誰もが待ち望んでいたあの超大作RPGの最新作が、またも発売延期となった。発売日直前になってのリリース遅延はゲーム業界ではよくあることだが、前評判どおりの内容ならヒット確実の作品だっただけにメーカーは業績の下方修正を迫られることになりそうだ。
発売延期が決まったのは、アガペーイスラーム社（本社：エルサレム）の
「ヒューマンクエストIX
～負け組への福音」
だ。平凡なサラリーマン家庭に生まれた勇者が、小中高でほどほどの成績をおさめ、ほどほどの大学からそれなりの企業に就職、十人並みの奥さんと結婚してそれなりに幸せになることを目指す人気RPG。しかし、ちょっと足を踏み外すだけでモテない無職になりリセットするしかない難度の高さで知られ
「バグがあるのでは」
「クソゲー」
と言われライトユーザー離れが起きているとの指摘も。最新作ではゲームバランスを改善。誰でもクリアできる内容となる予定だった。
アガペーイスラーム社のアブラハム社長は、13日の記者会見で
「ゲーム序盤の“バレンタイン”イベントで、プレイヤーによってはどうしてもフラグが立たないという重大なバグが見つかったので発売延期を決めた。奇跡を起こせると思って油断していた。みんなが幸せになれるゲームを作れるという発想が、そもそも傲慢だった。反省している」
と新作を待ちわびていたファンに陳謝した。
今後、ヒューマンクエストでは根本教義を「悟りを開いた一柱の仏が衆生を救う」に切り替え、バグの改修をおこなう予定。この改修でゲーム中には
- あらゆる男性がチョコをもらえる
- 手術しなくてもいい
ような極楽浄土が広がるという。アガペーイスラーム社広報担当の弥勒菩薩氏によれば、最終的な発売日は56億7千万年後を予定しているとのこと。
なんかもう、いろいろと必死すぎ。
かくなる上は主幹自身がメシアとなり、「おらといっしょにぱらいそさいくだ！」と読者に呼びかけるしかないのでは？
善人なをもて、況や童貞をや、ということですねわかります
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
バグ改修より腰と腹筋を鍛えてねいちんの体重が65ｋｇあっても下からバクバク突き上げる練習をしとけだ如。
結局今年のバレンタインにも間に合わないわけですね。
＞５６億７千万年後
とりあえず現世じゃもうムリポ、
チョコをもらうためにあと何回転生すりゃいいんだよ・・・。
イケメンはよっぽど前世で功徳を経験したらしいな。
これもカルマか・・。
この時期の主幹は、なにか痛々しい。明後日を過ぎれば治るか。
「もてない無職」って都市伝説的なネットの想像物かと思ってましたが、本当に足を踏み外してその存在を自ら確認してしまいました。
恐ろしい難易度です、『ヒューマンクエストⅨ』。
クソゲーすぎる。
マジむずいよ、このゲーム。
だいぶ前に始めたけど
いまだに自分の生まれた村で
近所に買い物行くのが精一杯の遠出。
それですら途中で
リア充にぶちあたったら
即死するし。
自宅でも
味方キャラのはずのカーチャンの「溜息」で
ダメージくらうし。
どこでレベルあげ＆金貯めできるの？このゲーム。
ああこれね。簡単すぎてクソゲー過ぎるって意味だろ？
え？違うの？ぷぷー
住所：名古屋県
もしやとは思ったけど、やはりあす１４日当日まで、４日連続のバレンタイン関連記事特集なんですね。
うーん、もう頭の中はそのことでいっぱいで、不況なんてどこ吹く風ですね。
住所：ねはん
職業：童貞
もらおうもらおうと思うからいけないのです。欲しがるのではなく、与えなさい。
明日、道行く人達にチョコレートを配ってあげるのです。人々の感謝の目が貴方のその欲望を綺麗に洗い流してくれるでしょう。
そんなの、キリスト教と仏教をイキナリ混同するから難易度が上がるんですよ。
キリスト教の極右、キリスト教原理主義なら話は簡単なのに。
５６億７千年も待たずに、エルサレムをイスラエルに完全支配させさえすれば、イスラムとのアルマゲドンでステージが変わります。
キリストが白馬に乗って降臨し、選ばれた純潔な童貞男子１４万７千人が新しい世界を作るのです！
（他はマジで皆殺し、洒落抜きで。だから米国のド田舎、バイブル・ベルトで人気があるのかも知れない…）
住所：浄土猪口宗製菓寺
職業：住職
56億年も待たずとも「南無猪口仏」と念仏を唱えれば来世は極楽猪口土に往生し毎日天女から食べきれないほどチョコと酒を振舞われるぞよ。
ただし猪口土に往生するには我が寺への高額な布施が必要ぢゃ。
住所：基地外
職業：進駐軍
ホレ！チョコやるから拾って食え。
（ｷｯ！）
許して、主幹！バグは死ななきゃ治らないの！来世で会いましょう！
とうっ！ｸﾞﾘｺﾊﾟｲﾅｯﾌﾟﾙﾁｮｺﾚｰﾄｰッ！（←必殺技）
住所：海外(北海道)
職業：烏賊
56億7千万年後って太陽の寿命が終わりかけたりアンドロメダ銀河が衝突してきたりする頃だというのに。
弥勒菩薩氏の先見性の無さにはがっかり。
住所：ねはん
もはや来世に望みを託すしかないとは、、、、、主幹さまに幸あれ（泣
いやいや。
「＞皆が幸せになれる」「＞極楽浄土」って、そんな。
詰まり、アノ世です。
ブリタニア皇帝陛下の見解でも、そうですし。
マヤ・アステカも、終末思想は皆、そう！
>明日、道行く人達にチョコレートを配ってあげる
それなんて純潔キャンディ？
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞あらゆる男性がチョコをもらえる
＞手術しなくてもいい
そのような極楽浄土を目指して、モテない童貞、自室警備員、某匿名巨大掲示板・ＳＮＳユーザー及び某ポータルサイトニュースコメンターなどが、お釈迦様の垂らした蜘蛛の糸に大量にしがみついて、醜い争いをしていたら、それはそれで悲しいものがありますな。
―スライムがあらわれた！
―スライムは、はずかしそうにもじもじしている
―スライムがおずおずとチョコを差し出した
>うけとる
こうげきする
しんじつのあいにめざめる
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
もう2500年ほど経過しているので、あと56億6999万7500年ほどじゃないですか？ ちなみに釈迦入滅は2月15日。
>奇跡を起こせると思って油断していた
主幹さま… それは奇跡ではなくて鬼籍ですか…orz
住所：ねはん
職業：オメガブロガー
明日は1970年1月1日から数えて
1234567890ミリ秒目
を迎えるキリ番マニアにとっては忘れられない記念日です。それ以外にこの日に意味がありましたっけ？
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
馬鹿でも首相や経団連会長になれるチートモードがあるって聞きましたが、どうやれば入れるんですかね？
2009年度のXデー
1げっとお ｽﾞｻｰ
こんな糞スレ立てるな氏ね（AA略）
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
この作品、不定期に「中の人」が一般人にまぎれて登場、超絶遊戯を披露するようだ。有名なところでは2000年前。処刑からの復活は簡単には真似ができない。
最近、各種の初期ぱらめーたが最低なところから開始、報道関係の職について一気に逆転という神技をみせた達人が現れた、という噂をきいた。ぜひ見てみたいものだ。
弥勒菩薩様にチョコレートを貰わなければならないのか……
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
“誰一人として幸せになれないゲーム”こそ、衆生の救済である。
ラーメン
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