米アップルはスマートフォン「iPhone 4」のホワイトモデルの発売時期をまたも延期し、「来春予定」に変更した。原因について同社は公表を控えているが、識者の分析により
「iPhoneがブラック企業に製造されており、白い部材が手に入らないため」
らしいことがわかってきた。
iPhone 4ホワイトモデルは当初はブラックモデルと同時に6月発売予定だったものの、12月に延期。このたびさらに来春へと予定が変更となった。アップル側は「部材を調達しきれなかったため」と説明しているが、黒い部材が調達できているのに白はダメというのがふにおちず、ナゾとされてきた。
今回弊紙は独自に識者へ取材を敢行。そのナゾについて解説を求めたところ、
「iPhoneのメーカーがブラック企業であるため、白い部材が調達できないのです」
という驚くべき事実を明らかにしてくれた。なんとiPhoneのメーカーは
- 下請けに激安価格で発注し、極端な低賃金で労働者を搾取する
- 製品に不具合があってもとぼける
- サポートが悪い
など、真っ黒けなブラック企業だというのだ。
このため、ホワイトモデル組み立てに必要な部材が納入されても次々に真っ黒に染まってしまい、不足が解消できず発売延期となっている。最悪なのはブラック企業“本人”にはブラックだという意識がなく原因がつかめないため、いつまでたっても事態が解決しないこと。アップル信者の林信夫氏も
「iPhoneメーカーは革新的プロダクトで電子コンテンツ流通だけでなく企業倫理も変革しようとしている」
と前向きな評価をするばかりなだけに、前途は多難そうだ。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
黒子さんでも白子さんでもEKIBENさしてくれる寧鎮はサラリンサラリンサラサラリン♪だNYO！
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
ロゼッタ洗顔パスタの事だったNYO！ >黒子さんvs白子さん
住所：不定
職業：工作員
ブラックでないIT企業なんかあるのか
住所：上海慢博
職業：腐血痔
黒いアップルでも白いアップルでもレア・アースを使ってくれる企業は良い企業だ、と新興ブラック国家が談話を出しております。
そのアップルと、日本でつるんでるソフトバンクが、ホワイトプランとか、白いお父さん犬とか、ロゴとか、白にこだわるのは、ブラックを隠すためだったのですね。
住所：おうち
職業：工作員
>新興ブラック国家
なぜかみんな忘れているようだが、そもそも、あの国は赤いハズだが。
もしかして思い出したらマズい事実？
バリバリの資本主義国家どもが事経済力で共産主義国家の後塵を拝しているとか、あってはならない事実？
住所：栃木県
職業：コンドーム栽培
清貞や清貞。白無垢のお嫁さんまだかのう。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
「白物」家電を出している家電メーカーの大半は、まっ黒か半分以上ブラックだったりするのだが、よほど肝がすわっているのか鈍感なのかどっちなんだろうか？
真っ黒い腹から、白い液体が出るのはなぜでしょうか。
住所：ブラック企業の軒下
職業：てるてる坊主（のようにみえるモノ）
断固抗議する。ブラック＝悪、ホワイト＝善などというステレオタイプは「黒人差別をなくす会」が許しても私が許さない。だいたい自分が真っ白けだなどというやつは大体胡散臭いし悪いのはホワイトエンジェルズの方だったと平○伸二先生もおっしゃっている。当該企業においてはこれからも自信を持って暗黒の道をすすんでいただきたい（あれ？
主幹、洗っても洗ってもこの血塗られた手が白くならないの。ロゼッタ洗顔パスタも、一度と言わずぜひニード洗粉も、ｱﾀｼの血塗られた（←二度目）運命を救わない…っ！
主幹、責任とって結婚して。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：ネット右翼
ぷぷ！また、中国か…。薄汚れた共産主義の国に「ホワイト」なんてありえないだろ！
プギャー！！（AA略）
＞FOXCORNは台湾系ですが…。
うぐ！親日台湾を愚弄するボーガス主幹はサヨクーっ！民主党工作員っ！売国奴っ！！
ちなみに、ポケモンB&Wは黒の方が売れているそうな。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
純白は純潔でなければ使用できない。主幹殿は問題なかろうが、そのような資格のある者はごく限られると予想される。受注生産が妥当ではなかろうか。
職業：Dr.林
自覚がないのが統合失調症の特徴です。
まさかとは思いますが、そのブラック企業というのは、主幹の想像上の存在にすぎないのではないでしょうか？
いつものようにハゲCEOからのデムパを受信しました。
—
やあ極東の友人(･∀･)君、残念なことに白iPnoneは4をすっとばして次世代機種まで待ってもらったほうがよさそうだ。
下請けどもが発注の色と違う小汚い奴を納めてきてね。こんなもん売ったらわが林檎帝国の股間ちゃうちゃうコケンにかかわるという判断だ。
ご存知のようにワタシは金にうるさいだけでなく、デザインとブランドのステータス維持にはとことんこだわるからね。
シモジモの信者どもには来年の上半期まではせいぜいキリキリ働いて、白iPhone５が買えるように金をためておくよう伝えてくれたまえ。
発売の折には別にハゲ仲間だと勝手になついてくる「彼」に気兼ねすることはない。是非とも個人輸入で直接SIMロック・フリーの製品をうちから一括払いで買うことをお勧めしておくよ。
ときに本題だが、キミの国のあの熱狂的なワタシのファンの機関紙・・・なんといったかな、そうそう某瓦斯新聞。あそこはなぜ2010年 10 / 30日付け記事で普通のニュースなんか配信しちゃってるのかね？
すちーぶ
—
以上実際のデムパテキストメッセージ一行
「F*ck You」
を意訳いたしました。
(･∀･)５ﾊ夏前ﾗｼｰﾖ。
製品の表面に黒い粒が見られる場合がございますが、品質には問題ございませんので安心してお召し上がりください。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
本当は、ホワイトモデルは、既に発売されていて、それが黒く見えるのは、主幹の心がドス黒い為だ、と云うオチも考えられるのでは無いだろうか？
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
よっく思い出せねんだけどあと半年もすっと確っしかホワイトデとかなんとか、イケネイケネ触れっちゃいけね話題だったな、ゴメンなして！
だいたい、カラーがブラックとホワイトとか何年前だっつか古いんスよ。次のiPhoneはブロッサムとマリンにしてほしいですね。
住所：ねはん
職業：工作員
もしかして、機能とか野望とか色々詰め込みすぎて光をも抜け出せなくなり、黒く見えてるだけかもしれん…
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
次期iPhoneは「ぶらっく」の強化版が投入されるとの未確認生…、未確認情報を入手した。計3種類の形態を持つという。
「俺はAppleの子! iPhoneぶらっくRX!」
私ども愛国者にとっては白は赤白のダンダラ模様に見えます。見えなければ加工（捏造）します。
黒については街宣車メソッドを応用しオヤジギャグレベルの漢字をムリクリあてることで愛国的iphonに致します。カスタマイズ（捏造）はお手のものです。
箸がころがっても愛国思想に結びつける。それこそが我らが神、哀酷先生のゴタク宣であります。
おんや～？
ちゃんとiPhone4ホワイト発売されてるよ
見かけからブラックだと勘違いされているかもしれないが
ほらほらiPhone4モーリス•ホワイト
地球上の電波は逃しても、宇宙のファンタジーやデムパはよくキャッチするぞ
チャッチャラララ、チャ、チャラッチャチャ♬（以下イントロ続くので自粛）
住所：ウガンダ共和国
職業：調理師
＞宇宙のファンタジーやデムパはよくキャッチするぞ
アフロヘアーでキメていればソウルトレインで違う世界にも行けそうですね。
最近、深夜のテレビショッピングで再発売してた理由がスッキリしました。
住所：四次元
趙高いわく、
「黒」を「新しい時代の白」と言い通せばいいのではないですか？
とのこと。
ときに主幹はキュアブラックとキュアホワイト、どちらがお好み？
ｱﾀｼはブラック派だけど、主幹色に染まりたい今日この頃（←染まりません）
ブラックとかホワイトとか、どうでもいいことね。
日中友好、世界平和の象徴である熊猫みるよろし。
白と黒が調和してるからとても可愛いあるよ。
私とおにいちゃんも白と黒だからとても上手くいってとても仲いいあるよ。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
なるほど。つまり、「iPhone太極(たいちー)もでる」が求められているとみた。回転させると「べんはむの独楽」効果により発生する「まーぶるすくりゅー」を放つことも可能であろう。
住所：おうち
職業：工作員
みんなブラックだなあ。
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住所：皇居
職業：童貞
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