タレントのひこにゃんさん（400）が17日未明、滋賀県内の自宅で倒れているのを訪ねてきた人が発見。病院に運び込まれたものの、出血多量ですでに亡くなっていた。発見現場に遺書があったことから滋賀県警では自殺と見ている。ひこにゃんさんは滋賀県彦根市にある彦根城のイメージタレントなどとして活躍。お茶の間で親しまれていた。
ひこにゃんさんが見つかったのは自宅にしている彦根城の一室。ふだん頭にかぶっているカブトの角を尻に突っ込み、血を流し倒れていた。遺書には、
「がんばればがんばるほど
“ゆるい、ゆるい”
と冷やかされ、つらかった」
と綴られていたという。
親しい知人でデザイナーのもへろんさんは、
「彼は一般にはカミングアウトしていなかったが、受け専のゲイ。“ゆるキャラ”として知られるようになってから、ハッテン場でも
“あそこがゆるいんだって？”と敬遠され、パートナーが見つからずさびしい思いをしていたようだ。彼の気持ちに配慮するよう私が市側と交渉中だったのに、力及ばずこんな結果に…」
と、目頭をおさえながら語る。
ひこにゃんさんいじめの張本人と目されるみうらじゅん氏は、自殺の報にうろたえつつ、
「傷つける意図はなかったのだが…」
と責任を全面否定している。県警は自殺教唆の疑いもあるとして慎重に調べを進めてゆく方針だ。
住所：ねはん
職業：プロ右翼市民
私が早く、気づいていれば…
ひこにゃん殿、極楽にて私の愛を…
戦国時代の武将は私のように男色をたしなみとしていたが、
ひこにゃん殿は400年ほどこのたしなみを続けていらっしゃったとは…
追伸
ニャツ烈様、代わりにマスコットになっていただくのはいかがでしょうか。
住所：二次元
職業：プロ左翼市民
井伊の赤備えも山県家のパクリだし、彦根城太鼓門も佐和山城櫓門からの強奪。
知的財産権がゆるゆるなのは井伊の伝統ってコトで。
＞カブトの角を尻に突っ込み、血を流して倒れていた。
そんなネタが！ヤマジュン先生やBabylonに教えてあげなくちゃっと。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
これは事故死か殺人か傷害致死の可能性も高いと思います。
一人で尻に突っ込んで自慰の最中に誤って腸壁を破ってしまったか、もしくはパートナーと肛門拡張プレイ最中の事故か、もしくは暴行殺人の可能性もあります。
相撲部屋事件の例など、日本の警察は殺人事件を自殺や病死として処理する事は日常茶飯事なので、自殺と断定せずに、慎重深く調査すべきではないでしょうか。
謀略、陰謀の可能性も考えるべきでしょう。
＞ニャツ烈様、代わりにマスコットに
主幹と美女だけの社交場を、ハッテン場にしないでください。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
ニャツ烈様は、見る人すれ違う人がみな溜息をつくほどの美少女という説がある。安心されよ。
住所：白亜の館
職業：僭称大統領
＞尻に
Ouch!!!!!!!!!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
住所：高木農園
職業：静怒猫
ニャにか主幹さんの猛烈な悪意を感じる記事ですニャ。彦根のひこにゃんさんと彦根藩の赤備えといえば勇猛果敢さで世に名高い武人、武猫の誇り。
その誉れをニャンという捏造記事で貶めようというおつもりなのか。
これは戦国時代より伝わったニャン術を駆使して一戦を交えますかニャ。
臨・兵・闘・者・皆・陣・列・在・前 七年殺しニャ！
あ、主幹さんが逆に喜んでる。。。。ニャ！近寄るでニャい！この隠れ受けの（以下表現が個人の性癖を罵倒するものなので削除）
住所：ねはん
職業：烏賊
ニャツ烈な愛読者様、
青竹踏み、です(違)。
諸悪の根源はみうらじゅん氏ですか…
みうらじゅん氏が、假屋崎氏もどきになるまで兜の角を(以下省略)
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
＞３島由紀夫
あんたはネコでしょ！
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
未確認情報によると犯人は
おしりかじり虫らしい。
住所：靖国神社
職業：プロ右翼市民
よいこのためのボーガスニュースではなかったのでしょうか。美しい国を建設するための。
「兜のツノを尻の穴に突っ込んで」などという団鬼六もどきの、なまなましい、描写は、教育上許せません。
住所：ニュースJAPAN
職業：櫻井よしこ
>団鬼六もどきの、
団氏は彦根出身なので問題ないのでは？
ひこにゃんさんがゆるきゃらになったのは、ビール瓶で、リンチにあったせいらしい。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
ひこにゃん氏のライバルしまさこにゃん氏は、「おいらには関係のニャいこと！」と疑惑の関与を否定しておるようで。
モーホーさんの薔薇な世界と腐女子さんのＢＬな世界の違いというのは、やはり肉欲と精神欲であり、「うほっ いい男。 やらないか！」と「色恋」との違いでありますかな。
某瓦斯男性読者には、「まむこのゆるいほうがイヤだにょ！」と書く御仁がいらっしゃるのでは？
住所：高木農園
職業：瞑想猫
おや、ここのところ快調に飛ばしてたツケがまわりましたかニャ？ついに一日ネタがあいてしまいましたニャ。
それともアルファブロガー・アワードの徳力さんに「なんて下品な記事を書くんですか！？うちの賞の品位を落さないでください！！」と角うを突っ込まれ・・・もとい角出して怒られましたかニャ？
しょうがありませんニャ。他のブログ見に行きましょうニャ。あら、美保純さんがNintendo DSのソフト買ったそうですニャ。
いいニャあってゆーか純さんちDSか。美保先生～、農園のマシンもそろそろ買い換えましょうニャ。いつまでもピーチ姫助ける為ＡボタンＢボタンじゃさすがにあきますニャ。
この前も農園の南のお家に飼われてる美ネコのユキちゃんを「うちにもＦＦ３あるから一緒に遊びましょうニャ」って誘って遊ぼうとしたら、ＲＯＭカセットのメモリがぶっとんでましたニャ。。。
はみこんはさすがにもう任天堂さんがサポート打ち切っちゃったし（涙）。
それにほら、偏向ｻﾖ某瓦斯新聞の報道だと、ＤＳは修理に出すと好きニャ人が実際に送られてくるとか。
http://bogusne.ws/article/65744138.html
あれ？美保先生ニャンですかその手に持ったバットは！？え？ボクの名前を「キアヌ」に改名して怪我をさせ、田宮ワンニャン病院に送り返せば本物のキアヌ･リーブスが農園に来るかもしれニャい？？
ニャ・ニャンて残酷なこと言い出すんでかニャ！鬼ニャ！美保先生は鬼ニャ！ちょっとくらい美保純さんブログをＲＳＳ購読してるくらいでボクを折檻しようだニャンて・・・。
冗談？某瓦斯の新ネタがあがらなくて暇だから、からかっただけ？美保先生・・・、お言葉ですが目が完全にマジでしたニャ・・・。
住所：ねはん
職業：烏賊
＞ニャツ烈な愛読者様
ニャツ烈な愛読者様が中年以上の女性にこだわるという事実は、近未来に予想される『お婆さんを膝枕に眠る猫』という、情緒溢れる風景を実現したいと言う猫族の美学に基づく物なのですね…
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
高（Pi～）クリニックはひこにゃんのショジョ穴再生手術をしてやらんかったんか？
冷たいのう。
住所：白亜の館
職業：僭称大統領
＞ひこにゃんのショジョ穴再生手術
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
Asshole! Asshole!
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
ニャツ烈殿、そのバットは「エスカリボルグ」では?
もしかすると、ニャツ烈殿もまた「すべての女性が12歳体型で不老不死になる薬」を開発にかかわっておられるのであろうか。
ちなみにアニメ第2期は通称「DS」だとか。ここにも関連性が見受けられる。
職業：童貞
どんだけ深く刺したんでしょうねぇ。
面白いんだけど
＞“あそこがゆるいんだって？”
じゃなくて
“あそこもゆるいんだって？”
にした方がいい
それだけで面白さが3倍になる
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