有性生殖しかできないと思われてきたヒトの男性が、実は単為生殖で増えることが可能だということが1日までにわかった。単為生殖は生物一般ではメスだけに確認されている現象であるほか、男性のみでの生殖には「やおい穴」による交尾が必要との説が有力だっただけに、学会に衝撃が走っている。
民間の研究機関エイベックス社が実証実験で明らかにしたもの。同社によると、7人の男性被験者を隔離業界内に閉じ込め、ダンスやグラサン、レコード大賞などを与えたところ、いつの間にか倍の14人へとムダに増えていたという。
「個体数がきれいに2倍になっていることから、単為生殖で増えたことは間違いない」
と研究員は語る。
男性だけによる生殖の可能性は
「やおい穴を使った愛のある交尾をすればありうる」
という矢追攻受博士の「やおい仮説」により提唱され多くの腐女子に支持されてきたが、今回の発見はそれを覆すもので大きな衝撃を呼んでいる。
池袋・乙女ロードで通りすがりの女性たちに取材したところ、
「やおい仮説が誤っているなんてありえない。カップリング妄想もなにもかも成立しなくなってしまう。実験のミスではないか。きっと研究所の所長（♂）と研究員（♂）が禁断の恋に芽生えてしまい、所長×研究員で愛を確かめ合っているうちに計器操作に失敗してしまったのだろう。うーん、白衣はいい…」
など、一様にショックを隠しきれないようすだった。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
タケオ！
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
ねいちんの裸白衣は脱がせやすいからイイ如。
主幹、しっかりしてください！ あなたが求めているのは生殖行為であって生殖そのものではないはずです！
主幹もパパになれるのか
子供産むパパがいる、と。
それよりも、ニャツ烈様は、あの話をどう思われていらっしゃるのでしょうか…高木美保様の旦那様と一緒にうまくやっていけることを望む。
住所：不定
職業：IT士方
http://waranote.blog76.fc2.com/blog-entry-1541.html
この可能性を無視しているのではないか
爺っちゃんﾅﾆかけて！これは特亜の２億人日本侵略計画に違いないわっ！ﾊﾞﾝﾊﾞﾝ増えた輩に国籍も人権も与えないよう、手当たり次第闇雲にFAXしなきゃっ！
そしてかわゆいショタっ子はﾋﾟｼﾋﾟｼ保護してでへへへへ。百均で犬の首輪買ってこよーっと★
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
民間の研究機関エイベックス社による、種も仕掛けもあるニセ科学でしょうね。
カルト宗教に利用されないように気をつけるべきでしょう。
ここ、いつまで続けるの？ 右のアマゾン騙しリンク、規約に触れるんじゃないの？
>ここ、いつまで続けるの？
主幹が童貞を喪失するまで。
いやこれは・・・。もしかしてアレみたいな増え方じゃないか？ほら、アレ。中学とか高校のとき習う
プ ラ ナ リ ア。
どんな奴だっけと思ってウィキペディア読んだら
「プラナリアは、扁形動物門ウズムシ綱ウズムシ目ウズムシ亜目に属する動物の総称。広義には、三岐腸目に属する動物の総称。さらに、渦虫鋼に分類される動物の総称とする説もある。体表に繊毛があり、この繊毛の運動によって渦ができることからウズムシと呼ばれる。」
なんかよくわかんないけど語呂がいいね。扁形動物とか三岐腸目とか。
ウ ズ ム シ
なんて響きからして似合ってるよね、某瓦斯新聞に。
(･∀･)ｺﾉ、ｳｽﾞﾑｼ野朗！ﾅﾝﾂｯﾃﾅ
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
主幹が童貞を卒業するのは56億7千万年後だそうです。
bogusnewsの女性愛読者は、みな閉経しているのにも関わらず、コメントが増えているのはそのせいだったんですね。
>いつまで続けるの？
いやあ、意外と早いかもしれませんよ。
可能性として
「麻生政権が倒れるまで」とか
「自民が下野して解党するまで」だの
「交渉が進展して拉致被害者が帰還するまで」etc、
色々考えられますね。
某瓦斯新聞程の大手新聞になると、主幹だけで記事の全てを切り盛りしていると考えるのは常識的に考えておかしい。
だからこの記事に対する変態読者の反響としては、
腐女子記者ﾀﾝ(*´Д`*)ﾊｧﾊｧ/lｧ/lｧ/ヽァ/ヽァ ﾉ ＼ア ﾉ ＼ア ／ ＼ ア
が正しいと思われる。
住所：名古屋県
職業：自室警備員
孫の顔を見たい両親にとって明るいニュースです。
> 56億7千万年後
弥勒菩薩が兜率天からおりてきて数百億人の衆生を救済するそうです。
百科事典によると太陽が赤色巨星化するのもこのころらしいです。
Web 上のうわさによるとこの銀河とアンドロメダが衝突するのもこのころとの説もあるようです。
弥勒菩薩は果たして救済者なのか破壊者なのか。主幹の卒業はあるのか。56億7千万年後が楽しみです。
＞「やおい仮説」
バンコランとマライヒしか知りません…。orz
＞ＥＸＺＬＥ倍増！！１４人体制に！！弟分ユニットと合体！！ファン衝撃
やっぱり、エヴァンゲリオンが合体の意味をイヤラシくしたから…
主幹も千人くらいに分裂すれば、一人くらい童貞卒業できるってばよ！
精神的にはいっぱい分裂できてるのにね。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
社乱球ツンク博士や秋元安死博士は、若いおなごを自由に増やしたり減らしたりしておりましたが。
プラナリアは自分の意志で分裂するわけじゃなくて、外力で切断されたときに再生するだけだから、この場合は
ゾ ウ リ ム シ
の方が近いんではないかと思うにょ。
住所：名古屋県
職業：アルファコメンター
そうか、EXILEはゾウリムシに近いのか。
プラナリアってなんか卑猥な形をしているからね。メディアに露出させるならゾウリムシのほうがいいかも。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
Exile(=追放)なのに、メンバーが増えるとは、コレ、如何に？
プ ラ ナ リ アと
ﾌ ﾀ ﾅ ﾘ やって似てるわね。
…やおい穴装備の男子ってﾌﾀﾅﾘにｶﾃｺﾞﾗｲｽﾞされないの？教えてやおい人。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
しかし考えていただきたい。単為生殖では性別が同じになってしまうではないか。女子でなければ人にあらず。
> 卒業
夜の某瓦斯、投書欄、荒らしてまわった
>女子中学二年生さん
ﾌﾀﾅﾘとはこれがことですか（さるお方のﾌﾞｸﾏ経由）
http://ibra.blog52.fc2.com/blog-entry-919.html
＞教えて
穴流は尻にも腿にも凄い汗を掻きます。
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
主幹さま、櫻井さんや曽野さんに生気を吸われすぎて、とうとう西尾さんや八木さんに走るんですか？
ちなみに専門的な見地から言わせてもらえれば、やおい穴での生殖といった話は完全な間違いであって、やおいに於ける生殖は『女体化』といわれるものが頻繁に見られる。
これはある種の魚に見られる生態で、オスばかりの群れの中に、性転換してメスになるものが現れるという現象と同じだろう。
つまり、カクレクマノミだな。
住所：靖国神社
職業：日本会議シンパ
一言。知らねえよ。この記事に羅列された単語。・
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
なお、本記事で取り上げられている7人の男が14人に増えた経緯だが、すでに映画化されているようである。
http://www.exile-kizuna.com/
こんにちはサムライ野球
原風紀委員長「ヒゲ面、金髪は厳禁」…ではアノ男も？(夕刊フジ)
侍ジャパンのナインが、原辰徳監督（５０）の“厳格ファッションチェック”におびえている。次なる矛先は、チームリーダーの、あの人しかいない？！
温厚そうな笑顔からは想像しにくいが、原監督は髪形、服装には実にうるさい。「球界の紳士たれ」の球団訓の下、伝統的にヒゲ面厳禁、キッチリした服装着用が決められている巨人一筋に過ごしてきたからだろう。
宮崎での代表合宿中、まずは休養日の１９日に、西武・中島が自慢の鮮やかな金髪を真っ黒に染めた。「山田さん（代表投手コーチ）から『サムライらしくしろ』と言われた」のだとか。
続いて、人気ユニットＥＸＩＬＥ風に両方の耳の上に２本ずつそり込みを入れていた横浜・村田が、原監督から直接「プロレスラーならそれでいいかもしれないが、サムライとしてはどうだ？」と苦言を呈され、２１日に自らバリカンで刈り上げてそり込みを消した。
原にしろ星野にしろ野村にしろ、こうした中学教師じみたセンスの持ち主という意味では大差ないんですよね。既成の権威に必要以上に従いたがる、従わせたがる、まぁ世に評価されるタイプとはそういうものなのでしょう。どうせ最後は「ハラキリ」かも知れませんが。
で、「サムライらしくしろ」「サムライとしてはどうだ？」だそうです。私が代表選手だったら、「自分はサムライではなく野球選手ですから」と一蹴したいところですが、サムライにあらざれば人に非ず、一億総サムライ社会ですからそうも行かないのでしょうか。監督の好き嫌いで選考の対象から外されたり、招集されてもずっとベンチだったり、そういうことはどこの国でも、あるいはどの競技でも珍しくないですしね。
しかし「サムライ」らしい髪型、服装とはこの場合、何を意味しているのでしょうか。過去の歴史において侍と呼ばれた人々を参考にするなら、髪に剃りを入れて髷を結うのがサムライらしい髪型ということになりそうです。しかるに実例としては、金髪を黒く染め直したり、剃り込みを隠したり等々、これが「サムライ」らしくした結果のようです。ふ～む、中学校の校則に引っ掛からないようにすることが「サムライ」なんでしょうか。
まぁ要するに「サムライ」とは「いい子」のことなんですよね。あるいは「優等生」ぐらいの意味合いでしょうか。この辺とかこの辺で
exile＝放浪者
って意味もあるらしい
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