木星が近傍を通る彗星を“捕獲”する奇妙な天体現象が観測され話題を呼んでいるが、これが“他の星の住人”による人為的工作だということが追跡調査で判明した。正体は、なんと太陽系惑星連合から追放された悪の枢軸
“冥王星人”
で、木星に前哨基地を建設してくだんの現象を引き起こしているらしい。いったいこの所業の目的は…？
“木星の彗星捕獲”が冥王星人のしわざと判明したのは、海王星人からの通報がきっかけ。彗星捕獲現象の謎を調べるため彼らが無人調査船を派遣したところ、木星の衛星軌道上に怪しい宇宙基地が発見された。ご存知のとおり木星には生命が存在しないためいぶかしんで基地の中を調べたところ、触手だらけのいやらしい冥王星人の姿が確認できたという。
報告によれば、基地には大容量のトラクタービーム発生機が備え付けられており、彗星捕獲現象はこれにより引き起こされていたと見て間違いない。さらにマスドライバーも発見され、彗星が捕獲されたあと再び木星の重力の井戸から解放されたのは、これによって射出されたようすが観測されたものと見られる。つまり、すべての現象は冥王星人の陰謀だったのだ！
とはいえ冥王星人の目的はなんなのかが気になるところ。太陽系に詳しい識者は
「小ささを理由に惑星の座を追われた冥王星を、カサを増して返り咲かせるのが狙いだろう」
と見る。冥王星の科学力では直接彗星を捕獲することは難しい。そこで引力の強い木星を利用して彗星を集め、マスドライバーで冥王星に送ろうという計画なのだ。自分たちの利益のために彗星を盗むとは、あらためて冥王星人の卑劣さが浮き彫りになったかっこうだ。太陽系惑星連合には、冥王星に対しあらためて毅然とした制裁措置を取ることが求められそうだ。
エロのテロリスト、エロリスト主幹! マスドライバーで只今見参!!
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
主幹は、妙齢の女性ハーレムに“捕獲”されたんですな。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
主幹が壊れたのは民主党のせいです。
「財源はどうするの？理解できません、ケケケ」
という呪文を100万回唱えると直ります。
冥王星＝栃木、茨城。
と、考えるのが正しいですか？
冥王星人の「＞触手だらけのいやらしい」容姿は、いろづきチンクルのイメージと考えて宜しいんでしょうか？
いじましい冥王星カサ上げ作戦とかも、その雰囲気で？
主幹の股間から発射されたおびただしい数の彗星は、その多くが紙や便器の中で死に絶えました。
しかし、そのなかの幸運な一つが、いま冥王星人の手で
冥王星と受精させられました。
今太陽系で起きている事は、「2010年」のボーマンが言う「素晴らしい何か」なのか、それとも、とてつもない恐怖なのか、私にはわかりません。
住所；ウガンダ共和国
職業：調理師
なるほど、マスドライバーを作れる技術があれば彗星を減速させる技術も応用して生み出すことができるわけですねぇ…
とりあえず、冥王せつなと無関係だったのが確認できたのでホッとしました。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
> カレーは飲み物殿
深夜零時になると「でっどすとりーむ」の声が繰り返し、徐々に大きく聞こえてくる、という怪奇現象が報告されているが、これは冥王星人の恨み節ではないだろうか。
ではまた明日、午前零時にお会いしましょう。
住所：ボタ山
職業：自宅警備員
惑星でもない所の連中に小惑星をやるわけにはいかんわなあ
住所：二次元
職業：魔法少女
「プルート・プラネットパワー！メイクアップ！」
「時を司るセーラープルート、この愛すべき星を、妄想童帝の捏造通りにはさせません」
「主幹時間よ、童貞のまま永久に止まれ！」
>太陽系に詳しい識者
ヴェリコフスキー先生＠衝突する宇宙だったら、冥王星人の標的は小惑星ペルセフォネだって断言しちゃったでしょうね…
そして併せて、この現象が引金となって、準惑星セレスが地球に落下し地球の穀物生産が壊滅的状態になるということも…
ちょっと米買うてくる
住所：太陽系
職業：童貞
H-TVの「ロボットアーム」、今回の「マスドライバー」
とくれば、
”触手”
しかないでしょ。
…それにしても
>>彗星を盗む
とは、
ロマンチックね、主幹（はあと
んー、秋晴れの爽やかな朝。みんな朝マス掻いてちゃぁ大自然のおしおきヨ？
さーて秋祭り。捕獲したいやらしい触手の冥王星人と主幹の卵から100人孵ったから「夜のおともだちｴﾛｶﾜ星人」とかゆって屋台で売ってきまーす★
ほれっ並べ下等生物、ｲｳｺﾄｷｶﾅｲﾄｷｮｳﾓｺﾞﾊﾝﾅｼﾀﾞﾖ!
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
こらエレェこった、知んねうち冥王星人の馬鹿タレ共ォ日本さ侵入して、気ィついたら参政権よこせって言いかねねぇぞ！
早えとこ麻生様ぁ戻ってもらわねばなんねな！
ところで冥王星人の親玉の苗字ぁやっぱ一字なんけ？
>冥王星人の親玉の苗字ぁやっぱ一字なんけ？
森先生と岸先生をバカにするな！
>冥王星人の親玉の苗字
やっぱり親玉の苗字は、ぶ…
…おや、誰か来たようだ。
以下、32軍参謀長閣下が某国のやんごとない一族の苗字について一言
↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
まぁ、名字なるものが無い地域・民族・渡来系侵略者なども無い事も無いので、深く考え無い方が良いだろう。
クラウザーさんにあいさつ回りしてから載せろよな
仮に冥王星の質量が増えれば、軌道とか公転・自転の周回速度とか変わらないんですか？楕円軌道なのに。
「亡国のやんごとない親玉」とも言いますが。
何でも、英訳の聖書には「藪は実りが無く云々」と言う句があるそうですよ？「兄弟の眼の塵を取ろうとしても、自身の眼に梁があれば如何して取れようか」とか有名な一節の前後に。
住所：カサ増して返り咲き
職業：沖ノ鳥島のことか
>質量が増えれば、軌道とか公転・自転の周回速度
マスドライバーで打ち込むんだから運動エネルギーも加わるにょ。
その辺はちゃんと計算されてる、角度とか。
住所：海外(北海道)
職業：烏賊
なにかよくわかりませぬが、マスドライバーとは「ローラーゲーム」のようなものですかな？
首領様が、懐かしの番組をみながら、元の国にお返しくださるのですな。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
寧鎮高掲上
鱗雲見上快
相突貝欲棒
只逝馬占山
(体位また股大意)
財源とか気にせず
ただ逝くだけだ如。
官僚がなんと言おうが
ねいちんが「もう駄目」といふのも聞かず
全然平気なえろてろりすとだ如。
真っ最中に見上げる空には鱗雲だ如。
木星人は、断固抗議する！！
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