とんでもないサセ子がやってきた…！ 十羽野署は14日、人が行き交う路上で堂々と淫乱な行為にふけった女性を、公然猥褻の容疑で逮捕した。容疑者は「本当の傘の使い方をしただけ」と犯行を否認しているという。
逮捕されたのは同署管内の十羽野高校に通うAヶ崎N々容疑者（18）。調べによるとAヶ崎容疑者は雨の降りしきる同日、ゆきずりの男性と傘を横にさしただけで他の方向からは丸見えな状態にも関わらず、思うさま淫行にふけっていた疑いがもたれている。
Aヶ崎容疑者は
「淫行なんてしてない。傘の本当の使い方をしていただけ」
などと言い訳するばかりで、まったく反省するようすを見せていないという。しかし、目撃者によればAヶ崎容疑者は「すこし濡れちゃった」などと話していたとのことで、同署はこれを淫行のあった明らかな証拠と見ている。
捜査員らはDSのスタイラスや、時には積極的に唇で責め立てて容疑者の取り調べをおこなっているが、なかなか自白するきざしを見せないとのこと。刑事のひとりは「容疑者は中古のビッチであり、われわれを騙していた。この罪は許さない。絶対にだ」と、容疑者を極刑に追い込む意気込みをあらわにしていた。
住所：不定
職業：工作員
逆ギレ起こしてますね主幹（苦笑
主幹、二次元で裏切られたからって、幼女に走ったりしないでくださいね。
なんか、かんなぎのときも、このような記事を見たような気がする。
パソコンだけが友達のﾓﾔｼﾈﾄｳﾖ君がいつまでも子供じみた夢を見ているうちに、女の子達は成人前にあらゆる快楽を味わいつくしているのよ。
アラフォーになったﾓﾔｼﾈﾄｳﾖ君が子供の夢を捨ててソープに行った時、既に彼はEDになっていて笑われて帰ってくるというのが現実なのよね。
犀の角のようにただ独り歩め
ごめん。その相手俺だわ。
住所：人生相談
ソープに行け！
住所：雨の西麻布
職業：蛇の目のおじさん（おかあさんは？）
んー、サセ子ちゃんはさすがに本当の傘がどんなものか知ってるのお。ワシの傘はどんな松茸にも負けず張りきっとるからの、今度そのお口で（以下あまりに下品につき削除）
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
え～いっ、このクソ主幹のケツメドヤロ奴が、折角イバラギネタで皆さん盛り上がってるつうのにクソ詰まんねぇのに替えやがって、テメェなんざナットの桶ェ飛び込んでヌルヌルに溺れたあげくに蒟蒻の角ォアタマァぶっけておっ死んじまえ！
A bit of bitch.
>犀の角のようにただ独り歩め
合掌
チーン（コ）
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
痔糖尿 砲糖尿
合掌
（粗）チ－ン
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
で、これで主幹は愛花や凛子に乗り換えるのかね？
雨雨降れ降れ寧々さんが～裸でお迎え嬉しいな～♪
ビッチビッチむっちむっちウッシッシ～♪
…これ何のネタだっけ。ボスボロット？
あと、広げてさせるのは傘屋の娘で、５つはさせるのは団子屋の娘。これ豆ね。
失意の主幹さまは、これからご当地ラブプラスで全国巡礼の旅ですね。
きっと名古屋県の名古屋嬢と出会えると思います。きんさんぎんさんが待っていますぞ。
住所：ウガンダ共和国
職業：調理師
このあと一時宿泊施設に入館するときにも傘を使ったテクニックを利用する予定が、志なかばでお縄となったようですね。
核の傘の下でこの世の春を謳歌している民族らしい、朗々とした傘の使い方ではありませんか！
栃木・大田原市は、極々僅かに子宮頸癌発症の確率を下げる（がアジュバントの急性ショック症状で稀に急死やギランバレー症候群に陥る）ワクチン接種を公費で義務付けた「サセ子または人パピロマウイルス保有男性が多い」と公言しちゃったも同然の『マジでありかよ？！』な地域ですが、この十羽野は大田原市の近くですか？
取り敢えず、寧寧さんは真面目に癌検診を受けた方が良いでしょう。
乳癌検察は素人が日常的に行った方が良いです。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
> 本当の傘の使い方
聖剣えくすきゃりばー傘であるな。「人としての波長が決して合わない」と言われているが、現代に使い手が存在するとは。
「わんわんさむわん」の八千代さんの刀とか、寧寧さんの傘とか、契約者なんですか？！
殺っちゃうんですかっ！？
主幹殿、悪い事は言わん。フィリピンに来たまえ。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
BITCH BITCH JAP JAP RAN RAN RAN♪
LIFT UP EKIBEN!! DANYO．
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
アフェリで紹介している姉ヶ崎寧々スティッククッションでありますが、当然主幹は所有していて、栗の花臭くorイカ臭くなっておるのでしょうな。（ヨダレ臭い程度で済んでおるのかもしれぬが）
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
はいはい。
「未婚なのに非処女なのは、ビッチの証拠」
と云う思考自体が、女性経験が皆無な証拠。
もうよし子（妙齢の女性ジャーナリスト）、百合子（幸福を実現する女性工作員）、綾子（妙齢の女性説教強盗）でラブプラスつくっちまえよ。10万個売る自身はあるぜ？
ちなみに、綾子は曽野綾子のことです。あしからず。
>10万個売る自身はある
赤線のない今の日本で、自分を売ってはいけない。売春で逮捕されます。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
ま、アレだ。
兆が一、主幹が結婚できたとしても、
「オレの嫁は、生涯、新品じゃないといけないんだ～～～っ!!」
とか意味不明な事を言い出して、結婚出来たにも関わず童貞のまま一生を終える、と云う摩訶不思議な事態が起きるであろう。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
やはり革命が必要だな。
売春を合法化し、赤線を復活させるのだ。
あとポルノの解禁。
児童ポルノ法は廃止。
大麻の合法化。
これで百年に一度の不景気は解消される。
大企業は経営黒字になり、失業者はいなくなるだろう。万歳！！
あ～革命したい！
住所：四次元
「傘の本当の使い方」
・取っ手の「Ｊ」字を後方から相手の股を通し、股間に引っ掛けるように一気に後方に引く
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
あいんすていん さん >
良く判らんが、ア(中略)ナルフ(中略)ック？
住所：昭和40年代
職業：小学生
あいんすていん博士が述べておられるのは、アナ（中略）ルではなくキャンタマに打撃を与える技であります。ちなみに本官の傘の取っ手はカエル君やアヒルちゃんの形なので、このような悪用は不可能であります。
この攻撃がクリティカルに決まると、男でなくなってしまう可能性があるのではないか？
住所：おうち
職業：ニート
> 「オレの嫁は、生涯、
> 新品じゃないといけ
> ないんだ～～～っ!!」
使う嫁、飾っとく嫁、保存用の嫁の3冊買っとけば大丈夫
証拠の少なさ、犯罪成因の曖昧さから不起訴になるかもしれませんね。
でも、検察診察会できっと「なんかよく知らないけど腹が立つ」という理由で、全会一致・起訴相当議決が出るのは間違いないでしょう。
やはり空気嫁の国ですから。
人 妻３人相手にしてきたけど、マジやっべぇな！！！！
ﾌｪﾗﾁｵ×ｱﾅﾙ×ﾃﾞｨｰﾌﾟｷｽの三点攻めで、オレ喘ぎまくりだっつの！！
しかも３人合わせて18万も貰えたぜぇぇぇ！！(ﾟ∀ﾟ)
http://lip.daizon.net/qtw04m4/
住所：四次元
職業：スペル星人
可哀想な主幹様…まさか二次元にまで裏切られるとは。
私のように12歳のオリキャラ幼女と脳内結婚していれば、このような悲劇は起きないのです。
全ては自分の心の中にある…
不出戸、知天下
不闚牖、見天道
其出弥遠、其知弥少
是以聖人、不行而知、不見而名、不為而成
(意味)
「道」と一体になった聖人は、出歩かなくても全てを知り、見なくてもすべてをわきまえ、何もしなくても全てを成し遂げる。
老子の言葉です。
三宅雪子のエロい車椅子記事をキボンヌ。
住所：おうち
職業：工作員
そもそも「核の傘」とか、実は存在しないんじゃなかったっけ？
上のスパムの投稿者名を
「飢えた主幹は野獣だな！」と空目し、業者も少しは頭使うようになったかと感心した私が愚かであったのか。
ここでせめて『三点攻め』を「スタイラス、指、舌」とでもしておけば少しは見直したのに。
(･∀･)出会えない系すぱむ業者ﾄ嘘にゅーす、ﾄﾞｯﾁｶﾞ悪質ｶ悩ﾑﾄｺﾀﾞﾈ
心の中で「寧々」と一体となった主幹は、出歩かなくても心の中で駅弁を続け、見なくても寧々の裸体のすべての部位を幻視し、何もしなくても日夜心の中で駅弁を全て成し遂げる。
老酒を飲み耽った者の言葉です。
>（・∀・）様
私はてっきりあの業者、その上の方の
>使う嫁、飾っとく嫁、保存用の嫁
に反応してドヒャッと出てきたものだとばかり…
しかし、3人もいながら使う1択という価値観は、やはりここの※欄とは異質。
住所：学術雑誌『ネイチン』
職業：古生物学愛好家
>使う嫁、飾っとく嫁、保存用の嫁
はるか昔、古生代バブル期に生息していたホモ・サピエンスの♀は「見せびらかし用の容姿の優れた♂」「婚姻を前提とした経済力のある♂」「言いなりになる都合のいい♂」を使い分けていたという学説が有力である。
やはり、傷心なんでしょうか？
どうぞ、世を儚まず、心を強く持って、早く帰って来て下さい！
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
> 長勇殿
世の中には、既婚者だが接吻未経験者の27歳自称魔法少女、なる存在があったという。
一方、主幹殿は冥王はーですの器となるべく…。
住所：おうち
職業：馬賊
本当の傘の使い方？
合コンに行く途中、上司に見つからないように開く人がいるんだって。前にテレビで見たよ。
>使う嫁、飾っとく嫁、保存用の嫁
「トレード用の嫁」がないではないか。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞「トレード用の嫁」がないではないか。
ぶっかけ用の嫁もあるとかないとか！？
すべて、「俺の嫁」ということで、よろしいか？
>傘の本当の使い方
傘に水をかけるとギシャーンと刃が飛び出してバシャーンと傘が閉じて傘をさしている奴が死ぬというのは007のどれであったろうか。
傘の正しい使い方…
やはり三八式歩兵銃様に見立てて軍事教練ではありますまいか？
因みに折り畳み傘の場合は角刈り･グラサンで凶悪犯と銃撃戦ですね！
> 容疑者を極刑に追い込む意気込み
それは警察じゃなくて裁判所がきめることでしょ…というツッコミがないが、ツッコミどころとしてあたりまえすぎて皆スルーしてるだけかな？
住所：靖国神社
職業：二千万特攻の司令官
「オレの息子で殺してやるぜ（もちろん、性的な意味で）」という意気込みではないかと愚考する。
大西閣下に賛同致します。
特に語尾の「絶対にだ」が童貞っぽいです。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
はぐれ宇宙刑事純情派氏>
どう云う妄想(例:代用監獄に監禁された容疑者が粗暴な警官に○×△)をオカズにしようと、主幹のプライバシーの問題では無いか？
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
大体、日本男児たる者、生涯の友とすべき男と穴(0文字略)兄弟になるのが普通では無いのか？
処女厨など、日本男児の風上にも置けぬ。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞長閣下
伝統文化を大切にする美しい国には、衆道が欠かせないということですかな？少なくともあれは、自称愛国保守が死守せんとしている夫婦同姓よりは、伝統と歴史があるそうですから。もっとも、安倍ちゃんとか平沼大先生とかが衆道好きかは、尻ちゃうちゃう知りたくもないですが。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>伝統文化を大切にする美しい国には、衆道が欠かせないということですかな？
……何を、どう勘違いすれば、穴兄弟=衆道、となるのだ？
住所：名古屋県
職業：自室警備員
> 長閣下
お名前から察するにフリティンスキー様はさしずめ敬虔なロシア正教徒の方であらしゃり、どうしても姦淫をお認めになりたくなかったのだと愚考します。
YHWHも初物食いだって前におっしゃっていたし、譲れない一線ですかね、非処女であることは…。
なるほど天皇を中心とする神の国・日本には、YHWHも処女信仰も関係ないですか、そうですか…。
>はぐれ宇宙刑事純情派
何気取ってんのよ、シャイダー。アンタだって刑事のクセに逮捕もしないでいつも皆殺しにしてたじゃない。
いまさら純情派ぶっても遅いのよ。
アタシはキックにジャンプにストレートだから殺してないもの、セーフよ。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞＞長閣下
ひょっとして、慰安所・ＲＡＡのことでしたか。（もしくは、現地調達）
＞日本男児たる者、生涯の友とすべき男と穴(0文字略)兄弟になるのが普通では無いのか？
の一文で、てっきり衆道かと。こいつは、失礼！
アニーさん…
お言葉を返すようですが、あなたはぼんぼん宇宙刑事など及びもつかぬほど大量に殺してます。
当時の青少年を……悩殺と云う手段でね…。
(決まりました？…ダメですかね？)
>> 容疑者を極刑に追い込む意気込み
>それは警察じゃなくて裁判所がきめること
>でしょ…というツッコミ
違います。
美しい空気を読む国では、民意とか市民感覚とか社会通念とか･･･。
ともかく何でもいいから「なんかその場の空気」が決めるのです。
和の国・美しい日本の特性として。
裁判員制度も導入されたことだし。
とりあえず容疑者になった時点で社会的に抹殺されるという実質から言うと、警察がほぼ決定権を握っているとも言えます。
わが国の警察機関は無謬ですからね。
職業：起承転結指南
>某瓦斯大好きっ狐どの
では、そのあにぃなるお女中は糸屋の娘でござるか。
姉ヶ崎何とやら申す傘屋の娘と好一対でござる。
住所：シベリア
職業：プロ左翼市民
青少年に現実からの逃避という悪影響を与える「非実在処女」は規制の対象だな。
これからはギャルゲヒロインの一定比以上は「させこ」を入れることを提唱したい。
>それは警察じゃなくて裁判所がきめること
>でしょ…というツッコミ
警察と司法が一体のものという民草への刷り込みは時代劇を通して完了済み。
というかそれが日ノ本の実態。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
一説には美少女との噂もある主幹殿であるが、ここ数日音沙汰がないところから、もしや今回逮捕されたのは実は主幹殿自身ではなかろうか。二次元人だったとは想定外である。
住所：おうち
職業：工作員
＞わが国の警察機関は無謬
ですな。
でないと死刑なんて存続できないですよ。
恥ずかしくて。
住所：シベリア
職業：グラップラー
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住所：四次元
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