古今東西多くの人間に愛されてきたあの人が突然の自殺…。25日、有名ジュエリーのダイヤモンドさんが自宅マンションで亡くなっていたことがわかった。現場の状況や遺書があったことから、警察では自殺と見ている。業界では欠かせない存在として一目おかれていただけに、各方面に大きな衝撃を与えそうだ。
ダイヤモンドさんが亡くなっていたのは、港区内の自宅マンション。この日、知人のデ・ビアスさんが訪ねたところ返事がなかったため管理人とともに鍵を開けて入ったところ、ダイヤモンドさんがリビングに倒れていた。すぐさま緊急搬送されたが、病院に着いたときにはすでに亡くなっていたという。
警察の調べで現場から鈍器と遺書が発見されたことから、「自分で自分を砕いて自殺したもの」と見られている。遺書には
「自分より58パーセントも硬い物質の“ロンズデーライト”が発見され、世界一硬い物質の座を追われた。生きている意味を見失い、心が傷ついた。」
などと書かれていた。先日科学者が発見した“ダイヤより硬い物質”のニュースに悲観して、みずから命を絶ったようだ。
ダイヤさんの友人で相談に乗ることも多かったというジルコニウムさんは
「“硬い硬い”と世間でもてはやされるいっぽう、意外に打たれ弱い性格だった」
と話す。さいきんも
「おれなんかに給料10ヶ月ぶんの価値はない。ただのシンジケートの犬さ」
「おれのせいでアフリカの子どもたちが強制労働に駆り出されている。おれは血で汚れている」
とふさぎこみがちだったという。
硬さは日本男児が一番。
悪魔将軍もびっくりの事件です。
>>す3.1 さん
でも早いけどな。
硬さや太さじゃなく、テクニックだよ。
「君への愛はこのダイヤモンドのように世界一硬い」
とかいってプロポーズしたやつ涙目
なお、警察では第一発見者のデ・ビアスさんも容疑者として取り調べている。ダイアモンドの販売を一手に取り仕切っているデ・ビアスさんが、世界同時不況で売り上げの落ちているダイアモンドさんを殺害することで人気を取り戻そうとしたのではないかという疑いがもたれている。
>警察では第一発見者のデ・ビアスさんも容疑者として取り調べている。
やっぱりね。焼身すればあっという間に燃え尽きるのに、わざわざ砕いたところが怪しいと思ったんだ。
住所：皇居
職業：従軍慰安婦
>やん さん
そう言いつつナニを見せればよろしい。
住所：ニート
職業：ヒヒイロカネを拾って加工する的な何か
よかった、ダイアモンド✡ユカイさんは生きていたんだね･･･！
これはオリ・ハルコンさんの陰謀なのではないのでしょうか？いや、絶対そうですよ。日教組がバックにまわっているらしいと聞いたんですが･･･。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
ＵＴＡＭＡＲＯ乙だ如。
バックに廻って
ぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱん
ボーゼル１０連発だ如。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
>ボーゼル
◎ボ慕ゼル
だ如。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：童貞
これでダイヤは暴落…？
メシウマ状態!!
そのうちにグリコのおまけに付くようになるだろ。
m9(^Д^)ぷぎゃー
住所：銀河系
職業：ニート
豆腐のカドに頭ぶつけて自殺ですか。
デ・ビアスさんもまだまだですね。
長野県知事の側近な右近さん（空自出身）なんか、川端の電柱にロープ掛けて「自殺」ですよ？
西島建設の件で警察に事情を聴かれて悩んでいた様子で。
背広姿なのに鞄さえも無く、当然遺書なんて無いですよ？
いっそ、そこまで堂々とすれば、事情通への口封じ警告になるかもよ？的な。
ブラッディー・ダイヤモンドなんて、日本政界のブラッディーさに比べれば、可愛いです！
結局ダイヤモンドさんは頭も固かったようですな。
よく考えたら
×ダイヤモンド
○ダイアモンド
ですな。
プリプリもダイアモンドだね～ってうたってるし。
↑すみませんこれ間違いです。
住所：ねはん
ハンマーのような衝撃に打たれ、砕け散ってしまったんですね。
＞ホワイトデー向けにダイヤの死体
えーっと、普通一般的なホワイトデーは精々マシュマロか何かで、ダイヤの死体は流石に結婚云々な気がしますが、２００万持ち逃げの彼女のリクエストですか？
大変ですね、主幹…っ！
途中で桃の濃密なセック○とか言ってたのも、スッポ抜かされて？！
何か、目から汗が…
高温高圧でダイヤモンドが出来るのもコミンテルンの陰謀だと思います。
住所：思い出９９階
職業：飛べない鳥
＞DECOすけ野郎 さん
＞職業：ヒヒイロカネを拾って加工する的な何か
シド乙
いつまでも夢みたいなこと言ってる暇があったら俺みたいに金稼いでみろや(ﾌﾟｷﾞｬｰ
ギザールの野菜ひとつでしっぽ振ってついてくるチョコボがよく言うぜ。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
なあんだ。てっきり某経済週刊誌が廃刊したのかと思った。
私は「それだから名前は右派ダイヤモンドにしとけば良かったのに」と書こうと思い、書きそびれました。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
これ他殺でしょ。
＞世界一の座うばわれ傷ついた
ダイヤモンドさんを燃やすと傷も消えて無くなります。
｢ダイヤモンドはなかった｣
住所：ねはん
職業：デカブリスト
ダイヤモンド・アイさんも亡くなったのですか？誰が私たちを前世魔人から守ってくれるのでしょう。
>前世魔人
外道照身霊破光線を女子中学二年生さんに浴びせると｢ウウ～バレたか～私の正体は妙齢の～!!｣
もう…自粛します…
住所：ウガンダ共和国
職業：調理師
知人のサンドペーパーさんは
「これまでずっと工場長に”おまえは世界一硬いのだから”と諌められて、彼は硬い金属やガラスを加工する3K職場で毎日身を粉にして働いていた。金融市場の混乱の影響で、これからは余暇も増えてラクができると話していた矢先でした。まさかこんなことに…」
「いまどき硬派で。いい奴でした、男でした。」
と言葉を詰まらせた。
ロンズデーライト（Lonsdaleite）というのはどうも売れそうな名前ではないので、Lonsdaleiteの別名である Hexagonal Diamond（六方晶ダイアモンド）から「ヘキサダイア」または「ヘキサモンド」はどうでしょうか。（「ヘクサ…」は不可とさせていただきます）
出身地:ﾆｭｰﾘﾝ彗星
身長:45メートル
ﾌﾞﾎﾎﾎﾎ58%ごときでいい気になるでないぞﾛﾝﾂﾞﾃﾞｰﾗｲﾄとやら。この妙齢女帝デスボイン様の爪はダイヤの100ばいのかたさをほこり、パンチ力は松井のホームラン10000発ぶんぢゃ。
ｸﾞﾋﾞｯ
ｶﾀｰﾝ
ふう～…ダイヤよりハートが欲しいわね(ﾎﾞｿｯ)
マスター、もう一杯頂戴。
両方あったらもっといいわね(ﾎﾞｿｯ)
「あのー、お客様、本日某瓦斯バーはもう閉店です。
明日の新ネタをお待ち下さい。」
なにぃ～っ！始発まで営業しなさいよ！栃木の弩田舎だから駅前のファミレスも牛丼屋も閉まってるじゃないの！
「駅の反対側にボーガスバーガーとネットカフェ『ボーガス』がありますよ」
なんか入りたくないわね…
あら、何かしら、夜空にドス黒いものが…
「ああ、あれはﾆｭｰﾘﾝ彗星ですよ。今夜地球に再接近するんだそうです」
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
「じょじょ」にまた修正が必要だ。新すたんど「DTろんずでいらいと」の登場で物語の展開も大幅に変わるであろう。
住所：おうち
職業：童貞
ダイナモンドはどの位硬いんだろ？
悪魔将軍もびっくりの事件です。
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