ニンテンドーDS用恋愛ゲーム「ラブプラス」に登場するヒロインをモチーフに限定販売されたケーキに、一部
「ラプラス」
が誤って混入していたことが、企画・販売したコナミの調べでわかった。同社は「気付かずに箱を開ければ思わぬ精神的ダメージを被ることもある」として注意を呼びかけている。
ケーキに混入したのは、世界に存在するすべての原子の位置と運動量を把握し、未来のあらゆる出来事を予測できる「ラプラスの魔」。古典ニュートン力学と遺伝子工学に基づき開発され、先ごろ量産体制に入ったばかりだった。コナミの話では「ケーキの生産ラインがたまたまラプラスの魔のラインと近かったため混入が起きた」らしい。
ラブプラスは、モテない万年童貞でもゲーム内彼女とのラブラブ生活を味わえると評判の作品。今回のケーキ販売も「ゲーム内彼女同伴のプレイヤー限定」となっていた。それだけに、
「喜び勇んで箱を開けたら中からラプラスの魔が飛び出してきて
“おまえは一生独身だ！”
とか予言され、心に傷を負う被害者が続出するのではないか」
と関係者は心配している。
なお、ラプラスの魔は「シュレディンガーの猫」が苦手なため、どうしても限定ケーキを開封したい場合は「箱詰めにした生きてるか死んでるかわからない猫」をかたわらに置いておくとよいだろう。弊紙編集部で購入したケーキにもラプラスが混入しており、
「姉ヶ崎寧々は編集主幹の永遠の恋人」
と予言を披露してくれた。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>姉ヶ崎寧々は編集主幹の永遠の恋人
その「主幹」は、この世界の主幹と、平行世界の主幹のどっちだ？
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞「姉ヶ崎寧々は編集主幹の永遠の恋人」
主幹、以前のエントリーでご紹介した電撃Ｇ‘Ｓマガジン最新号は買われましたかな？くれぐれも付録の姉ヶ崎寧々おふろポスターに裸で突撃しないように。
http://gs.dengeki.com/magazine/index.html
> 姉ヶ崎寧々は編集主幹の永遠の恋人
主幹には永遠に三次元の恋人ができないと言うことですね。わかります。
＞姉ヶ崎寧々は編集主幹の永遠の恋人
剛腕サンタから頼まれたものを主幹さまへお渡しします。
肉タオル
http://news.walkerplus.com/2009/1104/9/
二次元の女性よりも、現実の肉タオルで暖まってくれだそうです。
住所：事象の地平線
職業：あにゃまる探偵（うさぎ人間inタキシード）
クリスマスを前にこれかよ。というのはともかく。
ラプラスの魔といえばローゼン首相（？）。あのころのほうがボーガスニュースも生き生きとしてたなあ、という主幹の嘆きがこの記事の含意であろうか。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞「姉ヶ崎寧々は編集主幹の永遠の恋人」
もし３次元にこだわるなら、参照サイトで記事を書いている、自称全国紙の道丸麻耶記者と結婚しちゃったらどうですか？主幹！（ただし道丸記者がフリーだったらに限る）
>姉ヶ崎寧々は編集主幹の永遠の恋人
コナミに無断でエロブログ開設して、おこづかいおねだりしてたのがバレたﾋﾞｯﾁの事ｶｼﾗ？
あまりの醜聞に訴えたコナミも「悪質な成り済まし」扱いにしたらしいわﾝﾌﾌﾌﾌ（上目遣いで含み笑い）
あと箱の中に死にかけの猫放置しとくと普通に死んじゃうわよ。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
開封前に判別できるとの未確認情報がある。開発元が「はみんぐばーどそふと」であれば、開封せずに破棄すべき、とのこと。しかしこれでは、箱の中の猫の立場がないではないか。
さぁ、ついにこの日がやってまいりました！
メリークリ卜リス！！！！
主幹さま、メリークリスマス♪
ラプラスの魔が言った内容は、主幹さまご自身が「２次元移行する」との予測予言では？
永遠の生命を得る事までするライバルはいないので、他の追随を許さないのでしょう。
シュレディンガーの猫で気になるのは、餌がないとやはり普通に死んじゃう事です。
密閉容器も速度を速めますが、臭わない点は有利か知れません。
特製ケーキの次は
「ラブプラス年越し蕎麦」、
「ラブプラスおせち」
を発売すると売れるんじゃないでしょうか。
来年は鉄道マニア向けに「ラブプラス駅弁」を発売するといい如
心のBGM
かーいちょーらぷらすーそーらーをー…
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
ラプラスさんは逆算する事によって過去の戦争犯罪も解明出来るのでしょうか？
だとしたら、歴史修正主義者がコナミにテロらないか心配です。
住所：不定
職業：工作員
＞喜び勇んで箱を開けたら中からラプラスの魔が飛び出してきて
＞“おまえは一生独身だ！”
＞とか予言され、心に傷を負う被害者が続出するのではないか
これは性悪ウサギと言うより喪黒福造では
アナタは一生独身ですよドーン！）9m
住所：Max Planck研究所
職業：配膳ベルク代理人
ラプラスの魔の混入は「マックスウェルの魔」による犯行と断定された。捜査当局はマ魔宅を反エントロピー罪の容疑で捜索。
一方、シュレディンガーの猫氏曰く、「我輩はラ魔の天敵にあらず。真の天敵は配膳氏の原理であり、編集主幹には『深く訂正』を望む」とのこと。
なお小生は既に高嶺愛花嬢と聖夜を迎える次第となっており、これ以上、主幹と不毛な争いは求めぬことを附記しておく。
ラプラスの魔さんによる「姉ヶ崎寧々は編集主幹の永遠の恋人」という予言も、反エントロピー罪の嫌疑対象になっています。
> 「歴史修正主義者がコナミにテロ」
後の世で語られる「コナミンテルンの陰謀」というヤツですね。
住所：靖国神社
職業：日本会議シンパ
クリスマスがそんなに嫌なら協会に行けばいいのにな。あそこなら、ユーミンも山下達郎の曲もかかってないし、プレゼントをねだる女も、いちゃついているカップルもいないですよ。
住所：靖国神社
職業：日本会議シンパ
×協会
○教会
住所：靖国神社
職業：斡旋業者(軍属)
>“おまえは一生独身だ！”
良かったじゃないですか「一生童貞」じゃなくて。
でも二次が永遠の恋人って人は見込みないってことかしら。
含蓄のある表現使うなあ。
まあ「労働市場流動化」と言えば学説面できますが「不況だしクビ切り放題でいいやん」はまずいですしね。
住所：靖国神社
職業：日本会議シンパ
ちょっとまじめな話ですが。
７０年前、おひげをはやしたおじさんが、
「男のような女が出現し、女のような男が出現したときが民主主義の終わりである」といいました。
それを思い出してしまいました。
住所：靖国神社
職業：日本会議シンパ
住所：靖国神社
職業：日本会議シンパ
ちょっとまじめな話ですが。
７０年前、おひげをはやしたおじさんが、
「男のような女が出現し、女のような男が出現したときが民主主義の終わりである」といいました。
それを思い出してしまいました。
住所：ガ島
職業：作戦のJC
>姉ヶ崎寧々は編集主幹の永遠の恋人
>その「主幹」は、この世界の主幹と、平行世界の主幹のどっちだ？
素晴らしい！
姉ヶ崎寧々が主幹の恋人である世界の投稿者から見れば姉ヶ崎寧々は主幹の恋人であり、姉ヶ崎寧々が主幹の恋人でない世界の投稿者から見れば姉ヶ崎寧々は主幹の恋人ではない、というわけですな
ディナーがどうした、ドンペリがどうした、赤プリの予約がどうしただのと浮かれている世のヤリチン野郎どもに「恋人の存在論的危機」を問う、某瓦斯ならではの論説に、遠く南洋の島にて、脱帽した次第であります
それでは本土の皆様、メリークリスマース！
住所：プール付のマンション
職業：最高の女とベッドでドン・ペリニヨン
>辻参謀
>ディナーがどうした、ドンペリがどうした、赤プリの予約がどうしただのと浮かれている世のヤリチン野郎
なぜ本官のことをこのように当てこするのか。不愉快である。言いたいことがあるならはっきり言いたまえ、「モテモテの大西が気にくわん」と。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
>来年は鉄道マニア向けに「ラブプラス駅弁」
車内駅弁は違法だ如。
揺れて転んでてぃむこの軟骨骨折だ如。
住所：ソロモン諸島
職業：参謀
げげっ！ あわてん坊、いや、あばれん坊の大西クロース！
>最高の女とベッドでドン・ペリニヨン
閣下のいる「世界」は、浜田省吾が実在するという「ハマショーワールド」（＠80年代）ということでオケーでしょうか？
豪邸・女・酒とはうらやましいかぎりですな……が
最高の女＝小早川凛子（実在）
ドンペリ＝シャンメリー（甘いの）
でないことをお祈り申し上げます
。ソロモン海の夕焼けを見ながら
辻政信
住所：ウガンダ共和国
職業：調理師
一生独身でもDSさえ壊れなければ主幹も姉ヶ崎寧々と一生ラブラブだ如。
でもDSが壊れたときは涅槃に行くまで脳内DSの中の「駅弁FAQでGO！」で遊べる如。
住所：不定
職業：工作員
毎年恒例のITmediaのこの記事を見て、Girls Sideの必要性を痛感した。
http://www.itmedia.co.jp/news/articles/0912/24/news066.html
真のジェンダーフリーを目指すのであれば一刻の猶予もないのでは。
#ところで主幹。そろそろ呪い疲れが出てくると思いますので、しもつかれでも（と油断したところを捕獲します）
＞東條上等兵 さん
＞「男のような女が出現し、女のような男が出現したときが民主主義の終わりである」
古来から巫女や巫徒は性別逆転の演出が神聖さの象徴で、そも出口出口王仁三郎自身が女物の襦袢を着て演出に必死でした。
偉大な魔法使いである主幹さまにも美少女疑惑が見られるのも、その一環ですね！
また、日本人はカリスマを求めて消費する傾向を繰り返しており、未だ真の民主主義は日本に出現していません。
どうぞ、ご安心ください。
始まってないものは終わりませんよ？
住所：二次元
職業：スペル星人
この一晩で一体どれだけの精液が無為に流されるのか…もうやめるんだ！こんなことは！！
住所：ハミングバードソフト
職業：派遣プログラミング
モーガン・ディロンさんや
ジョアンナ・サリバンさんは
攻略出来ないんですね…
非常に残念です。
住所：おうち
職業：工作員
CRPGなのにゲーム内でポーカーが出来た最古のゲームのような気がするがどうだっけかな
>>「姉ヶ崎寧々は編集主幹の永遠の恋人」と予言を披露してくれた。
もしかして、半人半牛の姿をしていて、すぐに亡くなってしまったのではありませんか？
よかったですね。そう言ってもらえて。
もう3次元に未練はありませんね
住所：四次元
永遠とかそんなこと言いながら、主幹その他大勢は、どうせ次に「ラブプラスα」が出たら、吸光して基底状態から励起されつつ、「うっ」って放射して遷移反応示すんでしょ。
自然はどんどんエントロピーの高い方へ進んじゃうんですからね。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：ボルシェビキ
初めまして。
今回投稿見まして爆笑してしまいました。
ラプラスの悪魔にシュレディンガーの猫。
シュールで、最高です。
今後も笑わせて下さい。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
ご期待に応えられず残念無念、廃刊すますた
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
経営再建の見通しが立ちましたので、今後もボーガスニュースにご期待下さい。
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