、いったんグラインダーにかけて粉々に粉砕されたうえで元素レベルで分別される。ひとりから収集できる原材料は水35リットル、炭素20キログラム、アンモニア4グラム、石灰1.5キログラム、リン800グラム、塩分250グラム、硝石100グラム、硫黄80グラム、フッ素7.5グラム、鉄5グラム、ケイ素3グラムと試算されており、そのまま余すところなく自動車部品に転用される。
トヨタ関係者によれば、この施策によって予定外の資材調達コストを圧縮できるうえダブつき気味の人員も削減できるという
「一石二鳥の作戦」
だ。首切り、内定切りなどをおこなわずに済むため世論の批判を避けることができるとの期待もある。
とはいえ、当の大卒社員の中には
「こんなはずじゃなかった」
「はなしがちがう」
などと駄々をこねるモンスター社員もいるとのことで、計画完遂には悪しき戦後教育に染まった若者の性根をどう叩き直すかが課題となりそうだ。
住所：不定
職業：自室警備員
これぞまさにソイレント・グリーン税制。
日本がエコの超最先端を疾走していることが再確認できる話でした。
粉骨砕身、滅私奉公ですね。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
悪意97kgが足りないと思ったが、違うものの成分であったか。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
少し前のトヨタは、口入屋からの労働者や出稼ぎの期間労働者の苦肉を転用しておりましたが、時代は変わりましたねぇ。
ちなみに、日産ではカルロスという外国人による斬首が恒例行事だそうですが。
トヨタのプリウスは錬金術の等価交換で出来ていたんですか…
道理で低速時の電気モーターが静かな訳ですね？日本人労働者の属性です…
すると、何時の間にか居なくなって仕舞った昨年末の大量解雇期間工達は、やはり賢者の石に…？
一体、誰が神に成り代わろうとしているんですか？！
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：めがねっ娘
ホワイトカラーからブルーカラーを経てレッドカラーに至るとは、大卒社員にとってはまさしく羊頭「狗肉の策」といえましょう。
人間の成分を見て、一瞬人体錬成するのかと思いました。
住所：ネビル星
職業：メトロン星人
さすがkarousiのトヨタ
映画「トランスフォーマー トヨタ編」ですね。
主幹さまに制作総指揮をお願いします。
肉骨粉の使用によって車海綿状脳症が大発生しそうですね。
安全のためにトヨタ車の購入は避けた方がよいでしょう。
そもそも車を買うための余分な金などﾜﾀｸｼございませんわﾎﾎﾎﾎﾎ
なるほど、トヨタほど地球の環境に優しい企業はないですな。
>「映画ﾄﾗﾝｽﾌｫｰﾏｰ ﾄﾖﾀ編」
そこは「マスターフォースで君もトランスフォーム！」でしょうJK！ってパパが力説してます。
シートはもちろん人間椅子よねｵﾎﾎﾎﾎ
>シートはもちろん人間椅子よねｵﾎﾎﾎﾎ
客が舞妓さんだったら、喜んで人力車になるものが続出すると思いますぞ。
人間粉砕ならＮセメント会社が詳しい。
http://www.aozora.gr.jp/cards/000031/files/228_21664.html
今回のbogusnewsは90年前の再発行では
ないのか？
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
そんな、まだるっこしい方法より、社員に生命保険を掛けた上で、過労死させれば良いでは無いか。
住所：名古屋県
職業：荒らし
画面に触れたり、画面にキスしたりする苦肉のゲームも流行ってることですし。
＞まだるっこしい
＞長閣下
それか、呪術的だったり霊的だったりする移動方法とか、旧日本軍の加藤さんに開発を依頼する方法もあると思います。
但し『それなら移動する側が、簡単に移動出来る形態になれ！』とか曰って帝都皆殺しとか画策されて仕舞う可能性は否定出来ません。
住所：おうち
職業：便衣兵
脳味噌はやはりカーナビのデータ処理に利用するんでしょうね。
我が日本国民は、和を乱さず同調を良しとし、空気を読むことには長けています。
地図を読むことにも長けていって欲しいものですな。
なんか大学出たらいきなり道で金髪美人に「（機械の）身体は欲しくない？」って声かけられたｗｗｗｗｗ
１月＊＊ただけなのに封筒の中に１ ２ 万入ってたぁぁぁ！！！！
(⊃ Д)⊃≡゜ ゜
セ-レ-ヴの金 銭 感 覚ってムチャクチャｗｗｗｗｗ
次は堤工場で一晩＊＊＊＊る予定なんだけど
報-酬がいくらになるか見当つかねぇｗｗｗｗｗ
（･∀･）前ｶﾗｺﾉねた狙ｯﾃﾏｽﾀ
コレでできた車をトヨタ社員限定で売れば完全リサイクル完了だよ！まさにEcoだね！
>星＊鉄朗さん
そこはネジになるところまで行かないと。
住所：地の底
職業：あにゃまる探偵
あれ？このやり方ってこの前の戦争の時もうやって大失敗したんじゃなかったっけ？
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
下野なうな新聞が好きそうな話ですな。とはいえ、下野なうな新聞の場合だと、新聞にこもりんやあびるんの肉が練りこまれるのだろうか？いやだなぁ。
>脳味噌はやはりカーナビのデータ処理に利用
カレンデバイスBD-6krですね、わかります。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
トヨタのラインはきつすぎると、日産のラインで働いている人が言ってましたよ。
大卒社員かわいそ・・
職業：くろだ
全然関係ありませんが、
私も大好きな
あの廃嫡皇子が主人公の某人気シリーズをネタにした
同人小説の話題が新聞にでておりましたわ。
でも所詮同人ですものね。
ここはぜひとも
公式で三期をやってほしいですわね。もう主人公も亡くなっていますし
こういう外伝でよいですから。
http://www.yomiuri.co.jp/national/culture/news/20091102-OYT1T00017.htm
この苦肉策には年金もろうとるＯＢを再雇用したほうがなにかとお得やね。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
大卒より、ねいちんをベルトコンベアーに乗せて次々と駅弁できる夢の工場の方がイイ如。
住所：四次元
「俺は風になるんだ」と言って社会に巣立ち、本当に風になったのだなあと。
千の風に～♪
トヨタが今回限りでＦ１から撤退、年間数百億円のＦ１経費を削減するそうです。
錬金術を使ってまで人々から搾り取ったカネが、ドコへ行くのか不思議でしたが。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
赤字も予想したほどじゃやなかったそうで・・
政府の支援で助かったんだから、お国に恩返しろよトヨタ。
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
使えない管理職をまわした方が会社のためにいいんですけどね。奥田とか。
ジェンダーフリーということは、ショタをねらった犯行もあるということだな。
住所：皇居
職業：童貞
コの超最先端をコの超最先端をコの超最先端をコの超最先端をコの超最先端をコの超最先端を
職業：童貞
yes this was very accurate
永田議員も飛び降り自殺なさったことだし、主幹も、結婚詐欺で恋に破れて、ドスンといっているのか、また、キョウサントウ系の日比谷公園にできた村の住人になっているかと心配しておりました。生きていて何より。ともあれ、永田君のご冥福をお祈りします。
住所：皇居
職業：便衣兵
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