厚生労働省は17日、将星ベバレジ（本社：聖帝十字陵）が販売するミネラルウオーター「クリスタルサウザー」の一部商品に異臭のするものがあったとして、注意文書を発表した。いっぽう、販売元では該当商品の自主回収を拒否するという異例の態度を示し、同省を困惑させている。
クリスタルサウザーは、将星ベバレジCEOの聖帝サウザーが住む聖帝十字陵のふもとから採れる涌き水を使ったミネラルウオーター。サウザーの師・オウガイのエキスも添加されており「飲むと強くなれる」と評判だったが、発売直後から
「犠牲になった人々の血や汗のにおいがする」
と複数の消費者から通報が相次ぎ、調べた厚労省が事実を確認したため、今回注意に踏み切った。
しかし、将星ベバレジ側は
「弊社の品質管理は万全。汚物は消毒だー！ しているので清潔」
と主張。あくまで「退かぬ！ 媚びぬ！ 省みぬ！」と、製品回収を拒否し、厚労省との対決姿勢を打ち出している
聖帝十字陵で記者会見に臨んだ聖帝サウザーは
「南斗鳳凰拳は王者の経営学。帝王に逃走はないのだ！」
と、クリスタルサウザーの安全性をアピールするいっぽう、報道陣の厳しい追及に「お師さん…」と思わず涙ぐむ一面も見せていた。
たいした働きをしない厚生労働相の桝添某氏を辞めさせて、北斗神拳正統伝承者ケンシロウ氏を厚労大臣にしてみたら問題は即解決するのではないか？
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
馬なんとかっつうなめえのケツメドヤロはよ、間違えなく聖水って書き込むべな！
住所：ペンギン村
異臭には三十代特有の匂いも含まれていたに違いないぜ！
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
たしか、「クリスタルサウザー」に関しては、何かが、通常とは左右逆とか言う話も無かったか？
ひょっとしたら、「ミネラルウオーター」と称しつつ、実は、主成分が水の光学異性体やもしれぬ。
苦情です。
最近、聖帝サウザーの会社に転職してきた社員が「おいお前、俺の名を言ってみろ」と消費者に失礼な応対をしてきて困っています。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞「犠牲になった人々の血や汗のにおいがする」
ひょっとして、ラベルに「惨殺！」とか「一族郎党根絶やし！」とか書いてあったから水の結晶がおかしくなったのではないか？と江本勝先生ならのたまうのだろうな。
住所：江戸城
職業：征夷大将軍
“殺せ！ 皆殺しにしろ！ 楽になど死なすな！ 悶えに悶え、苦しみに苦しんで死ぬようにせよ”
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
私の記憶が確かならば、かの聖帝も「北斗有料情報破」による高額請求詐欺に倒されたらしい。「かんぜんむりょう」は詐欺の代名詞。心に刻むべし。
ところで、野菜に「さうざーどれっしんぐ」もなかなかいけるようだ。
住所：名古屋県
職業：荒らし
消費者の抗議に対して、
「ん～、なんのことかな～、フフフフフ」
というアミバネタをやっても、ロー○ィストくらいにしかわかりゃしない。
世も末って感じですね。
世紀末にはあと92年あるはずなのに。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>「おいお前、俺の名を言ってみろ」
ライバル企業の社員と勘違いしてはいないか？
え～っと、何だって、北斗の拳に、キリシタン殉教が絡むんでつか？二代将軍。
銭に飽かせた飴と脅迫の鞭でマスコミを手玉に取った奥田容疑者より、聖帝サウザーの方が他愛ない様です…。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
最近、超時空新聞ぼーがすにおける超時空流言…ごほっ、超時空琉拳に私は翻弄されている。特に、次の投稿がないと表示されない現象は、むしろ「ざ・わーるど」の仕業ではないかと思われるぐらいだ。
ペットボトルは完全な密閉でなく微細な気泡があるそうなので、取水前やボトル詰め製造段階の異物混入でなく、輸送中や貯蔵時のニオイ移りの可能性も考えられる。
防虫剤ならぬ、トヨタ期間工やＩＴ土方と共に保管された事実があるのではないか。
徹底した真相究明が望まれる。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
>なめえ
ねいちんをぺろぺろするんはだいすきだ如。
あずまことば、鳥の鳴き声みたいでよくわからん如。
>ケンシロウ氏を厚労大臣に
間違って、演説中に水をかける人を登用してしまうと、問題が悪化しそうで危険です。
彼も「自省ゼロ」という点だけはサウザー氏と共通してますので、正に水掛け論に。
住所：江戸城
職業：征夷大将軍
お父様、僕の男色の相手の美少年も数人連れてきてね、うふ(はぁと)
ええっ、そんな事を言って、天草四郎も美少年だったのに…。
＞サウザーの師・オウガイのエキスも添加
抽出方法を知りたいです…、てか、原因では？異臭の。
住所：靖国神社
職業：日本会議シンパ
＞サウザーの師・オウガイのエキスも添加
陸兵諸君、そんなものを飲んでも脚気の予防にはならんぞ！
住所：江戸城
職業：征夷大将軍
＞天草四郎も美少年だったのに
ボクだって四郎君を生け捕りにしたかったさ。でも、家来がボクの言うことも聞かずに四郎君を殺しちゃったんだもん、えーん、えーん…
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