アメリカのゲーツ国防長官は6日、米空軍の最新鋭ステルス戦闘機である「F22Aラプター」の生産中止をオバマ大統領に提言する予定であることを明らかにした。F22は日本では次期主力戦闘機の有力候補とされていただけに今後の国防体制は根本的な見直しを迫られることになりそうだ。しかし、もっと心配なのはゲーツ長官が米議会などから白い目で見られることと、再び米ソ冷戦が引き起こされる可能性が出てきたこと。
この日、記者会見に臨んだゲーツ長官は「開発開始当初とは世界情勢が大きくかわり、F22のようなマルチロールでステルスなどという兵器はコストが見合わなくなった」と説明。自信に満ちた顔で
「ステルス機はもう捨てるっす」
と述べた。瞬間、会見場に居合わせた一同は凍りついたという。
ゲーツ長官の発言に対し、アメリカの上下両院は激しく反発している。特に舌鋒鋭いのは環境保護意識の高い議員連で
「こんな寒いギャグをとばすとは。いくら温暖化が進んでいるとはいえ程度問題だ。許されることと許されないことがある」
とカンカン。場合によっては引責辞任も要求していくかまえで、ようやく落ち着きを見せつつあったオバマ新政権の人事に、ふたたびダメージを与えかねない事態となっている。
いっぽう、発表を受け、もうひとつの軍事大国ロシアもすばやく動いた。元大統領で今も事実上の最高権力者であるプーチン氏は、記者団の取材に答え
「ステルスを捨てる？ そんな状態でうちのミグと戦ってみぐのは無謀だな」
と周辺一帯をすばやく寒くしてみせ、早くも東西冷戦再開への準備を整えたようす。たったひとことのオヤジギャグが、いま、世界融和の歯車を狂わせ逆回転を起こしはじめた。ギャグだけにギャグ回転と言えそうだ。
寒い洒落はやめなシャレ･･
住所：名古屋県
職業：自室警備員
主幹！
やっちまったな！
住所：名古屋県
職業：アルファコメンター
ゆとり主幹に教えて進ぜよう。
>厳しく反発
「厳しく」→「批判」
「激しく」→「反発」
>ステルス機はもう捨てるっす
ちょっとまて、ゲーツ長官や、議員は日本語で話をしてたのか？
このギャグが英語で語られて通じるなんておかしいじゃないか。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>このギャグが英語で語られて通じるなんておかしいじゃないか。
太古の昔から、日本語こそが、世界共通語だったのだ。
竹内文書にも、ちゃんと、そう書いてある。
＞ゆとり主幹に教えて進ぜよう
また出たな、サヨク工作員の誤字ねつ造が！
主幹は恵まれない環境で世界の人々に真実を届けるため、ケータイで一生懸命推敲して書いてるんだよ！ 間違いなんてあるわけないだろ！ たとえあったとしても、微笑んで見過ごしてやるのが美しい国のやり方のはず！ この特定日本人めプギャｒｙ）
住所：海外(北海道)
職業：魔法少女
やってしまいましたね・・・ｗ
住所：不定
職業：童貞
長勇殿
＞太古の昔から、日本語こそが、世界共通語だったのだ。
nameの語源は「なまえ」、holeの語源は「ほる」と、清水義範先生も言っていますな。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
ぜひ、
「イージス艦はもういいじっス。」
というダジャレも期待したいものですな。
主幹さま…次いでに
「ミサイルを売るのに、店いる？」もお願いします。
地球温暖化は主幹によって回避された。すばらしい。
「ステルスはもう捨てるッス」と言った瞬間にＪ.Ｆ.Ｋ.暗殺勢力からタマタマがスッ跳んで来なかっただけで、幸運だにょ。
赤い将軍様の祝砲が無ければ、危険だったにょ。
「ミッグミッグにしてやんにょ！」とトッサに続けて出ないプーチンは、まだまだジャパン・クールに乗れてないにょ！
マッチョだから、柔道師範でも「カ・ワ・イ・イ！」が分からない…
住所：お花畑
職業：愛と平和推進
ああヨーコ、人類はなんと救いようがないんだろう。またもあの愚かな歴史を繰り返そうというのか。
無益だ。あまりに無益だ。私が旅立った後、世紀が変わったというのにいまだに冷戦を・・・。
なんだって？ヨーコ。君の故国からこの冷たい戦争を収めるべく、ある人々が立ち上がるから大丈夫だって？
まさか。。。彼らがついに動いてくれるとは。そうか、それならもう少しこの天上の秘密の楽園から事態を見守るとしよう。
彼らならきっとやってくれるさ・・・
あの
林家一門なら。
(･∀･)日本ﾓ常任理事国入ﾘﾅﾉ？
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
いまどきの若者もおっさんも、冷戦時代に飛びかっていたあの言葉の数々には耐えられないであろう。無駄に年を重ねた老人も例外ではない。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
そんなのは Ａ詭弁だ如。
え～きべん、えきべん、
ばんざ～～い！！
だ如。
ついでに、
てぃむこが ぼるまんに
入る、ひっとら～
だ如。
あんな電子機器満載の情報収集型戦闘機、自衛隊如き使いっ走りには売ってやんない！って意味で、ゲーツさんは「開発が終了した、完成！って事。量産しない」って言ってます。
中川（ヤク）も三菱重工もアテが外れて懐が寒かろう…
…糞みたいな長時間ｻﾋﾞ残に拘束されてると気が立って、深夜ﾗｼﾞｵの糞つまらんハガキ職人にさえ殺意の波動が滲みでるのに…これは…いかな事これは…
ってパパがゆってるわ。パパの殺意はｱﾀｼの殺意…主幹ッ覚悟！ｷｴｴｴｴッ！
というわけで主幹が出棺
でも「はらだとおもーよ」の方が寒かったわ～。
住所：シベリア
職業：KGB
ふっ、Ｆ２２を生産中止にするとは、うちのミグもみぐびられたもんだな。
しかあし、うちのスホーイはすーほいほいやられはせんぞ。
住所：名古屋県
職業：アルファコメンター
>厳しく反発
なかったことになってる。さすが主幹。一貫した芸風。
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
主幹、こんなメジャーな新聞でも記事を書いていたんですね。
http://sankei.jp.msn.com/culture/academic/090408/acd0904080639001-n1.htm
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
個人的にはSu-47ベールクトが好きなので冷えるギャグなどお願いします。
http://milmulti.jugem.jp/?eid=47
住所：コミケ会場（晴海）
職業：80年代アニメ愛好家
>自衛隊如き使いっ走りには売ってやんない！
わが国には可変戦闘機バルキリーがあるのでF22ごときは要らぬ！
＞Ｆ２２ごときは要らぬ！
でも、安倍（下痢）と前原（学会妻）は慌てて米国詣でに出発するそうですよ？
（バルキリーは米国を初めとする世界に配信されるでしょうが…）
つらつらおもんみるに、次のマクロスは「超時空武闘伝Gマクロス」がいいと思うのです。
宇宙植民が進み多くの植民星が存在する地球連邦。
その中で次期統合戦闘機計画が難航、結局各植民星のメーカーが作ったバルキリーを一堂に集めてコンペティションが行われることに。
この日のために母星の誇りをかけて地球に集結する各星の代表（パイロット＋歌姫）。
誰もが認める大本命 次世代とは俺のこと！
真の超音速巡航（スーパークルーズ）を知らしめたい！
ネオアメリカからVF-22だ！
VF-19の正統後継者 黒い前進翼！
ネオロシアからVFSu-37ベルクト！
宇宙の大ベストセラーVF-16に磨きをかけた！
敵は陸海空なんでもござれ ネオジャパンからVF-2！
中国四千年 イスラエル四千年 あわせてアジア八千年！
ネオチャイナから可殲10！
ダブルデルタも多目的機もすでに我々が完成させた！
最小最強の芸術品 ネオスウェーデンからバルキリーグリペン！
単座なのはパイロットが歌姫だからだッ！
ユーロ時代のユーロ戦闘機だ！ いかにも変形しそうなインテーク！
シューマッハにはないしょだ！ ユーロバルキリー・タイフーン！
最強を目指すからユーロファイター計画から抜けたのだ！
裏切り者と呼ばば呼べ ネオフランスからバルキリーラファール！
あとは主人公パイロットと自国の歌姫と他国の歌姫の三角関係ですね。
……やらないかなあマジで
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
F-22は駄作機。
http://www.technobahn.com/cgi-bin/news/read2?f=200904221502
やっぱ自衛隊はSu-47ベールクトを採用すべし。
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