気象庁は19日、今シーズンでははじめてとなる
「残暑警報」
を発表。一般に注意を喚起した。この先2～3週間程度のあいだは中年男性のそばに近づくと思わぬ寒気を感じる可能性があるため、「冷え性の人は警戒するように」とのこと。
残暑警報は例年お盆明けごろに発令される気象警報。この時期は暦の上では8月末ながら暑い日が続くため、
「いやー、残暑が厳しいざんしょ 」
というオヤジギャグが多発する。心の準備もなく聞くとあまりの寒さにからだが凍りつく恐れがあるので、気象庁が過去の統計から残暑ギャグがとりわけ多く発生しそうな日を見計らって発表している。
残暑警報のピークは二十四節気のひとつ「処暑」。今年は8月23日にあたり、この日には
「今日は処暑なんだって～。美代チャンもそうなんじゃないの～？ あ、それは処女か。イヒヒヒ…」
などととりわけ寒いオヤジギャグの発生が予想される。気象庁では、女性会社員らに「寒気予防の毛布以外にセクハラの仕返しができるよう包丁も用意しておくべき」と呼びかける。
こういった残暑ギャグも9月に入れば自然と沈静化するため、あとわずかの辛抱。なぜ9月におさまるのかというと、秋だけにオヤジ自身がギャグに
>飽き飽き
秋秋・・・たぶん、この某瓦版新聞は地球温暖化防止に役立ってると思う。すばらしい。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
>セクハラの仕返し
鋏でちょん切ってあげたら悶絶してイイにょ。
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
あちーとでれ～っとしちまうし、さみーと縮みあがっちまうし、クソの役にもたたねえデレスケオヤジ自身めが～！
たしか来年以降に落雷警報ができると聞きましたので
、オヤジギャグをする人は予報で落雷確率１００％と出るでしょう。
住所：不定
職業：ニート
フハハハハ！今日の記事は、きっと
『Web2.0終了のお知らせ―収益化困難のため』
とかだと思っていたが、俺が思い違いをしていたようだ…。
オヤジギャグは、あえて許そう。しかし、シャーリーのことを「酢飯」（シャリ）とか言う奴は、絶対に許さない。そう、絶対に…。
住所：靖国神社
職業：櫻井よしこ
主幹様！ 今年こそは、今年こそはぁ……。
住所：ニュースJAPAN
職業：プロ左翼市民
で、主幹、この夏、カノジョとのひと夏の思い出はできたの？
あ、聞くだけ野暮か。ごめん
記事名（タイトル）を見ただけで、記事の内容が私には全て伝わってきました。素晴らしいライフハックですね。
＞ルルーシュ
ぬぅ、俺の予想は、
『普通に誰でも知っているブラウザの機能を、
「これは知らせておいた方がいいのでは、と
思いなおし、公開することにしました」
といって記事にすれば、ネタの無い日でも
ブログの更新ができてウハウハ』というライフハック
だと思っていた。
予想が外れて悔しいが、スコアは双方一敗。
今日のところは、これで勘弁しておいてやろう。
住所：海外(北海道)
職業：烏賊
>今日は処暑なんだって～。美代チャンもそうなんじゃないの～？・・・ イヒヒヒ…
この程度に包丁はいかんですな！
「さんじゅう万円ン」とでも切り返して頂きたいもので。オヤジには包丁より福沢センセの方が遙かに応えます。
蝦夷地は九月下旬の冷え込みですぞ。残暑など・・め。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>鋏でちょん切ってあげたら悶絶してイイにょ。
まずは、下ネタばっかり言ってるセクハラ馬賊の一物を切り落とす事から始めてはいかがだろうか？
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
みんな本当はアツアツの駅弁が大好きな日本人のくせに。
職業：工作員
馬大人は中国東北地方出身の方で、旧日本軍から「東洋のナポレオン」と恐れられた、勇猛果敢な中国人と思っていたのに…？
中国加油とか、百年之夢とか、巨龍起床とか、思い入れ無いんですか？
＞シャーリー
＞「酢飯」（シャリ）
しかし、Ｃの世界か何処かにおいでのシャーリーさん自身は、何でも許しそうな感じですが？
ゲーテ『ファウスト』のグレートヒェンみたいな「聖なる女」で。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
>思い入れ無いんですか？
駅弁には思いイレぽんあるよ。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
伊良部の陰部を隠し球だにょ。
「コスプレ五輪」に１３ヵ国・名古屋で開催６回目
呉智英さんと鑑賞・演技「宝塚みたい」
泣く観客、奇観
～略～女性２人がアニメ「コードギアス 反逆のルルーシュ」の美少年に扮した日本代表（大阪）は、登場から盛り上がる。２人が刺し違えたあとに口づけすると「キャー」という歓声があがった。呉さんは「まるで宝塚。演技はセミプロに近いし、何かの形でデビューしようともくろんでいるんじゃないかな」。２人は「９月にニューヨークで開かれるコスプレ大会に呼ばれている」そうで、ちょっとしたコスプレ界のスターだ。～略～
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