「森にいる女の子のようなファッションをする女性」を指す「森ガール」が流行したことは記憶に新しいが、森の次は谷と言わんばかり、こんどは
「谷系女子」
がブームだという。森から谷へと移る流行のゆくえを追った─。
都内在住の岸谷樹里さん（16）。自他共に認める谷系女子のひとりだ。学校で仲間が進路に悩んで今ひとつ盛り上がりに欠けるとき、落ち込む友だちの悩みを聞いているとき、さっと手を突き出して
「ガチョーン！」
と奇声を上げる。これだけで場が和み、「そのうちなんとかなるだろう」という気分になってしまうという。
同様の谷系女子は、殺伐とする学校だけでなく不況に悩む職場などでも続々と増えており、「業績悪化が気にならなくなった」「円高も悪いことばかりじゃないと思えた」など、ガチョーンパワーを発揮して世の中をほんのり明るくしているという。
前出の樹里さんは、
「ガチョーンするとウチらみんな救われる気がする。こんな暗い時代だからこそ谷系やっててよかったと思う。誰が考えたワザだかわかんないけど偉大だよねー」
と語る。なお、ガチョーンについては「“ガチョン”だ」とする流派もあるとのことで注意が必要だ。
bogusnewsを読んでいると「私と小沢先生の関係を、ネタにしてくれたのかぁ…」と思ったら、全然違うので、絶望しました！
次のオリンピックは「bogus主幹のせいで負けた」と公言します…。それまで待っていてくださいね（はあと）。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
なお、男も女も犯して殺す谷亮子系女子や、ネパールの山奥で、計算尺を使って宇宙船の軌道計算をやる谷甲州系女子も流行中との事。
単に「ガチョーン」と叫ぶだけでなく、
*胸にはっきりとした谷間がある
*尺八でけでなくトロンボーンも吹ける
のが正当な谷系女子だとされています。
住所：四次元
谷間系女子？
乳より尻を、尻より太ももを
*誤植のお知らせ
誤）でけでなく
正）だけでなく
住所：風邪の谷
職業：谷間の百合系
なお在○会の桜○氏は「ガチョ～ン」は韓国・朝鮮系の人々を祓う愛国的呪文であり谷氏の死はサヨク・在日の陰謀だと主張。ガイキチも来るところまできたようだ。
（谷啓さんの御冥福を心からお祈りします。楽しい時間をありがとうございました）。
「そのうちなんとかなるだろう」と、いうのは「植木系女子」じゃないだろうか？
森、谷ときたら植木だね。
ところで、植物の肥料を買ったら、説明書きに「植木等に最適」と書いてあって、笑った事があった。
＞手を突き出し
谷啓さん曰く、ガチョーンの極意は、「押し」ではなく「引き」だそうな。
「ガ」で手を前に出し、「チョン」で出した手をゆっくり引くのが正しいそうな。
ガッチョーン、じゃなかった合掌。
>極意
パパの友人が「ガッで宇宙の森羅万象を掴み取り、チョーンでビッグバンの如く放出する」とゆってたので流派が異なるようだわ。奥が深い。
動物園のライオンが「子育てに必須の千仭の谷が欲しい」と飼育係にガチョーンでゼスチャーを送る…とゆう４コマを、去年の今ごろ谷底に落ちて亡くなった漫画家が描いてたわね。ｶﾞｯｼｮｰﾝ
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
> 森、谷ときたら植木
「ごみを木に変える能力」「もっぷに摑を加える能力」「ぷらすをあにめ化する能力」のあれであるな。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
寧鎮を腰の上に載せて「雅潮～ん」と烏賊せることかNYO!(合掌) #ekiben #gachoh_n
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
ガチョーンの正体はアイアンクロー（脳天締め）という必殺技です。
米国のコーラン燃やすとか言ってる腐れキリスト教牧師相手に決めるのが正しい使い方ですよ。
住所：海外(択捉島)
職業：KGB
地球侵略の手始めにまず幼稚園、でおなじみのショッカーです。
在○会がわれわれの芸風をパクって京都の小学生相手に大立ち回りを演じてくれたのもつかの間、徳島では電話中の女性事務員相手に拡声器でがなり立てるという高橋がなりもびっくりの飛び道具を披露してくれました。まさかおんなこどもの王道で来るとは。
総統閣下があまりにもあんまりなわび住まいをしているのも伊達や酔狂じゃありませんね、こりゃ。ビバ木造アパート。
で、こんどは谷啓氏が朝鮮人だとかほざいています（ガチョン＝「我朝鮮人」）。葬儀の日時に合わせて抗議デモも企画されている模様。はあ、なんだかなあ。デブゆえの青春障害者に愛のガチョ～ンを。
谷系女子と云うから、別に美少女でも無いのに“ヤ〇ラちゃん”とか言われても臆する事の無かった方を語源とした、其の昔、晴海のＣ館に沢山居た様な方々の事を云うのかと思ってしまいました…。
(今宵、此の記事をきちんと抑えて下さった主幹に一生憑いて逝きます！)
追伸、女子厨学二年生様
自分の聞いた流派ですと｢ガッ！｣で面前の空間を掴み｢チョーーーーン!!｣で引き寄せ周囲を真空状態にする事に拠って、周りの人間を｢ハラホロヒレハレ｣状態にすると云うものでした。
住所：ちたま
職業：童貞
ダニーケイ ってとっくの昔に亡くなってると思ったが。
住所：不定
職業：工作員
ぬるぽ。
ガッ
ガチョンガチョンガチョンガチョンいって歩いてくる女子高生は人間ではなくロボット、いやアンドロイドで、お父さんはマッドサイエンティストだな
たぶん
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
おめぇさん達、花ぁ忘れちゃいけねぇな、サクラとイヌもな、あっヤスゥどうすっぺ？
キャッツも遠くなりにけりだんべなぁ！
みなさんのご冥福さお祈りすっぺ！
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞谷系女子
てっきりタワラちゃんのダンナのように、野球はともかく、実生活での選球眼が疑われる女子のことかと・・・いや、なんでもない。
（谷啓さんにガチョーン、じゃなかった合掌。）
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
そういえば、コントでの銅像ギャグが良く似合う“ハナ系女子”の登場はあるのだろうか・・・？
住所：海外(北海道)
職業：烏賊
えっ？ お呼びじゃない？
こりゃまた失礼しました・・・。
住所：低狂大病院
職業：耐性不足
君たちはシャボン玉ホリデーを見たことはあるのか？
俺はある。
年齢に関する質問には答えぬ。
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
↑ 威張んなっ！
ワッチなんざ大人の漫画さ見てっぞ！
年ィ？安政生まれの年金暮らしよ、文句あっか？
住所：四次元
森ガール→森(喜朗)ファン
谷系女子→谷(垣)ファン
その昔勤め先で普段から真面目で仕事のミスなんかしなさそうな物静か（ぶっちゃけ地味）な女の子がありえないミスをした。その時彼女は小さな声で
「ｶﾞﾁｮ～ﾝ」
とつぶやいた。おまけに胸のあたりで小さく手まで動かして。なんでも彼女のお父さんが昔からよくやっていてそれがうつってしまったらしい。
同僚女性社員は皆
「なにそれ」
「ふるすぎー」
「ウエキ？ウエキ？」
などとピントのはずれたことを口々に言っていたが、男性社員は全員一斉に目を輝かせたのは言うまでもない。
その後彼女は同じビル内の別の企業のオフィスの結構なイケメンと結婚–＞寿退社となった。女性社員は一様に「なんで？なんであんな地味な子が？？」といぶかったが、男性社員は「あのイケメン、ただのやさ男かと思ったら見る目は確かなようだ」とささやきあった。
噂では結婚後出産を経ても彼女の体系は崩れず、地味だった容貌も年齢を重ねるごとに美しさを増し、同期の女性の間で「ミラクル」と呼ばれているという。
ｶﾞﾁｮ～ﾝの効用をあなどってはならないという事例である。
(・∀・)ﾏｼﾞﾃﾞ実話
×安政生まれの年金暮らし
○安政生まれの親の死体を押入れに隠して親の年金で暮らし
老子曰く
「谷神不死。是謂玄牝。玄牝之門、是謂天地根。緜緜若存、用之不勤。」
訳：
谷の神は不死身である。それを玄妙なる牝と言う。玄妙なる牝の陰門を、天地の根源という。ずっと続いて存在し続けているようであるが、いくら働いても尽き果ててしまうことはない。
岩波文庫 蜂屋邦夫訳注「老子」によれば、「谷神」とは谷に宿る神のことで、女性器を暗示していると言います。
谷系女子…ｺﾞｸﾘｯ
谷系女子が不気味の谷を越えたのか
オリエント工業のみぞ知る。
ねえ、知ってる？
ライオンのいる辺りって、谷はあんまり無いんだよ。
主幹、ご愁傷さまです。
>アテネ五輪柔道銀メダリストで総合格闘家の泉浩（２８）と、女優の末永遥（２４）が交際していることが１２日、分かった。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>女優の末永遥（２４）が交際していることが
馬鹿馬鹿しい。
偽装交際で、本当は、ボウケンイエローの中の人と百合ん百合んな関係に有る事は明らかだ。
長 勇さん必死だな
泉ひろしと言えば当然ながら、吉本新喜劇の名脇役しか思い浮かばない。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞長閣下
戦隊の百合ん百合ん関係といえば、やはりジャスミン＆ウメコでは？
谷啓さん死去
「ハナ肇とクレイジーキャッツ」のメンバーとして活躍し、「ガチョーン」「ビローン」「谷だぁ！」などのギャグで人気があった谷啓さんが11日、脳挫傷のため東京都内の病院で亡くなりました。78歳でした。
心よりご冥福をお祈り致します。
***♪どうしてタニケイ♪
タニケイタニケイ どうしてタニケイ
タニケイタニケイ どうしてタニケイ
きみはやさしい 人気者
この世にまれな いい男
とつぜん とつぜん どうしてタニケイ
かなしく せつなく どうしてタニケイ
タニケイタニケイ どうしてタニケイ
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少しとぼけた …
＞余分な脂肪だ
けを減らしていきます。
つまり「余分な脂肪だ。毛を減らしていきます。」の意と読める。毛が抜けるのは確実と見てよかろう。
住所：名古屋県
職業：童貞
住所：皇居
職業：デカブリスト
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