有史以前から賢人たちを悩ませてきた永遠の命題「人生の意味は」に、ついに回答が得られる日がやってきた。イギリスの物理学者が、科学的に人生を分析した結果
「人生にはなんの意味もない」
ことが判明したとの論文を発表したのだ。長年の謎に終止符が打たれるいっぽう、各方面に与える衝撃も大きそうだ。
1日付けで英科学誌「アルス・ネイチャー」に論文を発表したのは、物理学者のアーサー・フィリップ・デント博士。博士は、過去60年にわたり約千人にのぼる被験者を追跡調査し、「人間が生涯に摂取・吸収するエネルギー」と「生み出したり発散したりするエネルギー」の総量を算出・比較したところ、
「被験者の98パーセントで、エネルギーが差し引きマイナスかゼロ」
であることがわかった。
この結果からすると、
「物理学的には人生には意味がないどころか、環境に有害ですらある」
ということになる。過去さまざまな知識人や宗教家が説いてきた「人生の意味」はすべて欺瞞だったということにもなる。事実が広まれば、各方面で生きる意味を見失った人々が絶望のどん底に突き落とされる可能性もあり、影響は大きそうだ。
弊紙もさっそく街角インタビューを試みたが、
「たしかに、毎日牛馬のように満員電車に押し込まれて会社に通い、なけなしのプライドを安月給で切り売りする人生に意味があるのか─とは思っていたが科学的にも無意味だったとは…」
と一様にショックを受けたようすの人が大半だった。今後の社会不安の広まりが心配されるところだ。
きょうは4月1日。
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
実は千葉県民だけど、主幹にネタを提供しそうなバカがこんど親分になるらしいです。可愛がってあげてね。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
人生とは駅弁と見付けたりだ如。
>きょうは4月1日。
そんなこと主幹が言ってもシャレにならないのですよ。
鬱だ、氏のう…OTZ。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
つまり、南京で死んだ30万人の支那人どもは、意味の無い人生を終らせてやった小官に感謝すべきと言う事だな。
と言う訳で、小官の偉業が、小学校の教科書に載る日も近いぞ。
藤岡信勝や妙齢の女性ジャーナリストなどのアカの手先は、泣いて悔しがるがよかろう。
「強力な軍事的手段によってすべての迎撃手段とその牙城を無慈悲に粉砕する」とか言ってた人はヘンだなーとは思いましたがやはり四月馬鹿でしょうか。
ちょっとフライングですね。
でも、しばらく前から「迎撃しちゃうぞー」とか出来ないしスル気もないことを吹聴しまくりな人達はフライング早杉、ルール違反だと思います。
住所：ねはん
職業：デカブリスト
あれ？なんだか今日は真理中の真理、ただの真実が書いてあるな。
ここホントにボーガスニュース？あ、そこが４月１日か。
嗚呼、ショックだ、立ち直れそうにないですorz。
と、釣られたふりをしてみる。
住所：靖国神社
職業：二千万特攻の司令官
そこで君の人生を有意義にする方法があるのだが……
彼女が欲しいといつも嘆いている主幹ですが、実は、川村ゆきえ似の彼女がいることがわかりました。二人は同棲しており、子どもも授かった様子、会社経営の仕事もうまくいき、幸せを満喫しているようです。
いつまでもお幸せに。
4/1調べ。
許せない！処女で少女で娼婦で淑女で飛頭蛮で人生面白おかしく謳歌しまくってるｱﾀｼ的にはこんなひどい嘘、エイプリルフールだからって許せなぁーい★
主幹、舌抜いてあげるからうがいして待っててねﾊﾟﾀﾊﾟﾀﾊﾟﾀ（←耳で羽ばたく音）
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
よく言われる「○○のない人生に意味はない」の共通項をくくり出した結果ではないだろうか。
そして我々の人生には某瓦斯新聞がある。それだけが救いである。
毎年この日だけ我に返ったように真実をいうなよ…。
住所：シベリア
職業：IT士方
>きょうは4月1日。
つまりこの記事だけ本物ですね、わかります。
住所：東池袋
職業：パート
幸も不幸もないんです。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
デント博士は間違っている。
宇宙の生成から消滅まで観測確認してからそんな寝言をほざけよな。
人生が無意味などと、自殺に向かいがちな風説が流布したトコで、今と何の違いがありましょうか。
精々、１６分に一人の自殺者が、１３分や１０分に一人へとカウントダウンするだけでしょ。
政府が転覆する訳じゃあるまいに、騒ぐ程の事でもないですよ？
＞君の人生を有意義にする方法
流石は大西閣下！
矢張りテポドン・ノドン迎撃は、日本男子の載ったＰＡＣ３でなければ…
旧軍以来の美しい伝統でありますっ。
住所：名古屋県
職業：アルファコメンター
エネルギー収支がプラスになるはずがない（エネルギー保存則による）。そんなことがあったら、永久機関が発明できてしまう。
あ、主幹の永久自家発電機関なら可能か。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
いや、だから、あれはミサイルじゃなくて人工衛星だってばよ。
『人生にはなんの意味もない』
(;ﾟДﾟ)ｴ！
(ﾟДﾟ;)ｴ?
(;つД⊂)ｺﾞｼｺﾞｼ
(ﾟДﾟ)
『（某瓦斯新聞編集主幹の）人生にはなんの意味もない』
(ﾟДﾟ)ﾅｰﾝﾀﾞ
(･∀･)子孫残ｾﾅｲﾓﾝﾅ
> きょうは4月1日。
創立記念日、万歳！
住所：ウガンダ共和国
職業：調理師
「何かの対称性がみられる゛⇒保存則が存在する」
というネーターの定理から考えるに…
「誰の人生も似たり寄ったりという対称性がある⇒人生エネルギー保存の法則がある」
と論が考えられるという解もありそうですね。
ほとんど全ての宗教が「一人一人それぞれに生きる価値がある」という考えを信じるよう教えているのも、一人一人の存在の対称性があるということを信徒に教えようとしているのでしょう。
なんだ。
4月1日だけは、
bogusなニュースじゃないんですね…
このサイトも意味ないっすね。
住所：二次元
職業：自室警備員
そう、今日は四月一日。
一年に一度だけの主幹が世界の真実を述べる日だ。
残酷な真実…っ！たとえ人生に意味が無くても、人類の歴史に価値が無くても、ｱﾀｼは愛する主幹のいるこの地球を守るわっ！ｼｬｷｰﾝ！
…え？エイプリルフールは午前中まで？ﾏｼﾞｽｶ？げろげろー★
住所：魔界
職業：ビアス
生命・人生（life n.）
肉体を貯蔵して、腐敗しないようにしておく精神的な漬け汁。
我々は、そうした漬け汁がなくなることがあっては大変だと、日々不安な思いにかられながら生活を営んでいる。それでいて、なくなってみたところで、さほど惜しいとも思わないのが普通である。
「人生は果たして生きる価値ありや否や」と言う問題は、昔から盛んに議論されてきた。特に、価値なしと考える連中が好んでこの問題を取り上げるのだが、その連中と来たら、自分の見解が正しい事を確証しようとしてそこら中に害毒を撒き散らす一方、自分は健康の掟を注意深く守り、長年にわたって、議論の名誉ある成果を享受してきた者がワンサといる。
きょうは4月1日。
たしかに俺も含めて世の男どもが過去に大勢の女性と交わって射精してきたが（それをはるかに上回るマスターベーションもあるし）そのほとんどは子孫を残すことを端から拒否するものだったからなぁ。
そういうことにおいては、人生に意味など全く無かったと、いえる。
まあ、チャールズ・ブコウスキーなら女とやりまくる事に人生の意味をみるだろうけど。
そもそも「意味」という概念自体に実体はなく、人間の錯覚に過ぎません。人生のみならず、宇宙全体に最初から意味は存在しません。
そもそも「人生」というものに実体は無く、人間の錯覚に過ぎません。ですから人生は実在しません。
今日は4月1日。
しかし4月1日には実体は無く、人間の錯覚に過ぎません。なので4月1日は実在しません。
某瓦斯ニュースには実体はなく、見る者の妄想と性欲に過ぎません。したがって某瓦斯ニュースは実在しま（ry
住所：地下闘技場
職業：プロ左翼市民
結局、意味がどうの理由がどうのと騒ぐのは中途半端に脳が成長した人類の特権であり、かつ汚点でもある。
意味がないものを人間は実行できない。
動物の本能は単にプログラムされた行動を考えなしに実行できるが人間はその本能行動でさえ、意味・理由を考えてしまう。
ここに人類の人類たる決定的な欠陥がある。
＞中途半端に脳が成長した人類の特権であり、
・中途半端に「胸」が成長した人類の特権であり、に見えたorz
・動物の本能である単にプログラムされた行動であっても実行できないorz
・意味・理由を考え、たとえ意義付けできたとしても実行できないorz
後悔のススメ／脳活用法スペシャル
昨日放送されたNHK「プロフェッショナル仕事の流儀」は「脳活用法スペシャル」という特別番組でした。そこで、「教える」ということについて、様々な観点から述べていました。今…
住所：靖国神社
職業：工作員
私は、ボーガスニュースで、生きる喜びを知りました。性への目覚め、愛のよろこび、けがれなき童貞の美しさなどなどなど。
主幹、あなたのおかげです。生きる意味はあるのです・。
住所：おうち
職業：ネット右翼
「物理」などという、いかにも日教組が崇拝していそうな自虐的な分析など信用できるか！
国の為に生き、国の為にネットでサヨクを論破し、日曜日は自宅でエロゲー三昧。我が人生に一点の曇りなし！
日本国万歳！
少し書き込み内容を難しくするとめっきり旗の数が減るのは愛国者様仕様だからなんですね。
住所：四次元
職業：魔法少女
残り2％は魔法的手段で異世界に消えたため測定不能でした。
住所：海外(北海道)
職業：烏賊
ですから、そこらの人間なるものを、殺そうが、潰そうが、破壊しようが、全く問題はないのです。
問題は、検察が好みで貼り付けるレッテルです。
住所：名古屋県
職業：自室警備員
主幹・・・
つωT｀)ヾ (ﾟДﾟ )…ｲ㌔
反対の賛成と言いましょうか、反対の反対は賛成と言いましょうか、ここはbogus newsですので…嘘の嘘は…
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
>生み出したり発散したりするエネルギー
生命の源を発散するだけなら、人生に意味はないですのぉ。それもまた人生ではありますが。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
よってCLANNADにも意味はない。個人的には風子殿の存在だけで充分である。
辻仁成の書く歌詞にも…嫌だなあ、そんなわけないじゃないですか。
愛をくださいうぉうぉう
ああ、また意味の無いアニメに2クール付き合ってしまった…
ほんと、意味の無い人生だとこの時期は思いがち。
住所：ソレスタルビーイング
職業：ガンダムマイスター
↑
オマエのその人生に介入する。
その歪みを、断ち切るっ！！
二日は記事がありませんでしたね。
「人生にはなんの意味も無い」と言い残して主幹はこの世から旅立ったのですね…
住所：銀河系
職業：IT士方
> 国の為に生き、国の為にネットでサヨクを論破し、日曜日は自宅でエロゲー三昧。
ウヨ的には自宅でエロゲーをやるのも愛国なんでしょ？
那須のお山で茨城の方が遭難…。
神聖童帝主幹の偉大な予言力が…。
もう、茨城栃木間の戦争か？
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
人生の意味を白土三平のあるマンガで学びました。『ざしきわらし』という短編で、マンガ史上に残る“泣ける”最高傑作でした。
最期のセリフは「おれの一生も おわりのほうへきて めっぽうおもしろく なりよったわ」
映画化して欲しい。
まったく意味がわからんね。
なんでその前提から結論が導かれるのか。前提そのものがそんな大きな問題を内包していないような気がしますが。
まったくダメだね。
人生に意味は無い
ほっとしました、もし意味があれば その評価は 自分の人生はどうか まあ広がってきますね 意味が無いのでは 楽になります
住所：名古屋県
職業：ニート
保ああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ
[…] 英物理学者が立証「人生にはなんの意味もない」─各方面に衝撃 […]
人生に意味はない。意味は、自身によってつくられる。
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