アメリカ航空宇宙局（NASA）は17日、宇宙飛行士の若田光一さん（47）を2013年末からの国際宇宙ステーション（ISS）船長に任命した。船長就任は日本人宇宙飛行士としてははじめて。NASAスポークスマンは同日、若田さんに自沈用キングストン弁の鍵を渡す任命式をおこない
「いざというときはこれで虜囚の辱めを受けるべからず」
と訓示を述べた。
若田さんが船長に任命されたのは、4回にわたる宇宙飛行経験の豊富さと「サムライ」精神が理由とされている。とりわけ仲間うちでは
「コーイチは腹を割って話せるヤツだ」
と、切腹の覚悟への評価が高い。
「これなら敵に負けたときも潔く船底のキングストン弁を開き注水して、艦を自沈させることができるだろう」というのが、NASA関係者の一致した評価だ。若田さんも任命式では「靖国で会おう！」とノリのよい返答をしてみせていた。
若田さんのミッションは以後「天一号作戦」と呼称。NASAは起死回生を賭けた一戦として総力をあげて取り組む方針だ。
住所：靖国神社
職業：虐殺業
>若田さんに自沈用キングストン弁の鍵を渡す任命式をおこない
なぁに、万が一、生きて戻っても、振武寮に監禁するので、問題ない。
うそだ、だまされないぞ。
宇宙ステーションを沈めると言うことは、コロニー落としをすると言うことだ。
ぜひ、若田さんには北の方の領土や、南の方の領土を脅かす脅威への抑止力となってもらいたい。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
ところで、戦う敵はどこ？銀河帝国？ガミラス軍？白色彗星帝国軍？それとも、宇宙帝国ザンギャック？
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
> 「靖国で会おう!」
「ぼくと契約して英霊になってよ」
↓
半人半牛神社で地縛霊。成仏や転生は不許可
ただし神社近くには女子校が多いため、満足する霊も多いときく。
住所：サウスカロライナ
題名：近頃なぜかキングストン
宗主国様においては適度に従属国の国民の機嫌をとれて、失敗しても自国民の犠牲を出さず責任も押し付けられるという一粒で何度でもおいしい名案ですねわかります。
でも無重力下の切腹というのは見てみたいなあ。三○由紀夫が喜ぶだろうなあ（オイ
>戦う敵
もちりん冥王星艦隊ですっ！
奴らは兄と妹、親と娘、祖母と孫同士でいかがわしくも触手を絡ませ自由自在に交配する卑しい種族。当然虜囚は一切とらず捕獲されたら最後、全身の九穴に触手をねじ込まれくっさい粘液をどくどくどくどくとﾎｯﾎﾎﾎﾎﾎ★さあ主幹も冥王星人になりましょうね（にゅるにゅる）
住所：ねはん
職業：工作員
数億の敵を相手に冥王星沖でキングス弁を抜いて自沈。その後1万2千年后まで人々に迷惑をかけ続けるブラックホールになるわけですねわかります。
> ただし神社近くには女子校が多いため、満足する霊も多いときく。
まさに娘どうしの愛を象徴する花の名を冠した女子校があるので長閣下も大変ご満悦なのでありますね！！
もっともグッチ裕三＆モト冬樹やら椿姫彩菜やら先帝陛下に「親の心子知らず」と罵られてしまったまさにその神社の神主やらを輩出してしまった変な男子校も近くにあるようですが・・・
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
やすくんに神社に公式参拝だNYO！
EKIBENするNYO！
キングストンをベルトに付けると、若田RXやロボ若田、バイオ若田になるので心配することはあるまい。
なるほど。かつては満足な脱出装置すらシャトルに備えていなかったほどの潔さで知られるNASA、まさに適任でつね。
いっそ「シャトルは今年限り」という予定を覆そうとたくらむ一部の売国勢力もろとも、打ち上げ基地の粉砕をお願いしたいところであります。
最近ではそういった勇気ある行為はイスラム勢力の十八番となってしまった感もあるので、氏にはぜひとも本来の「玉砕」のあり方を世に示してほし・・・あ。こらなにをするくぁｗせｄｒｆｔｇｙふじこｌｐ；
(･∀･)しゃとるﾔﾒﾃ何使ｳﾝﾀﾞﾛ？
住所：不定
職業：工作員
みえないてきとたたかっているんですねわかります
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
恐ろしいことに、と恥事が
「俺は 君のために 宇宙に 死ににいく」
というタイトルのトンデモ映画を作る可能性がありそうだ。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞ぼくと契約して英霊になってよ
失礼ながら、「仮面ライダー英霊」という電王のパクリものを想像してしまいました。
住所：四次元
若田さんの任命に、「こうのとりやあまてらすの成功で日本の宇宙開発に信頼がもたれたことも要因。」とかテレビで言ってたが
「あかつき」どないしたん。と思い
探ってみると
ttp://www.stp.isas.jaxa.jp/venus/
モンゴルマテリアルが浮かんですいません。
日本の和の心を大切にされるそうなので、船長に反抗した暁には純日本的な村八分の処遇でもてなしてくださるであろう。
と云うとキャプテンウルトラや小林稔侍をアゴで使えるですか？
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住所：ねはん
職業：工作員
日本人船長就任にあわせて
ISSもこの味気ない船名を変える頃合かもしれん。
「コバヤシ丸」とかどうか。
住所：不定
職業：便衣兵
どうやら順調に更新していないようですね。これも主幹氏が、なんちゃらスイートとかいうのを観て英気を養うために必要なことなのでしょう。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
生きて還って来ないミッションというわけですね・・・
やっぱ革命するしかないね。
住所：ねはん
職業：工作員
外宇宙から飛んできた謎の飛翔体を確認に行ったら、突然なにか思い出した女子高生部下が半狂乱になって減速予定時刻に12秒遅れた…とかじゃないですかね。
無重力でもekibenするgyo！
「さよならジュピター」だgyo！
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住所：ヤクーツク
職業：めがねっ娘
キングストン弁の鍵を渡す任命式をおこない
住所：ヤクーツク
職業：めがねっ娘
トンデモ映画を作る可能性がありそうだ。
住所：ヤクーツク
職業：めがねっ娘
キングストン弁の鍵を渡す任命式をおこない
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住所：東京都
職業：便衣兵
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