風都でガイアメモリを販売する最大手組織「ミュージアム」の幹部が、実は重度の「ラブプラス」ファンだったという疑惑が持ち上がった。しかも、使用キャラはビッチ騒動でおなじみ姉ヶ崎寧々らしいというから見過ごせない。「幹部がラブプラス紳士だなんて…」と風都のガイアメモリユーザーのあいだでは、組織への失望が広がっている。
寧々派疑惑がもちあがったのは、ミュージアム幹部の井坂深紅郎医師。調べによると同医師は恋仲である園咲冴子とデートをしている最中、キスをする際に傘を横にさして見えないようにしたとのこと。しかも、終わったあとには「少し濡れてしまいましたよ。はっはっはっ」と捨て台詞を吐いたという。これは姉ヶ崎寧々が実践している「傘の本当の使い方」であり、明らかに同氏が寧々派である証拠だという。
噂を聞き付けたミュージアム製ガイアメモリのユーザーからは
「あんな中古女のファンがいる会社のメモリは使えない」
と抗議が殺到。これに対しミュージアムの園咲琉兵衛氏は「事実関係を確認中なのでなにも話せない」とするいっぽう、「娘婿に恵まれないとは思っていたがここまでとは…」と愚痴る姿を見せた。
問題の井坂医師については、ラブプラスのヘビープレーヤーで元寧々派の風都署刑事・照井竜から「（中古女にたぶらかされていた過去をふくめ）すべて振り切るぜ」と叫んで制裁を加えられたためすでに死亡している。真実は闇に葬られることとなったが、ビッチの寧々を支持する変態がこれ以上出ないよう、風都のラブプラスプレーヤーは相互監視の目を厳しくする必要がありそうだ。
姉ヶ崎寧々派で、ラブプラスのヘビーユーザーといえば、完全に主幹のことじゃ・・・あれは、無かったことですね。了解しました。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
雨が酷いけどEKIBENする如。
BITCH BITCH
JAP JAP
RUN RUN RUN♪
だ如。
もういろんなもん混ぜすぎでわけわからんがな
(･∀･)重症ﾀﾞﾅ
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>あんな中古女のファンがいる会社のメモリは使えない
これだから、童貞は……
ねぇねぇ、関係ないこと聞いていい ?
なんで、ガンプラがあるのにカメプラってないの ?
誰か知ってる人、教えて。
住所：四次元
再掲「傘の本当の使い方」
背後に立ち、傘の取っ手の「J」字を相手の股下から通し、股間に引っ掛けるようにして一気に後方に引き抜く。
住所：イタリア
職業：「蝶々夫人」作者（わけのわからない人は「新潮オペラシリーズの永竹由幸のケッサク解説を読もう！）
中古の良さがわからないなんて….中古こそ最高！中古命！だって下手に新品あてがわれてもやりかたわかんないし（オイ
愛国先生がネタの使いまわししたからって主幹までマネすることないじゃないですか。
米蘭の常連さんまで影響されてるし…
新作 期待してます。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
そんな主幹に、新しい恋愛シミュレーションソフト
「ラブプラス ジミン」
（小池）百合子、（稲田）朋美、（丸川）珠代の３人のうちから、一人を選んでレッツプレイ＆メイクラブ！
※なお、当初は３人娘の一人は（高市）早苗の予定だったが、「ルーピー！」や「愚か者めが！」によって、急遽珠代に変更された模様
(・∀・)様の仰る通りではございますが、此処は敢えて主幹様には｢退かぬ！媚びぬ！省みぬ！｣の“三ぬ”のお志で駆け抜けていただきとう御座います。(あ…また変なの混ぜちゃった…)
住所：靖国神社
職業：二千万特攻の司令官
>ビッチの寧々を支持する変態がこれ以上出ないよう、風都のラブプラスプレーヤーは相互監視の目を厳しくする必要がありそうだ。
翻訳すると「寧々は俺だけの嫁。お前らは手を出すな」ということだな。
そろそろ新作携帯ガンプラがネタになるかと思ったのに、主幹さまのツンデレ癖は…。
ｏｒｚ
同志フリティンスキー…
優里ちゃんは入って無いんですか？
……じゃあ…珠ちゃんでお願いします…。
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
ワッチァよく知んねっけど姉ヶ崎っつう女はビッチなんけ？
つう事は姉の方からせにゃならぬっつう事でそん次に妹もやれるんけ？
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
「9.8秒、それがお前の『しょうてん』までのたいむだ」
(しゅかんさんは)はやくないよ!
住所：皇居
職業：ネット右翼
> 「ラブプラス ジミン」
> （小池）百合子、（稲田）朋美、（丸川）珠代の３人
いや…これはむしろ
「ラブプラス 仏陀再誕」
では！！
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞いや…これはむしろ
「ラブプラス 仏陀再誕」
では！！
もしそうなっても、幸福が実現できるかどうかは、保障できませんが・・・。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>姉ヶ崎寧々派で、ラブプラスのヘビーユーザーといえば、完全に主幹のことじゃ
ついでに言えば、主幹と井坂医師では、「変態」と言う点でも、共通しているな。
ひょっとして、主幹の正体は……
住所：おうち
職業：工作員
だから、傘など存在しなかったとあれほど…！
＞いや…これはむしろ
「ラブプラス 仏陀再誕」
では！！
もしそうなっても、幸福が実現できるかどうかは、保障できませんが・・・。
＞いや…これはむしろ
「ラブプラス 仏陀再誕」
では！！
もしそうなっても、幸福が実現できるかどうかは、保障できませんが・・・。＞いや…これはむしろ
「ラブプラス 仏陀再誕」
では！！
もしそうなっても、幸福が実現できるかどうかは、保障できませんが・・・。
近刊 「日向の安平の霊言」に
馬大人への言及があるとかないとか
でも本当は『ラブプラスみんす』を作って貰って、フクエリと傘の正しい使い方がしたいなぁ…。
住所：不定
職業：工作員
そろそろ主幹が究極の処女厨に目覚めかねませんので、各方面の方々確保願います（違います
住所:革命的巴里
職業:山岳派
一方姉ヶ崎氏は、散々DS越しにタッチペンでいじくり回したり、息を吹きかけたり、キスをしてきたキモオタどもが中古呼ばわりしてきたことに対し、「本来の自分の生き方を見つける良い機会。これからは自由にさせてもらう。」と話した。今後はハーレク○ンかケータイ小説に活躍の場を移す予定だそうだ。
直接的な被害を被りつづけたNintendoDSシリーズの面々は「お話しすることは何もありません。」とだけ答えた。
>井坂深紅郎
紅真九郎にはペド疑惑があるのですが。
ウェブ検索をかける。
”核の傘の本当の使い方教えてあげる”既出。
”姉ヶ崎の退き口”既出。
おのれの独創性の無さに深くヘコむ。
あなたのポストは非常によく。私はそれを愛する
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