進化の歴史上、人類と中川秀直幹事長が枝分かれしたのはおよそ1200万年前か─。エチオピア中部で新たに見つかった化石からこんな新説が浮上した。これまで「分岐は現代に近い時期に起きた」とされてきた中川幹事長の歴史に、大幅な書き換えが迫られることになりそうだ。
この説をとなえているのは、諏訪元・東京大総合研究博物館教授（古人類学）ら日本とエチオピアの研究チーム。昨年から今年にかけてエチオピア中部の約1000万年前の地層からゴリラの化石を発掘。詳しく調べた結果、このゴリラに
- 意味不明な失言が多い
- かこっている愛人に捜査情報を漏らす
- 不透明なカネのやりとりをする
などの特徴があったことから「中川幹事長の祖先にあたる類人猿」だと結論づけた。
これをもとに諏訪教授らがヒトと中川幹事長らの進化について枝分かれの時期を再検討したところ、
「ヒトと中川幹事長・森喜朗元首相らが共通の祖先から枝分かれしたのは、およそ1200万年前」
との結果が出た。従来、枝分かれ時期は中川幹事長の政治的偏向度合いから「太平洋戦争中か、古くても戦前」と見られていただけに、進化史の定説をくつがえす発見となった。同チームは23日付の英科学誌「ネイチャー」に研究をまとめた論文を発表する。
この件についてコメントを求められた中川幹事長は、ちょうど発情期だったもようで「ウホッ、ウホッ」と胸を激しく叩き鳴らしながら、うれしそうに求愛行動をしてメスにアピールしていた。
この研究には基本のところで重大な誤認がある。
外見的特徴に惑わされず研究すれば、意味もなく忠誠心を要求するなどの生態からして、中川氏は犬に近い生物であるのが明らか。
やはりブルドックの遺伝形質に近いと言われる首相と群れを形成している点もそれを傍証する。
ちなみにブルドックは「空気の変化に対処できない」という特性から航空輸送に制限が課せられたが、この点やはり首相と共通する特性が明らかとなったのは興味深い
住所：名古屋県
職業：自室警備員
さくらパパも同類に分類されるとの説が浮上している。
それを決定付ける「失言」がまだのようだが、見つかるのも時間の問題だと思われる。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
そもそも現在の日本国民はヒトであろうか? 62年前のあの日、総玉砕によって日本帝国の国民は神となった。それから100年もしないというのに1億人以上の人口があるというのは不自然だ。
ある人に対して「イヌ」と評することがある。これはそもそも進化した犬を指す言葉である。また、名古屋人は言わずとしれた進化した猫である。また、歴代の首相には進化した鶏(カザミドリ)もいた。
日本人が外国人に対して拒否反応を示すのは、「よその国」だからではなく、「ヒト」であることに気がつかなければならない。
すばらしい研究成果だ。これをもとに人類とジョージの分岐が明らかになることを期待している。
住所：地下闘技場
職業：虎眼流師範
ってゆーか彼等が脊椎動物だと初めて知った。
むしろミドリムシに近い単細胞かと・・・あ、bogusnews的にはミドリムシのほうが高等とされてるんだ。
ミドリムシに謝ろう＞俺
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
>ウホッ
♂にアピールする時の鳴き声ではなかったんかい？
エン交は許されない、ということですな。
中川秀直幹事長?
そんな生物いたっけ？
そう言えば、つい先日終わった妄想カルト小説『美しい国』にはそういう珍獣が出てきたような･････。
もう忘れちゃったな。ブックオフで売っぱらっちゃったし。
住所：ヒューストン市
職業：宗教右派
> ジョージの分岐
オー、天皇中心の神の国日本では未だに進化論が信じられているのデスか？？野蛮な。
人類は神が作り給うたに決まっており分岐もズッキーニもない。天地神明に誓ってない。ナカガワ官房長官（当時）が愛人に捜査情報を漏らしたり中絶同意書に「中川一郎」と記名したことがないのと同じくらい、ないと言ったらない。
住所：シベリア
職業：プロ左翼市民
中川・森とヤマタクの求愛行動である飲尿との関わりはどうなっておるのですか？
論文として情報量が少なすぎます。
住所：三陸海岸を徘徊中
職業：潮目研究家
潮目は来た。私が言った「潮目が変わった」は変わっていないのである。
これで参院選勝利は間違いなし…フヒ、フヒヒﾋﾋｲﾋ
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：童貞
♪1000万年と200万年前から わ・か・れ・てる～
＊僧侶バージョンで。
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