アップリカに続きまたしても危険なベビーカーの存在が発覚…。経済産業省は9日、致命的な欠陥を抱えた製品を販売していたとして、製造販売元に回収を指示した。この欠陥ではすでに死亡事故も起きているにもかかわらず長らく事実が隠蔽されてきたとのことで、人命を軽視するメーカーの姿勢があらためて浮き彫りになったかっこうだ。
リコール対象となったのはオガミコーポレーション（本社：江戸）が製造・販売する乳母車。調べによると、同社の乳母車には
- 前面に斉発連射銃が仕込まれている
- タイヤに長刀が隠されている
- 搭乗者を守る盾モード搭載
など数々の欠陥があり、非常に危険だという。被害者も多く、この乳母車のせいで少なく見積もっても数千人の死者が出ているとのこと（リメイク版含む）。
これほどの被害を出しながら今まで表ざたにならなかった背景には、オガミコーポレーションの拝一刀社長が裏世界に太いパイプをもっており、真実を暴露しようとする者を次々と暗殺してきたことがあると見られる。今回は市民活動家の柳生一族が一党に多くの犠牲者を出しつつ決死の通報に踏み切ったことで、ようやくリコールにこぎつけることができた。
オガミコーポレーション側は9日午前、都内で釈明の記者会見を開いたが、出席した副社長の拝大五郎氏は
「ちゃん！」
と叫ぶばかりで、まったく反省しているようすがなかった。また、一刀社長には「子を貸し腕貸しつかまつる」と幼児人身売買をにおわせるのぼりを背負いながら諸国漫遊していたというモンスターペアレントの疑いもある。今回の一件に留まらず、同社が抱える深い闇に鋭くメスを入れていく必要がありそうだ。
住所：シベリア
職業：プロ左翼市民
ん～このベビーカーに乗った子供が何故か反社会的行為をしたくなる大人に成長するっていうのが最大の欠陥だと思います。
オガミコーポレーションに対する敵対的買収をおこなっていた、ヤギュウコーポレーションも、この問題に関与しているかもしれません。
住所：高木農園
職業：公儀介錯猫
わ！本当に最近はお昼に更新するんですニャ、某瓦斯。それはさておき・・・。
拝大五郎副社長が会社更生法を申請し、一時は持ち直したかに見えた新体制のオガミコーポレーションも結局また頓挫。また再起を図ることにニャってたんですニャ。
どうりで最近美保先生がコンビニにお買い物に行っても見つからないと嘆いてたわけですニャ。
http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E3%81%9D%E3%81%97%E3%81%A6_%E2%88%92_%E5%AD%90%E9%80%A3%E3%82%8C%E7%8B%BC_%E5%88%BA%E5%AE%A2%E3%81%AE%E5%AD%90
ひゃあ大五郎副社長、齢五歳にして前科持ち！
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
>子を貸し腕貸しつかまつる
そんなんよりわしの真ん中の足といふかにくぼうをねいちんに貸しつかまつるにょ。
> 少なく見積もっても数千人の死者が出ている
よく見てみると、違う話に同じ役者が切られ役で何度も出ているため、被害は案外少ないかもしれません。殺されたはずの役者が、撮影終了後むっくりと起き上がったとの目撃例もあり、過剰宣伝の為のヤラセとの噂もあります。
住所：シベリア
職業：社畜
各地における拝社長の熱心な売り込み行為により、防衛省はこの乳母車の大量採用を決定したそうです。
さらに、オガミコーポレーションの研究所には、人工知能を搭載し、搭乗員が操縦しなくても敵と判断した対象に対し自動的に攻撃を始めるという、より恐ろしい新型製品の試作品がある、という情報もあります。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
二足歩行で空も飛べて、そんなん開発せんと・・・
う～ん○ンダム。
住所：世田谷の某寺
職業：婆専猫狩猫
＞大五郎副社長、齢五歳にして前科持ち！
大五郎役者も含める、となると、なんかシャレじゃニャい事があったりするからな…
住所：名古屋県
職業：荒らし
某研ぎ屋のかんざしや、某三味線屋の三味線糸のように週１人の割合で暗殺を重ねてきた事例もあります。
「ヒッサツコーポレーション」にも捜査のメスが入らねばなりません。
> 殺されたはずの役者が、撮影終了後むっくりと起き上がった
ナンキン・メソッド の一種だね。
乗っている子供は安全なんだから、欠陥とはいえないのでは？
交通事故で死人が出たって、車に欠陥、ではあるまい。
むしろ、そのベビーカーに殺されたほうの不注意を指摘しなければならない。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>ナンキン・メソッド の一種だね。
小官の偉業を否定する気か？
さては、貴様、国民党の工作員だな。
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
おっさん、おっさん。
このネタわかるのは相当な年以上だと思うぞ。
住所：おうち
職業：魔法使い
bogusnewsはおっさんの社交場です。
住所：シベリア
職業：社畜
＞二足歩行で空も飛べて
人工知能を搭載した新型は四足歩行でレーザー砲塔を装備しているそうですが、オガミコーポレーションの研究所に侵入した日系フランス人をリーダーとする三人組の窃盗団によって自爆させられたという情報も…
っておっさんネタで自爆だ～！
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
> 人工知能搭載の乳母車
それは「じんくす」という欠陥品ではないだろうか。そういう色気のないもので美少女の代用品とすることは、まったくもってけしからん。
住所：蓬莱島
職業：団長
フハハハハ！拝一刀。愛する息子一人守れないとは、哀れだな。
お前が手を組む相手は、私しかない。その乳母車さえあれば、柳生。いや、ブリタニアも殲滅できる。
どうする、拝一刀？ハンマーチャンス！
住所：靖国神社
職業：櫻井よしこ
＞bogusnewsはおっさんの社交場です。
私のような妙齢の生娘でも大変に楽しんでおります。主幹様の高い学識にとどまることなき愛を感じずにいられません。
職業：毒薬使い
ぶるぶるぶる。
わしには、拝一刀のようなむごい真似はできん。
川に毒を流したり、江戸を水没させる位が精々じゃ。
＞ハンマーチャンス！
おかしい…おっさんネタすぎる…。
やはりゼロはルルーシュではないのか…。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
おっさんネタをついでに。初老の紳士が操縦する巨大凧を製造しているアカカゲコーポエーションは、だいじょーぶなのだろうか？
>アカカゲコーポエーションは、だいじょーぶなのだろうか？
白影こと牧冬吉氏がお亡くなりになったので、廃業中です。
それにしても、主幹は明日も昼に瓦版を発行するつもりなんだろうか？
主幹～ん、つらいことがあったのなら、全て吐露して楽になって下さい。
住所：名古屋県
職業：ヤングな童貞
馬殿
>わしの真ん中の足
>う～ん○ンダム
加藤
「おい、両足の間に何か付いてるぞ」
馬占山
「えっ・・・！？（股間をシコシコ）」
加藤
「う～ん、マンダム」
おっさん達がこんなに生き生きとしているのを見るのは久しぶりだ…
>加藤氏
>「おい、両足の間に何か付いてるぞ」
あんなものは飾りです。エロい人にはそれがわからんのです。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
ガンダムは３０年の歴史がある宗教の一種でありまする。
加齢臭がするぜ…。
妙齢の女性ジャーナリスト様
えー「サバ読みは中年の始まり」と諺にありますが…
＞おかしい…おっさんネタすぎる…。
＞やはりゼロはルルーシュではないのか…。
Ｃ.Ｃ.は不老不死の魔女なので、世代格差を超越しているのです！
住所：銀河系
職業：IT士方
いまだに誰もつっこンどらンようだから一応やっとくか。
> 「ちゃん！」と叫ぶばかり
「ちゃん！」ではなく「ちゃン！」と叫ばねばほンものとは呼べぬ。
小池一夫先生を馬鹿にするな！
直感だけど。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>いまだに誰もつっこンどらンようだから一応やっとくか。
「子連れ狼」連載当時は、まだ、そンな事は、やっていなかったと記憶しているが。
そう言えばこんな話がありました。
あるところにオガミコーポレーションの乳母車工場に勤めている貧乏な男がいた。
子供が出来たのだが、不況で乳母車を買えない。
困った男は工場から乳母車の部品を少しずつ持ち出した。
部品は家の納屋に隠していき、全ての部品がそろうと
男は人目につかないよう、夜納屋にこもって部品を組立はじめた。
部品の中になぜか斉発連射銃や長刀が混じっていたのは言うまでもない。
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