今月から道路交通法の改正に伴い、高齢者が自家用車の運転をする際に「もみじマーク」の掲示が義務付けられた。しかし一部には法改正の周知が徹底しておらず、混乱のスキを衝いて高齢者を騙し、暴行を加えたり金を巻き上げたりする詐欺行為が多発。社会問題化しつつある。
都内世田谷区に住む北沢源一郎さん（75）も詐欺に遭ったひとり。今月に入ってから車に乗って出かけようとするたび、孫のたかし容疑者（11）に
「おじいちゃん、今月からクルマの運転にはもみじマークが必要だよ！ 背中を出して！」
と呼び止められ、背中にもみじが浮かび上がるほどの殴打を受けている。かわいい孫に逆らえない弱い立場につけこんでの、卑劣で巧妙な詐欺だ。
また、たかし容疑者は「痛いし急いでいるからカンベンしてくれ」と懇願する北沢さんに
「じゃあ、罰金1万円ね」
と金を巻き上げることもあった。犯行で得たお金は「モンスターハンターポータブル2nd G」購入などに充てたと見られる。
こうした詐欺行為の多発について、おかあさんは
「お義父さん、あれほど甘やかさないでくださいって言ったじゃないですか。いいかげんにしてくださいよ。PSPだって没収してたのに」
と、警戒を呼びかけている。
住所：ねはん
職業：櫻井よしこ
PSPの奪われたたかしくんはきっと余ったお金でダガーナイフを買い、深い深い地下の闇に自ら飲まれてゆくであろう…ひゃっひゃっひゃ。そして金と銀の鍵を拾い…更に深い地下の闇へと突き進むであろう… 導きの印は青いリボン…忘れるでないぞ…
昨日の読者欄の投稿に「北沢たかしくん」の登場はないのか？と、誰かが書かれていたが、早速登場とは、この記事は、昨日の投稿からヒントを得たと見える。ネタに困っているのか？
住所：二次元
職業：童貞
ヒッヒッヒ
しかしもみじ狩りから一転して、モンスター狩りにするとは、なかなか奥が深い。
きゃー，たかしくん！
さらなるご活躍を期待しています！！
>もみじマーク義務化
ありえないことですが、パトライト義務化があったら少しいいなと思います。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
素直に「枯葉」と言えばよいものを。御上に全財産差し出すことが美しき日本人の伝統である。疑いを持ってはならぬ。
ところで、たかし容疑者は「もんすたーはんと」をすると見せかけて「がーるはんと」に手を出す可能性がある。悪しき習慣に染まる前に、男の良さをげふんげふん…。
フハハハハ！違うぞ、たかしくん。お前は間違っている！
たかしくんのおじいちゃんは、かつての満州では便衣兵の首を百人斬り、731部隊で多数の中国の「丸太」を実験体にし、フィリピンでは多数の米国人IT土方にデスマーチで処分した英雄じゃないか。
敗戦後も、GHQに取り入って物資を横流して私服を肥やしつつ、反共主義を掲げて右翼団体を影から支え、労働運動を暴力的に粉砕するという、素晴らしい功績を残した日本の英雄じゃないか。
たかしくん。そんな誇らしい功績をもつ日本人を侮辱すると、東中野センセイに訴えられるぞ！猛省を促したい。
住所：海外(択捉島)
職業：グラップラー
まあ、たかし君ったら！11才なのにいろいろ世の中のことを知っててえらい子ねって感心してたのに、おじいさんからお金を巻き上げるなんて、お仕置きが必要ね。
たかし君は色々な事を知っているつもりかもしれないけれど、これから大人になるためには他にもっと勉強しなければいけないことがたくさんあるの。おねえさんが1から10まで優しくていねいに教えてあげるから、今度うちに泊まりにいらっしゃい。
おじいさんも今後は１万円じゃ済まなくなるかもしれませんね♪
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
通り魔などの突発的犯罪のハイリスクグループとして３０歳以上の童貞に対し、チェリーマークの掲示義務付けが審議されている模様。
特に、アルファブロガーと、アルファコメンターはチェリーマークの掲示義務が25歳と厳しくなるそうだ。
住所：銀河系
職業：IT士方
> パトライト義務化
データセンターのオペレータ室には設置が義務づけられているが？
住所：高木農園
職業：見舞猫
ガ～ガ～
番組の途中ですが、東北地方の大揺れで、お困りになりながらも、ｹｰﾀｲなどでｺｿｰﾘ某瓦斯をチェックしてしばし楽しまれてる方々にお見舞い申し上げますニャ。
ほんのひとときとはいえ、この変態某瓦斯新聞でｸｽっと笑っていただけるよう、変態編集主幹もこれから数日間、いつもりおよそ30％ﾊﾞｶ度増量で頑張るはずですニャ。
水道は一週間ほど、電気は三日ほどで復旧するはずですから、しばしの間ご辛抱を。え！？ｹｰﾀｲの充電？町のｹｰﾀｲショップが充電サービスやったり、コンビニチェーンが緊急特売みたいなことしてるかもしれませんので、安全が確認できて少し余裕ができたら、行って見るといいかもしれませんニャ。
なお電気の復旧のときに火災がおこらないように、コンセント周りをあらかじめ確認しておきましょうニャ。
それでは引き続き某瓦斯変態読者投稿と次の記事をお楽しみください。
ガ～ガ～
住所：世田谷の某寺
職業：変態読者兼婆専猫狩猫
＞引き続き某瓦斯変態読者投稿
君もか？ニャツ烈君？
とうとう婆専の変態猫だと認めたかニャ。
ニャツ烈な愛読者君は今日から婆専変態猫と呼んでも良きことになったニャ。
みにゃさんもどうぞ。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
通り魔と３０歳以上の童貞とは何の関係も無いぞ。
チェリーマーク義務化に絶対反対！！
住所：地下闘技場
職業：グラップラー
衝撃！祖父に暴行し金を奪う鬼孫
というようにワイドショーで放送されるわけですね。おどろおどろしいBGMと共に。
>ｹｰﾀｲの充電
チェリーマーク付きの人は自家発電で充電できるんでないかな。ちょっとネトネトしてくるけど。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
源一郎さんは、若かりし頃グーで顔面を殴られたことがあるのに・・・。
住所：靖国神社
職業：櫻井よしこ
６０過ぎ閉経処女はヒステリーを撒き散らして危険だから、ススキマークを付けるですって？
私は初々しい桜よ！いまも主幹様と春を楽しんでいるの！！
これは一見大損をしているように見せかけた、源一郎さんのパー買占め戦略と見た！
話は変わるが、右の話題の新刊･新製品の中に以下のものがある。前作がゲイでこんどはソドムとなっているが、ソドムってふつう男色のことでSMのことではないはず。
ハリー・ポッターと
マゾのプリンス J.K.ローリングゾク 前作でゲイの世界の倒錯を堪能したハリーが、こんどはソドムの世界に旅立つ超話題作。ボグワーツの館を、狂おしいまでの快楽にふける少年の叫びがかけめぐる… 静山社
モンスターハンターとは学校に無理難題を要求するモンスターペアレントどもを殺戮しまくるゲームで一部の教員に爆発的人気。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞チェリーマークの掲示義務付け
質問ですが、素人童貞の場合チェリーマークは必要でつか？
住所：不定
職業：工作員
おじいちゃんに年齢詐称の疑いアリ。たしか3Kだかでは6666歳だったような。
職業：メトロン星人
＞ソドムってふつう男色のことで
ソドムの罪を男色のこととするのは近年ではすでに謬見とされている。
聖書（旧か新かは忘れたが）の中で神の火に焼き尽くされ、それは悪徳とモラルを逸脱する行為をしたせいだ、とされる。
「ソドムの市」なるえいがは、変態映画として有名。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
たかしくんはおじいちゃんにひどいことをしたから、そのむくいで、将来ねいちんに「ゆるくなったのはボキのせい？」と行為の後聞いて思いっきり背中をたたかれてもみじマークをつけられるにょ。
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