アメリカ航空宇宙局（NASA）は、これまでの常識をくつがえす
「ヒソで成長するまったく新種の生物」
を発見したことを明らかにした。米科学誌サイエンス（電子版）に2日付けで発表されたもの。
従来の生物学では、リンなどの必須元素のないところでは生物は生まれないというのが常識だった。しかし、NASAが発見し命名した「ルーマー・デマーレンシス」は、猛毒のヒソを大量に摂取することで成長するという。
実験では、ルーマーを栄養のない培地に置き、
「あそこの旦那さん、昼間も家にいるのよ。リストラね」
「あそこの息子さん、30過ぎなのにアニメ見てるのよ。童貞に違いないわ」
などとヒソヒソ話を与えたところ、急激に成長し独り歩きまでするようになった。
NASAは、ルーマーの存在を「必須元素のない極限状況下でも、生物が存在しうる証拠」として、地球外生命体が存在する可能性を示唆しつつ、宇宙探査の在り方の見直しを検討しはじめた。いっぽう、ルーマーの寿命が75日と短い点に着目する専門家は「地球の外が生命にとって厳しい環境なのは変わらない事実」と指摘している。
住所：名古屋県
職業：自室警備員
あいかわらず素晴らしい記事ですね。ご近所（現在はコミュニティということばで正当化されがち）にヒソヒソと陰口をきかれたのだろう主幹のヒソウ感が如実に伺われます。
4th kindも観たとこで、NASAの発表と聞いて、期待しまくっていたのだが・・・
ええい、NASAは、イトカワの破片を持ち帰ったJAXAの下部組織になるか、隠してる宇宙人の情報を公表するまでゆるさん。
twitterとかみていると、思った人が多そうだな。
主幹、今回は苦しい。苦しすぎますよ。
住所：おうち
職業：工作員
もしやとは思うが、
まさか
まさか…
ヒソの噂も75日…？
そういう効率の悪いものは利用価値が低いですね。デマは良くない。
例えば「南京事件に関しては未だ論争中である」と言うとか。
確かに論争はしてる(政治的に)ので、歴史事実としては全く確定済みという真相を上手く誤魔化し、誤った認識を植え付け放題。
そのまま何年も繰り返すと、さも既成事実のように印象付けられます。
やはり「本当のことを使って嘘をつく」のが一番です。バレても言い逃れやすいし。
住所：北韓国
職業：軍事演習
ヒソと言えば昔は邪魔な野郎を毒殺するのによく使用されたものだが、今や高度資本主義社会に不必要な人間を社会的に抹殺しつつ自らは成長する機能を身に着けるに至ったとは、実に感慨深い。
住所：ロシア
職業：「悲愴」作曲家
ヒソヒソ話を餌にした「ルーマー」はやっぱり猛毒のような気がしますが。
やはり「まともな生物」はリンとしていなければいけないのでせう（大きなお世話だ）。
住所：不定
職業：工作員
某内部告発サイトの主宰者は、主に国や企業が排出するいかがわしい「ヒソ」を摂取することにより、未来永劫名を変え姿を変え生きることができるらしいとのこと。
しかし、某親睦クラブ団体という殻に囲まれてぬくぬくと太った、検察や官僚の餌付けによって与えられる「ヒソ」を大量摂取する存在は、近いうちに大量絶滅が予測されるらしいとのこと。
結論：やはり野生動物は種類のいかんを問わず強い
（ﾅﾝﾉｺｯﾁｬw）
職業：カレーショップ(ハヤシもあるでよ)
＞独り歩き
警備でも始めたんでしょうか。培地限定で。
ヒソは実態の無い幻聴じゃないかなって今は思います。
あの時それに気づいていれば、秋葉原であんなことはしなかったのに・・・
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
最近ではルーマーの培養に電脳空間が使われることも多いですな。で、それを真に受けたヒマな自室警備員兼パラサイト、おっと真実を知ろうという知識欲旺盛な人間が電凸したり、さらには真に受けた報道機関が、デムパを拡散するという事態に陥るケースも少なからずあるわけで。
もう少しリテラシーを身につけたほうがいいようですな。
住所：満洲
職業：参謀
>「あそこの息子さん、30過ぎなのにアニメ見てるのよ。童貞に違いないわ」
かわいいタイプの若奥さんたちにこんなことを言われてしまうと、ついゾクゾクっとしてしまい、ボクのルーマーが急激に成長してしまい独り立ちしてしまうわけですね
普通は成長に有害と思われていたヒソが、成長のもとになっているという大発見
よくわかります
住所：ねはん
職業：工作員
>「あそこの息子さん、30過ぎなのにアニメ見てるのよ。童貞に違いないわ」
そういえばダウと。
30過ぎの男が、童貞であるかどうかなんて気にする女性は地球上にはいない。
「愛」の反対は「無関心」なのですから。
…いや、砒素で育つ種類の女性は知らんが。
住所：東京都
職業：ネット右翼
さすがのボーガスコメンテーターも理系ネタは苦手なのか？
つまり、砒素ミルクで育てた赤ん坊は、宇宙空間でも生きていけるって話ですよ。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
美しき国では、ひそ人間を国家元首としていた。数十年ほど前の話である。
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
向かいのお兼さん（戦後初代栃木小町）が庭の紫蘇ォ虫が喰っちまったって言ってたけんど、こいつの仕業だったんだべな！
住所：四次元
ネットで世界を語っていると、ヒソならぬウソで自己が肥大化するそうですが、本当でしょうか。
ネットに本当の家族があると思っていました。
結局、幻想でしたけど。
ヒソがヒソが
住所：皇居
職業：ニート
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bogusnewsの電子書籍化、もしくはMP3ダウンロード化はまだですか？
・人の噂や思い込みで成長
・生きているのは毎年75日程度
この生物の正体は主幹の大嫌いなｱｶいヒゲ爺さんでは？
住所：満洲
職業：参謀
>bogusnewsの電子書籍化、もしくはMP3ダウンロード化はまだですか？
ちょっと待ってて！今主幹と小人さんたちが羊皮紙に書き写して写本にしてるから
出来次第イタリア北部の修道院のアルシーヴに収蔵され、すべての謎を解き明かすカギになる予定だから
（薔薇の名前？）
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
ヒソかに寧鎮とEKIBENするNYO！
住所：隔離病棟
職業：馬占山ウィルス感染者
「ヒソかに」なんて馬大人らしくないNYO！社長ヒソとオフィスでおおっぴらにEKIBENするNYO！
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
そういえば我が国には「いひ」で成長どころかそのものになった企業も存在するではないか。
「いひ」がどのような物質か不明ではあるが。
元ヒソと再婚した閣僚が出たとの情報があるが、やはりＥＫＩＢＥＮがとりもった仲なのであろうか。
砒素カレーならぬグリコワンタッチカレーのＣＭで榊原郁恵ちゃんが「あとは愛情入れるだけ〜愛情っ（←鍋に声かけ）」とかやってましたから、お鍋に汚いヒソヒソを聞かせて証拠の残らない水伝完全犯罪カレーが作れるかも知んない。
住所：おうち
職業：工作員
そういえばありましたね。
「やだぁ、ヒ素はスパイスに含まれないのぉ？ やーねー」（ここで鍋が臨界に達し蒼い光を放ちながら爆発する音）
…的な、超料理下手属性ドジッ子主婦の巻き起こす、ドキドキビジュアル４コマ漫画みたいな騒動が…
…え？
少なくとも、ドキドキビジュアル部分は撤回しろって？
いや普通にドキドキするだろ。
怖くて。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞砒素ミルクで育てた赤ん坊は、宇宙空間でも生きていけるって話
つまり、砒素ミルクを販売した森永乳業スゲー！！ってことですか？（絶対違う
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
与党議員になれば「砒素がやりました。私は知りません」の使用権が与えられるのであろうか。
>砒素がやりました
「砒素でやりました」という連中はいまさら使用権など気にしないであろう。
住所：ねはん
職業：工作員
不正は政治家本人がやったのか砒素がやったのかでだいぶ違ってくるらしいのに、政治そのものは誰がやってもあんまり変わらないんだよなあ。
ヒソ君…私は今、ν速+にm9(^д^)ﾐﾝｽﾌﾟｷﾞｬｰと書き込んでいるのだよ。
私の一番楽しい時間をそんなソースも無い噂話で邪魔しないでくれ給え。
住所：ねはん
職業：工作員
「…ガミラスに下品な男は不要だ。」
ここが地球でよかったですね。
この※欄の面々はたぶんほとんど落とさ（床に穴が開く音）ｱｯｰ
住所：ウガンダ共和国
職業：調理師
どうして噂は駆除しづらいのかと疑問に思っていたのですが、75日しか生存できないため環境に適応できる強靭な噂が残ってしまうためだったのですね。
会社でホモ説が流れるほどの非モテライフを過ごしていると、普通って何だろう？と疑問に思うことしきりです。
住所：ねはん
職業：工作員
＞会社でホモ説が流れるほど
とりあえず人目の有るところで手近な女性に告りまくってたら、その結果に関係なく、そんな噂は消し飛びますよ。
やつらは単純です。
ただ、副作用としてリア充を発症しいずれ爆発するかもしれませんが。
住所：不定
職業：工作員
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住所：靖国神社
職業：日本会議シンパ
更新がない。クリスマステロを企画しているのだろうか。
住所：ねはん
職業：工作員
それではクリスマスの存在を認めることになるのではないか？
実効支配している側は領土問題など存在しないという立場を取るのが通例だ。
さてそこで12月の情報空間を実効支配するのはクリスマスが「ある」側か「なかった」側かというと…
正当化されがち）にヒソヒソと陰口をきかれたのだろう主
住所：シベリア
職業：ボルシェビキ
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住所：太陽系
職業：めがねっ娘
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勃起促進:http://www.kanpocom.com/JingLiJi/qianlixian.html
住所：不定
職業：工作員
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