とある赤坂見附駅前に、ひとりの赤プリが営業しておりました。赤プリはバブル期にはブイブイ言わせていたのですが、最近の不況とデフレですっかり寂れてしまいました。家の前には「美川憲一ディナーショー」などと立札も立てましたが、人間は「そんなディナーショーで大丈夫か？」と疑って誰一人遊びに来ません。
そこへ親友の東横インが訪ねてきました。赤プリの話を聞くと、東横インはモーニングサービスのおにぎりを握りながらこう言いました。
「そろそろクリスマスもちかい。クリスマスツリーのライトアップを大々的におこなえばお客さんが大挙して押し寄せてきて、来年に閉館する必要もなくなるよ、あかくん」
それはいいアイデアだ、と赤プリは思いました。
11月4日になると赤プリは、クリスマスなんてまだ1か月以上も先だというのに壁面にイルミネーションでクリスマスツリーを浮かび上がらせました。これで人間たちがたくさんやってくるはず──そう思い浮かれている赤プリの周りに、おかしな風体の男たちがうじゃうじゃと集まってきました。
男たちは叫びます。
「“クリスマスにはホテルで男女がデート”という悪しき観念を植え付けた、リア充の権化め！」
「赤プリ爆発しろ！」
赤プリは「こまったしゃあ、こまったしゃあ…」と泣きながら逃げていきました。東横インはクリスマス・年末年始もリーズナブルな価格でお泊りいただけます。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
よく判らんが、キュアルージュの何が悪いのだ？
こういう記事を見ると、もう年末かと思いますな。
うじゃうじゃと集まってきたおかしな風体の男たちは、待機していた岡崎少子化相の手下に一網打尽にされました、これで日本の童貞率と、少子化の良化が改善されたそうです。
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
丁度、その頃赤坂見附駅の反対側にキャピキャピになったもう一人のお友達が帰って来ました
いつも東横インと関係あると疑われて迷惑していたので、むかしズートルビの山田君が座布団運びをしてたのを売り物にしようと座布団の柄の壁を作りました
でも山田君がいたのは実は蛭豚さんという外人のお家だったんです おしまい
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
１１月の声を聞くと目立つもの、年賀状、クリスマスケーキ、新年度のカレンダーや手帳、おせち料理の販売告知、お歳暮の案内、そして某瓦斯主幹のイケメン・モテリア充へのワラ人形たたきとクリスマス終了ネタ。
おかしな風体の皆さん、赤色プリ「Angel girl」ディナーショーへようこそ。リーダーの日本鬼子です。徹頭徹尾リアルに背を向けた仮想現実のひとときをお楽しみ下さい（ｷﾗｯ★）
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
ところで、東横インといえば、自社の会員カードのノルマ達成のために無理くり自腹を切らされたりするなど、問題大アリなようですな。
http://www.asahi.com/national/update/1018/TKY201010180423.html
♂的には、大人向けウフフなビデオがないそうなので、お嘆きのオトーさん方も多いのでは？
同じようなとこなら、スーパーホテル、ルートイン、ドーミーイン、コンフォートインなんかのほうがよかったりして。
住所：靖国神社
職業：二千万特攻の司令官
>「こまったしゃあ、こまったしゃあ…」
ウチの元従業員が書いた別の作品が混ざっておるような……。
住所：コロニー
職業：彗星関係
>こまったしゃあ、こまったしゃあ…
ああ！
…..赤プリ、サンタ…
主幹の二重三重の仕掛けに感嘆しますた（ホントかよ
早い、早いよ、主幹！
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
>早い、早いよ、主幹！
三分間だNYO！
EKIBENしたかったら10分は我慢汁だNYO！
主幹は昨日、よし子先生を連れて割引券でアパホテルに行って乳腺を刺激したんでしょ。
クリスマスまでとっておけば良かったのにねぇ
♪
コモエスタ セニョール
コモエスタ セニョリータ
ひきこもって みたいのよ
赤坂の夜
液晶の中の俺の嫁に 逢えるような
そんな気がして ならないの
それが赤坂 赤坂 ディー エス ア～イ
続きまして傘と赤坂をテーマに
♪
ひとつの傘で 坂道を
いくども一人 歩いたね
消えてしまった データだから
スタイラスで さがすのさ
赤坂 赤坂 今年もひとり
(･∀･)哀ｼｽｸﾞﾙ
住所：満洲
職業：参謀
赤プリめ、これまでオサレなシチーホテルのふりをしておったが、所詮は「アカ」。ニッポソ転覆を企む邪悪な革命家どもの巣窟に違いない
それが証拠にクリスマスイブなどという邪教の記念日には、やる気まんまんの若い戦士たちの予約で満室だったというではないか
各個室では、想像するだにおぞましい戦いが繰り広げられていたはず
「さあ今こそ僕のテーゼとキミのアンチテーゼをアウフヘーブングするんだ！」
「ああん、すごぉい。こんな弁証法初めてぇ！」
くっ、悪魔に魂を売り渡したエロリストどもめ～
「赤プリ爆破しろぉ！」
おしゃれイルミネーションよりも
「赤プリであかすり」
にすべきだったのでしょうか。
住所：不定
職業：工作員
ああ年末の風物詩、様式美ですなぁ。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
わてくしの前のコメントですが、コンフォートインよりはコンフォートホテルのほうが正解ですな。
それはさておき、赤プリは今年が最後のクリスマスですが、実際のところクリスマスのカップルは、他の高級ホテルに移ったか、地元のラブホかカノジョの部屋あたりで済ませるかの二極化なんでしょうなぁ・・・。
あ、お節介ながらクリスマスにいちゃつくバカップルは、ケンペーくんこと南部十四郎大尉に真っ二つにされますぞ。
タイトルの「け」を飛ばして読んだので、焼肉で欲情する女優が赤プリでコーマンやりほーだい、と思った。
参謀殿
その芸風でエ〇小説を一本お書きになられては如何でしょう？
或いは“トンデモ本大賞”を穫れるかも知れません。
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
↑アッパホテルのクリスマス招待券も貰えっかしんねぞ（美人社長付き）
住所：靖国神社
職業：日本会議シンパ
東京の都市伝説がまた増えました。キモイお兄さんたちの呪いで倒産したホテル。まじで怖い。
住所：不定
職業：工作員
「“クリスマスにはホテルで男女がデート”という悪しき観念を植え付けた、リア充の権化め！」
住所：靖国神社
職業：二千万特攻の司令官
どうでもいいがスパム業者は、ここでE D治療薬や精力剤の宣伝をしても無駄だということにいつになったら気づくのだろうか？
どうせならモテる薬を売り込めばいい。主幹が真っ先に買うだろう。
おかしいですね、「ぼくのかんがえたあくのそしきにっきょうそ」に敵対するプリンス系は、国士さまの熱烈支持する愛国企業だったはずですが。
(いや、落ちぶれたご皇族の資産を買い叩いて成り上がったとか、そんな瑣末事を気にする愛国者はﾈｯﾄ上にいませんよ！)
国士層とまる被りする非モテ層は、むしろ積極的に利用するべき、脳内彼女とＸｍａｓディナー(料金きっちり二人分。二次彼女の料理はちゃんと二次という行き届いた配慮)とかそういう。
住所：おうち
職業：工作員
とりあえずアカいとはケシカランですな。
隣のアカい国とか元・アカい国とかがが調子ずいてる今、国内引き締めが必要だろう。
レッドパージだ！
手始めに国旗の真ん中のアカい染みをディスろう！ とりあえず他の色に塗ればよいな。白とかに！ 弱腰政府にはぴったりだ！
そして次は、国民の体に流れるアカい血をディスる。
…難しそうだが、ペットや高齢者の排泄物のニオイを消す餌もあるという。そんな先進のバイオケミカルでどうにかならんか。例えば血液を脱色するサプリとか！
そして最後に政治家の体に流れる血…
…
…は、最初から赤くなんかないから放置しても大丈夫だな。
さすがだ！
俺なんかは「ひろすけえほん」を「ひろす けえほん」と読んだぞ。
この調子では俺も民主党政権と同様に、何事も成せずに消えていく運命にあるようだ。
なんてことはない。
主幹が惚れてしまった東横インのホテルウーマンに頼まれて書いた提灯記事ということだ。
主幹「俺の記事で東横インが儲かっただろ」
ホテルウーマン「すてき！抱いて！」
となることを夢見ているようだが、利用されていることに早く気づけよ。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
ところで、主幹のクリスマスイブ＆クリスマスは、アパホテルであの社長と熱い一夜を過ごすことで決まりのようですな。
http://sinnnoaikokuhosyu.seesaa.net/article/168166474.html
「やったね、主幹！」と喜ぶべきか、魔法使い、妖精、仙人、そしてネ申と主幹にはピュアな童貞道を貫いてほしいと願うべきか・・・。
東横イン「深夜は1－2人で全館を管理させます。半畳の閉所に８日間拘束される「内観研修」つきです！」
田母神ホテル「真の近現代史観」懸賞論文もよろしく！」
ホテルニュージャパン「部屋で燃えても、建物は燃やすなよ！」
住所：銀河系
職業：ニート
> そんな先進のバイオケミカルでどうにかならんか。例えば血液を脱色するサプリとか！
先進のバイオケミカルもサプリも不要だろjk。酸素と結合させなければヘモグロビンは無色透明なままなんだから。
……え、それじゃ死んじゃうって？だったら赤血球中のヘモグロビンの鉄原子を銅原子に置換すればいいんじゃないかな。酸素と結合すると青く発色するヘモシアニンという物質になるんだけど、海老はこれで呼吸をやってるので、人間が不可能ということもないでしょー。
住所：おうち
職業：工作員
そう。そもそも鉄が酸素と反応してアカくなるのもケシカランわけでして。
しかし、自動車や船、ハイテク製品などで、日本経済は鉄に依存している。必要不可欠な物質だと言える。
ということで酸素をディスれば良いのではないか。
え？ それだとみんな死んじゃう？
いやぁ、安い人件費で働く労働者を求めて海外に進出し、国内の労働者を干し殺す経済界なので、人命の優先順位はそれより十分に低いと考えられる。
>あぐりこら さん
….イカ娘（違
住所：おうち
職業：工作員
そういえば、i国者に属する皆様の中は旧同盟国ナチスドイツにシンパシーを抱いておられる方もいるようだが、ナチスは国家社会主義でつまり「アカ」かったということは、ちゃんと把握していての事なんだろうな？
…ところで宇宙戦艦ヤマト冒頭の赤くなってる地球はガミラス帝国（ナチ）によって赤化なう、という暗喩なんだよね？
住所：不定
職業：工作員
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職業：工作員
クリスマスにはホテルで男女がデート”という悪しき観念を植え付けた、リア充の権化め！」
住所：不定
職業：工作員
そろそろクリスマスもちかい。クリスマスツリーのライトアップを大々的におこなえばお客さんが大挙して押し寄せてきて、来年に閉館する必要もなくなるよ、あかくん
住所：地下闘技場
職業：日本会議シンパ
体力がアップしたいの？
http://zhongsheng5.ybl.jp/blog.php?id=618224
住所：ヤクーツク
職業：KGB
ワセリンとアトピー性皮膚炎の関係
http://zhongsheng5.ybl.jp/blog.php?id=614399
住所：名古屋県
職業：童貞
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