独・チューリンゲン大の研究班が発見した3万5千年以上前の古代人のフルートを検査したところ、不可解な痕跡がみつかり論議を呼んでいる。フルートの吹き込み口部分に、持ち主と見られる女子と、もうひとり別の男子の唾液のあとが付着していたのだ。「個人用の楽器に、なぜ二人ぶんの唾液がついたのか。当時の生活習慣は今とはかなり違うものだったのかもしれない」と研究者らは首をひねっている。
このフルートはドイツ南西部ウルム近郊のホーレ・フェラスル洞窟から見つかったもので、地層の状況や炭素同位体分析から3万5千年前に使用されていた「世界最古級」のものと判定され、注目を集めていた。当時の人類の暮らしぶりにせまるため、チューリンゲン大がさらに詳しい調査をおこなったところ、吹き込み口から唾液由来と見られるヒトの体細胞DNAを発見。分析した結果、
- 内側から持ち主と見られる若い女子のDNA
- その上全体をなめ回すように男子のDNA
と、二人ぶんのDNAがついていることがわかった。
同大学の研究員は、
「古代とはいえ、直接口につけるものを二人以上で共有するとは考えづらい。当時と現代とでは生活習慣や衛生観念がかなり異なっていたということだろうか」
と首をひねっている。また、男子の唾液痕からは性的興奮状況にあったことを示す大量の男性ホルモンも検出されており、男子が「冷静さと集中力が求められるフルートの演奏中にハァハァしていた」としか思えないため、ナゾまたナゾを呼んでいる状況だ。
なお、フェラスル洞窟の追跡発掘調査では、さらに
- 女子の名前の書かれた上履き
- 女子の名札のついた体操着
などが土中に隠された状態で発見されている。誰が何のために集め、隠したのか。古代の人々の生活実態を把握するには、まだまだ時間がかかりそうだ。
人間はいつまでたっても基本的に進化しないんですね。
＞進化しないんですね。
ちょ、おれはもう笛盗んだりしねーよ！
ちゃんとエロ本も買えるようになったもん！
今回の記事のあとで、フェ○スル洞窟からフルートを奪い合った男子達の様子が描かれた壁画が発見されると思います。
たぶんフルート争奪戦が原因でフェ○スル文明？が消滅したのでしょう…
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
たかが３万５千年前だべ？
栃木の葛生原人なんぞぁ50万年だぞ！
しかもよ、尺八みてえなモンまで出てんだかんな。
みんな知んねえべ？
ちいっとばっかワイセツなんで秘密んなってんだけんどよ！
「夜が怖い」ってマンガ知ってる？
超気持ちわるいよ。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
資料写真は、「浦安鉄筋家族」にすべきでは無いか？
>浦安鉄筋家族
長 勇どの フルートを吹くとジャイアント馬場が復活します。
「最古のヴィーナス像」とチャンコ型関取の類似について。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
近くに「黄金の蜂蜜酒」の容器が発見されないことを祈るばかりである。
＞「黄金の蜂蜜酒」
陛下ともあろうものが…。
「黄金のワカメ酒」の間違いでは？
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
>* 女子の名前の書かれた上履き
* 女子の名札のついた体操着
女子の名札のついたスク水はハケーンされなかったのでつか？
そのDNAは同じ個体の物…3万5千年前には、雌雄同体の《原初のﾋﾄ》がまだ生き残っていたのね。
彼=彼女は、男と女（そしてﾓﾃと非ﾓﾃ）に分裂し果て無い争いに耽る劣った子孫達に愛想を尽かし、星々の彼方へと去ったのよ。
なお発掘された体操着や上履きは、古代非ﾓﾃの非常食です。
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
え？ 妙齢の女性ジャーナリストが主幹を尺八？
住所：ウガンダ共和国
職業：調理師
男子校→理系→技術職へと進んだ僕の拙い経験によると、男子校ではそのような事案が発生することなんてありませんでした。
つまり…三万五千年前には男子校って存在しなかったのでしょうね…
ちなみに、僧が尺八を仏具として所持していること、僧の”持ち物”は小姓がくわえるものということから「尺八」という符丁がうまれたのだそうです。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
とてもいい発見ですね。太古の時代から、少年少女というものは愛と性に目覚めていたという事でしょうか。
というわけで、児童ポルノ禁止法は絶対廃棄！！
このフルートはある種の宗教儀礼によって埋められたものと思われます。
それは、先に同じ場所から豊満な力士像が出ている事から明らかです。
恐らく、ホムンクルス合成を目指した、非常に危険な秘儀だったのでしょう。
更なる発見が期待されます。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
ねいちんが
ふいてくれる如
猛る勃て笛
超絶技巧で
びっくんびくん
フルートの持ち主はあしゅら男爵だったというのが常識的な解釈であろう。
同時に出土した体操着は鑑定の結果、スパッツの先祖であるｺﾄが解った。
下品な「ぶるまー」などというものは滅ぶのが運命の突然変異種であったか、はたまた元より「猫耳」「触手」のような現実世界に存在しない、痛いファンタジーの産物だったのだろう。
住所：靖国神社
職業：二千万特攻の司令官
続報が入った。新たに「フルートによる打撃痕がある男子の頭蓋骨」が発見された模様。
浴衣きて死ぬまで童貞かも知れず
（実話です）
ルイヴィトン バッグ 新作
グッチ 長財布
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