2009年1月の実施まで半年を切った「株券電子化」。いわゆる“タンス株券”が無効になるため関係者は周知に躍起だが、ここにきてもうひとつの落とし穴の存在が発覚。株式市場を根底から揺るがしかねない状況であることがわかった。金融庁などは個人投資家らに注意を呼び掛けている。
その落とし穴とはなにか。実は、
「電子化された株券にはプラスとマイナスがある」
という事実が、個人投資家に周知徹底されていないというのだ。電子化後、こうした知識のない保有者がプラスの株券とマイナスの株券を一緒に保管すると電荷が相殺されて両方とも消えてしまう。全国で株券消失が起きれば証券市場がパニックに陥るのは明らかだ。
電気にプラス・マイナスがあるというのは小学生レベルの常識のはずだが、株券の保有者に比較的高齢者が多いことがあだとなったようだ。このため、金融庁や株券管理を指導する証券保管振替機構（ほふり）は、投資家らに
「赤っぽいのがプラス、青っぽいのがマイナス」
と急遽広報活動を開始。タンスの中にプラス株券とマイナス株券を一緒にしまい込まないよう呼び掛けている。
こうした混乱に対し、識者のあいだからは
「だから株券電子化には反対だった。今からでも遅くない。中性子化や反物質化に切り替えるべきだ」
と、実施延期を求める声があがっている。なお、読者の中でまだ株券電子化がお済みでない方はbogusnews編集部までお送りいただきたい。プラス・マイナスをまぜないよう、専用電池に閉じ込めてしっかり管理いたします。
株券だけではない、電子マネーもプラスとマイナスがあるのだが、問題にならないのはどうしてか？
うちに大量に貯めてあった、EdyとSuicaが逆の属性だったようで消えてしまっていた。こまったものだ。
電子メールにもプラスとマイナスが一応ありますが、マイナスのほうが圧倒的に多く存在しているため、僅かにあるプラスのメールは殆どマイナスのメールに相殺されてしまうので、人間がプラスのメールを目にすることは滅多に無いそうです。
住所：アッチ
職業：ミチコさん
電脳物質化したらよかったのに。
住所：銀河系
職業：ニート
株券は反物質化して畑に埋めておくのがよろしい。対消滅が起きないようにそっと土をかぶせるのですよ。
いわゆる「株券印刷業」な会社が刷った電子株券には、印刷過程で大量のマイナス電荷を帯びていると言う…。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
わしの＋極とねいちんの－極を合体させてスパークさせるにょ。
寺気持ちよすだにょ。
さらに深刻なことにほとんどの電子株券はマイナスであることも分った。
プラスの陽電子株券には特殊な設備が必要となる。
うちのタンスにも大量にある。電子化するのも面倒だし、処分に困っているので相殺されるのなら助かります。
実家にいるときは、定期的に母ちゃんが捨ててくれたけど、一人暮らしだとどうしても溜まってしまいます。
いまはネットと大容量ハードディスクがあるので、たんすは必要ありませんよね。
住所：おうち
職業：メトロン星人
東京電力のCMが見られません。
>bogusnews編集部までお送りいただきたい。
>しっかり管理いたします。
主幹さま、これは… 詐欺ということなんでしょうか… でも、甲斐まり恵さんがbogusnews編集部員だったら騙されてしまうかもしれないです。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
青い株券から、体にいいと宣伝されているマイナスイオンが出ると勘違いする人も多数出てくるのでしょうね。
それから、赤と青のどちらかをペンチで切ると爆発するということもあるでしょうか？（とはいえ、時限爆破装置付きの場合残り５秒以内で爆破は阻止されますけど。）
よし!わかった！
貴重なフレディマックとファニーメイの株をたんまりと主幹にやろうｗ
> フレディマックとファニーメイ
もっと貴重なライブドアの株を(ry
住所：東別院
職業：触手
ﾊﾟﾁﾝｺ屋の看板で｢出玉100万ﾎﾞﾙﾄ｣てのを見かけたけど､換金を電子ﾏﾈｰで実施してる店なのでつね｡
株券もﾎﾞﾙﾄ換算かしら｡
住所：靖国神社
職業：櫻井よしこ
私のものは貴方のもの
私の身体も貴方のもの
貴方のモノだって……
さっそく私の株券をお送りします。住所をおっしゃってください。二人の生活の糧にしましょうね。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
遠い記憶によれば、たんす株を電子化すると「いんぴーたんす」なるものになるらしい。いわゆる抵抗勢力である。真理を追求するのであろう。
この前病院でＭＲＩ検査をうけたら、ポッケにいれていた電子株券がダメになってしまいました！
金融庁に保証を求めますっ！え？ｼﾞｺｾｷﾆﾝ？？？
そしたら厚生労働省にねじこんでやる！！！
銘柄とコード？もちろん個人投資家の味方「(株)ライブドア —マザーズ：4753」ですが何か？
ﾟ･(ﾉД`)ヽ(ﾟДﾟ )ﾄｯｸﾆ上場廃止ﾀﾞ、ｳﾞｫｹ
＞鯛しょってんの陛下
お恐れながら、申し上げます。
「抵抗勢力」は「れじすたんす」（ナチスに抵抗する地下組織 ぢゃなくって、マジで電気抵抗の事）に御座います。
株券電子化とハッキングの可能性について、ぜひとも主幹様のご高説を伺いとうございますぅ。
金融庁、株券電子化で緊急要請
2日付日経新聞によると金融庁は、来年1月5日に予定されている株券の電子化に向けた対応作業を急ぐよう証券会社に緊急要請します。電子データを管理する証券保管振替機構（ほふり）や日本証券業協会と連携し、システム対応が遅れている証券会社には立ち入り検査するなど監視を強めることも検討する模様です。
***♪ああ電子株券デンシカ♪
（デンシ デンシカ デンシ デンシカ）
ほふりが助けを 求めてる
いよいよほふりが 叫んでる
急げ デンシカ デンシトレードだ
遅れが気になる デンシカブ
（デンシ デンシカ デンシ デンシカ）
ご自宅の株は データで持て 持て
お手持ちの株は …
住所：JP1
職業：電話級
>「抵抗勢力」は「れじすたんす」
宗主国以外との交流を拒む直流国家日本では、インピーダンスを考慮する必要がないですからねにょ。
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