15日に全国の会場で大学入試センター試験が一斉に始まったが、受験した男子学生のおよそ6割が受験資格を満たさず失格となったことがわかった。今年から資格審査が厳格に運用されるようになったことが影響したと見られ、各方面で論議を呼びそうだ。
都内文京区にある某大学。試験会場のひとつとなったこちらでも、けさ早朝から受験者を厳しくチェックする試験官らの姿が見られた。男子の股間をしっかと握り
「センターじゃないな。失格！」
「なんでこんな右寄りなんだ！ 失格」
と仕分けをしていく──。
もともとセンター試験は、大学全入時代に備えて「より清廉な人物を育成する」目的で計画されたもの。とりわけイチモツのポジションについては清廉さのバロメータとして最重要視され、「センター」という試験の名称にもなっている。
今次試験からは「ルールを厳格に適用すべき」との声を受け会場での触診実施となったが、長い受験勉強の影響で右曲がりとなる男子が想定より多く6割もの失格者を出す事態となった。さらにポジションに問題がなくとも女性試験官に股間触られたせいで興奮してしまい、試験が手につかなかったという受験者も続出しており、来年以降の運用に課題を残したかっこうだ。
住所：靖国神社
職業：侵略業
>主幹大好きっ娘（15歳） さん
>bogusnewsを読んでいると「わたしも早くおとなになりたいなぁ…」って思っちゃいます。(略)
この娘も、3年後の1月には、右曲りでないかチェックされるのか??
住所：寒い夜には寝ないで歩きます（死なないため）
疑問：主幹は左手派なのか？
>より清廉な人物
「より清潔な人物」だったら日本人の七割が失格だと何度言ったら（以下略
….でもマジな話するとこれからは右寄りじゃなきゃ大学も公務員も採用されないって時代になりそうな気もするなー。
女子の場合は右付き左付（以下東京都教委の指導により削除）
住所：コミケ会場（晴海）
職業：80年代アニメ愛好家
>「通りがかりの伊達直人」…バス事故で乗客の受験生を送り届け
漫画版『タイガーマスク』の最終話を想起すれば、「ほっとする」どころかきわめて不吉なニュースと言えよう。
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
前橋市荒牧町の某大学じゃ女性試験官がみんなして笑い出すしよ、水戸市文京の某大学じゃ汚ぇからって誰も触んねっつうしよ、宇都宮市峰町さある某大学じゃ女ァみんな卒倒したつう話だっぺ！
ネット上で頻繁に観測される、
「右寄り度合いな人になるほど、中道だ中立だ不偏不党だの自称したがる」
という怪現象には、こういう事情があったのですね、成る程。
[ネタ][USO]
センター試験、男子学生の6割が失格─ポジション右寄りで : bogusnews
都条レイおねー様の命令で、主幹を右側にぐいぃとひん曲げに来たわ。うふふ。
ほーら見て見てこのスプーン。ｱﾀｼのフィンガーテクニック（と念力）に耐えきれず、身をよじるようにｸﾞﾈｸﾞﾈと右曲がりのダンディーに。ｻｱお出し今お出し。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
自分自身を基準にするため、自己申告では常に中道となるであろう。それはさておき。
> 興奮してしまい、試験が手につかなかった
中途半端はいけない。積極的に触らせることで、明鏡止水の境地に達し、賢者もーど(はいぱーもーど)へと進化すべきなのだ。
某与党は民主中道がスローガンで、今の首相に特に真ん中だと公言してるんだが、「センター」な人間が愛国心をもって、日本を任せられる人材になるとは思えん。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞これからは右寄りじゃなきゃ大学も公務員も採用されないって時代になりそうな気もするなー。
大学はともかく、企業はすでに左巻きとヲタには厳しいですぞ。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
>「通りがかりの伊達直人」…バス事故で乗客の受験生を送り届け
もし「通りすがりの仮面ライダー」だったら、時空を越えてヘンな世界に連れていかれた挙句、よくわからん結末を迎えそうで・・。
住所：ねはん
職業：工作員
左遊間がら空きですか。
関係ないが、昔あった変形ライターなロボットアニメでの、敵の将軍たちの名前が、まだ、意味も十分にわかってなかったくせにつぼにはまって一週間ばかり笑い転げていたことがあったな…
主幹がもし今年受験したら法経学部には合格するわね。
住所：ねはん
職業：工作員
それはそうと、これでは
試験官のポジションが基準になってしまうのでは？
幾らでも恣意的な運用が可能っぽいあたりに日本の未来が透けて見えますね！
センター試験くらいであわててどうする。
昔は共通いちじく試験という奴で、それはもう（違
(・∀・)受験生ﾊｺﾝﾅﾄｺ覗ｲﾃﾅｲﾃﾞ、赤本ﾔﾚ
くっ…これは…っ！
※欄紳士達のｷｬｯｷｬｳﾌﾌが更新されてない…まさか（スパムの妖精さん含め）みんなリアル受験生だった…のっ!?
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
右寄りであろうが左寄りであろうが、EKIBENは寧鎮の亜素湖を腰で支えるので心配無用だNYO！
ぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱんぱん
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞うよ子姉さん
知っている限り、包茎学部ちゃうちゃう法経学部があるのは千葉大学くらいですかなぁ・・・。我らのつボイノリオ先生の母校愛知大学にも、かつては法経学部があったものの、今では法学部、経済学部、経営学部に分離されましたからなぁ・・・。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
ところで、ポジショントークというのは、そういうことについて語る、あるいはブログに書いたりツイッターでつぶやくということですかな？（絶対違う
目標をセンターに入れてスイッチ
住所：ウガンダ共和国
職業：調理師
＞フリティンスキーさん
フィニッシュするのが紙のcomponentの上なのか、生体のobjectの中なのかが分かれるポジショントークなのでしょう。
主幹はきっとobject志向ではなくて、逆張り志向なんですよ、
> 歴史の小便 さん
それを言うなら上付き下付（自粛しろ
住所：ねはん
職業：工作員
フリティンスキー さん:
うっかりスルーするところであったが、
＞企業はすでに左巻きとヲタには厳しいですぞ。
それは実は全ての人に厳しいというわけですね。わかります。
…就職氷河期だなぁ。
住所：靖国神社
職業：櫻井よしこ
主幹は徴兵検査を受けたことがおありでは？
住所：不定
職業：工作員
かつてF1がCXを中心に大ブームだった頃。
F-1アナ「ポールポジションを取りましたねぇ」
ケーシー高峰「彼のポールポジションはちょっと左曲がりですねぇ」
というやりとりがあったとか無かったとか（をぃ
住所：不定
職業：工作員
…さふいへばKOは来年度から右でも左でも上でも下でも関係なしに自主性のあるナニを求めるため当該試験から離脱するそうな（ぇ
住所：皇居
職業：グラップラー
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まあ、おいらみたいに両手を使えば曲がることなどないのだがな。
短い君たちでは両手を使うという発想ができないからしょうがないか。
はっはっは。
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
よく考えてみると、「ぽじしょん」といえば「しょーと」か「ろんぐ」ではなかろうか。
長さ的な意味で。
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
→よく考えてみると、ぽじしょんといえば
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
続き書かねえうち送っちまった、すまね、やりなおすっぺ！
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
→よく考えてみると、ぽじしょんといえば 四十八手じゃなかっぺか？
どっかの馬○は一個か知んねみてぇだけんど！
更新停止は良いが、必ず下ネタがトップの時なのは、わざとだろうか。
失格の６割諸君ｷｦﾂｹｪｪｴｴ！ぴしっ（←鞭の音）
これより勿体なくもかたじけなくも都知事閣下こと都条レイおねー様のお慈悲により、敗者復活戦を執り行うっ！
はい、障子用意しますた。ｻｱまんまん中を突き破るよろし、１mmでもずれたら失格、即座にちょん斬って塩漬けにするわよ。合格かっ!?断種かっ!?ｸｷｪｰ（←やばい雄叫び）
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
→!?ｸｷｪｰ（←やばい雄叫び）
それを言うなら雌叫びだっぺ！
住所：おうち
職業：工作員
＞必ず下ネタがトップの時なのは、わざとだろうか。
そもそもここには、愛国ブログさんがツンデレに狂うような記事以外、下ネタしかないのではなかったか。
住所：皇居
職業：グラップラー
http://blog.qlep.com/blog.php/wanglihua/426303?categ=1&year=2011&month=1
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http://puccaa.dokyun.jp/archive/l-995114.html
http://blog.3016.jp/user/puccaa/puccaa/
住所：四次元
>長い受験勉強の影響で右曲がりとなる男子
夏休みも冬休みもヤフコメで1日つぶすような反射神経を鍛える練習でもしたのだろうか。
住所：皇居
職業：グラップラー
http://blog.qlep.com/blog.php/wanglihua/426303?categ=1&year=2011&month=1
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