米国科学アカデミー紀要に発表された「ゴキブリは体内バクテリアの働きにより排尿しない」との研究論文に、批判が殺到している。
「ゴキブリは排尿する。証拠もある」
との指摘が、各地の女性たちから寄せられているのだ。果たして、女性たちの経験談が最新の生物学に打ち勝つことになるのか…。
都内世田谷区に住む女性会社員・Aさん（32）も「ゴキブリは排尿する」と断言するひとり。Aさんはこの夏まで、自宅で26歳のゴキブリと同居していた。このゴキブリは無職のうえAさんに金をせびってはパチンコでするような典型的なゴキブリだったが、確かに排尿していたという。
「トイレに入ると、よく便座が上がったままになっていた。排尿していたのは間違いない」
と語るAさん。
同様に杉並区在住の派遣・Bさん（32）も、現在同居中のゴキブリについて「音を立てて排尿している」と証言する。
「おしっこどころか啖も吐く。みっともないから別れようとは思うが、ズルズルと関係を続けてしまって…」
という身の上話が印象的だった。
さらに、ゴキブリに限らず
- ヒル
- 無生物であるはずのヒモ
も、排尿するとの報告が寄せられている。ここまで反証を並べたてられると、今回の論文の信憑性にははてなマークがつくと言わざるをえない。やはり、排尿しないのはアイドルだけという生物学の定説はゆるがないようだ。
ああ、かつては世界日報や産経新聞と並び称されるクオリティペーパーであったbogusnewsが侮日変態新聞レベルのお下品新聞に…。
こうやって男の非難ばかりして、権利ばかり主張しる女供のほうがゴキブリだろ
アイドルといって神聖化してみても、某酒井法子みたいなのをみてると、ああ、やっぱり。と、思ってしまう。
ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘとかﾋﾓとかいう名称はｵｽにだけ適用されます。
ﾒｽは活動状態が同じでもﾅｲｴﾝﾉﾂﾏとかｶｼﾞﾃﾂﾀﾞｲいとかｼｭﾌと呼ばれるそうです。
ゴキブリもヒルも、非常に古くから地球上に存在し、進化の過程の長さは人類の比ではありません。
特にゴキブリは、核戦争後も生き延びられる完全無欠な生物として知られます。
彼らは人類から理解されないだけであって、実はとても高貴な生き物なんですっ！
住所：天網恢恢
職業：あにゃまる探偵
しかしほんの少し前のbogusnewsならゴキブリの仲間にア○ーちゃんはじめとした自○党の方々が挙げられていたでしょうに、やっぱり政権交代の衝撃は大きかったようですな。
ちなみに私はおしっこでも座るのでかろうじてゴキブリ回避です。ちがうか。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
うーん、挙げられている事例を見ると、実はゴキブリではなくシロアリではないだろうか？
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
なぁ主幹様ぁ、こんな記事ぃ書いててミジメにゃなんねんけ？アンタこのまんまじゃゴキブリ以下だっぺ？
最近主幹さまは私小説執筆に嵌っているようです
どこかにｱﾀｼの聖水を栄養素に変えるゴキブリうじ虫ﾔﾌﾟｰの方はおられませんか？
叔母髷丼と呼ばれる春髷丼の進化形態から、ゴキブリもヒルもシロアリも自由です。
４０年間も金融資産の縮小が世界で続こうが、内乱だろうが革命だろうが、ゴキブリやヒルやシロアリには関係ありません。
アフガニスタンやイラクのように、廃ビルに住むアメリカ人が普通になったとて、ゴキブリやヒルやシロアリはテンで平気です。
ゴキブリ万歳！
ヒル万歳！
シロアリ万歳！
と人類が彼らを羨む未来が来るだの何だのって、ジェラルド・競れん手さんが言ってた。
そうです。生きるということには排尿を含む排泄がともなうのです。
主幹の脳内恋人の「ゆっきー」も、主幹の脳内ﾓﾄｶﾉのｶﾞｯｷｰも現実には排尿もすれば（略
某瓦斯編集主幹もようやく現実の人間と向き合う心構えが・・・
え？むしろス＊トロ趣味に走った？
（･∀･）変態ｻﾝ、ｲﾗｯｼｬ～ｲ
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
近年「あしだかぐも」に政権交代されるとみられている「ごきげんようおひさしぶり」。もはや時代遅れではなかろうか。
これからの時代は「うまばえ」であろう。あの「はすこら」を越える衝撃を知っていただきたい。私は遠慮する。
>ゴキブリやヒルやシロアリはテンで平気です
人間の豊かな食生活によってゴキブリの今日の繁栄があるので、40年間金融資産の縮小が世界で続いたら彼らもそれなりに困るのではないか。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>今回の論文の信憑性にははてなマークがつくと言わざるをえない。
その割には、今回の記事には、はてなブックマークが付いていないな。
住所：皇居
職業：ネット右翼
ふつうなら年齢をずらすはずなのになぜAさんもBさんも32歳なのか？
・32歳までならギリギリいける
・32歳以上は無理
・もうこの際32歳のおばはんでも
・むしろ32歳くらいの方が
・一回りまでなら年の差も何とかなるのでは
どれだ？
住所：海外(北海道)
職業：烏賊
ゴキブリ教育がなっていませんぞ。
便座を跳ね上げるですと？ 雄ゴキブリには、座って小をするようにちゃんと教育するのですぞ。
住所：不定
職業：自室警備員
実はシロアリは生物学的にはゴキブリの仲間だそうです。
これは自民党とネトウヨが仲良しである点から見ても明らかですね。
＞40年間金融資産の縮小が世界で続いたら彼らもそれなりに困るのではないか。
腐肉も食えるので没問題です。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
ゴキブリだからって、睡眠剤と練炭で偽装自殺を強いるのは止めてください。
かわいそすぎます。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
「トイレット博士」ではゴキブリがねいちんに化けとった件についてだ如。
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
安倍ゴキなんか放尿どころか脱糞してたぞ。
住所：名古屋県
職業：ネット右翼
>ゴキブリやヒルやシロアリはテンで平気です
人間の豊かな食生活によってゴキブリの今日の繁栄があるので、40年間金融資産の縮小が世界で続いたら彼らもそれなりに困るのではないか。
ルイヴィトン 手帳 コピー
住所：東京都
職業：ネット右翼
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