米国で実用化が進みつつある「拍動しない高耐久型の人工心臓」について、埋め込み手術を受けた患者に重篤な副作用の出ていることが4日までにわかった。脈なし型人工心臓は心臓病患者の社会復帰に大きく役立つものと期待されていただけに、医学界には大きな衝撃が走っている。
米ニューヨーク州在住の女性患者キャサリーンさん（仮名・29）も、脈なし人工心臓を埋め込まれて副作用の出たひとり。調べによると昨年冬に人工心臓取り付けに成功して退院したキャサリーンさんは、以前から勤めていたマンハッタンの証券会社にみごと復職を果たしたが、しばらくして周囲の男性から異常を指摘する声が出はじめた。
「デートに誘っても、まったく応じてくれなくなった」
というのだ。
手術前には、キャサリーンさんは「声をかければけっこうヤラせてくれるブロンド娘」として社内で定評があったが、術後はどんなにカネのあるイケメンがモーションをかけてもまったくなびかなくなり、これまで延べ2千人以上の男性をそでにしてきたという。男性陣は、
「それでオレはキャサリーンにこう言ってやったのさ。
“おまえ、本当に脈がなくなっちまったんだな”
てな。Ha-Ha-Ha…！」
と人工心臓の副作用である可能性を指摘する。
同様のケースは全米各地で「プロムパーティ前に決死の覚悟で告白した相手の脈がなかった」「田舎の橋のうえで告白した熟女の脈がなかった」など多数報告されており、深刻な状況となっている。さらに、脈なし人工心臓はいつの間にか日本国内でも認可承認を受け手術がおこなわれていたようで、
「三十過ぎて必死でアタックを繰り返しているのに、周りの女性がみんな脈なしだ」
といった証言もある。放置すればますます童貞が増えかねない事態だ。このような危険な副作用をもつ人工心臓を認可した厚生労働省には、猛省をうながすとともにすみやかな調査が望まれそうだ。
主幹さま… 某瓦斯新聞が政界の恐怖新聞として不動の地位を固めつつあると断言します。
次は誰なんですか…
>田舎の橋のうえで告白した熟女の脈がなかった
主幹、実体験をネタに嘘はいかんな。
>主幹、実体験をネタに嘘はいかんな。
主幹の実体験は、こっちだ。
>「三十過ぎて必死でアタックを繰り返しているのに、周りの女性がみんな脈なしだ」
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
>田舎の橋のうえで告白した熟女の脈がなかった
〉主幹、実体験をネタに嘘はいかんな。
二重橋の上なら良かっぺ！
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞三十過ぎて必死でアタックを繰り返しているのに、周りの女性がみんな脈なしだ
そもそも、相手が二次元やラブドールやフィギュアなら、脈はないですが・・・。
えっ、それは関係ないですって？そいつは失礼！
住所：皇居
職業：ネット右翼
脈ありとか脈なしとかオッサン丸出しで恥ずかしいので勘弁してください
て、言うか…
近頃流行りのヴァンパイアだから、脈が無いのでは？
鏡に映らないとか、日中の晴れた屋外ではサングラスとか、ワインなど飲み物しか飲まないとか。
食費も助かるし、何でも、モテるんだそうですよ？
住所：ねはん
職業：プロ右翼市民
「脈がない」と言う話であれば、中川某の話かと思いましが…
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
> 近頃流行りのヴァンパイア
つんでれ殿と付き合えるようになったり、小学生女子の胸をもんだり、すぱっつ後輩女子につきまとわれたり、いいことづくめではないか。
しかし、出会ったとたんに惨殺は勘弁である。
改造手術（脳改造含む）の果てに冷酷無比の殺人平気ちゃうちゃう兵器に調教された美少女が、
「くっ…！馬鹿な何故主幹ごときに引き金を引けない…まさかこの感情はっ!?」
とか萌えませんかｱﾀｼはもうあの、しゅしゅしゅ主幹を殺してｱﾀｼも死ぬですだって命令電波が（←入り込み中）
住所：靖国神社
先日まで与党だった人たちは必死で現与党の敵失を捜しているようですが、それで国民が自民に振り向くかと言えば･･･。
その党自体の魅力が何もない以上「脈なし」としか。
既に全国民が装備済みなんじゃないですかコレ。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
ハートを人工物に置き換えられる時代になったのですね・・
厚労省には歴史や科学を正しく認識できる人工頭脳を早く認可して欲しいものです。
住所：不定
職業：工作員
ええー今時のナウなヤングはそういう時「フラグが勃つ」と言う筈ですぞ。
「首相、今日の某瓦斯新聞の記事はお読みになりましたか？ご感想を」
「友愛だね」
住所：ねはん
職業：童貞
なんだかアフィの「トーマの心臓」（なんで森博嗣ごときがノベライズしてんだよ）と「ポーの一族」を合わせたような記事ですな。
しかし萩尾さんも何を考えて「トーマ」なんて名前採用したかなあ…「とーま」という名前の人はほぼ例外なく子供のころ「とんま、とんま」と呼ばれてトラウマっているんじゃないかと思うがどうか。それがいつの間にかなんとなくかっこ良い雰囲気をまといやがって（イルカの息子や冬馬由美のころから？）、教師にさえ「とんま天狗」とののしられて泣いていた男の子のことをおれは忘れないぞ。
そういえば羽賀研二の本名も「トーマ（当真）」だったなあ（あ、今回も単なる思い出話でネタになってない）。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
早く移植しないとネトウヨの脳が腐りきってしまうので・・
女子厨学二年生V3 26の秘密の結納技
火柱キック – 体に内蔵された小型原子炉で下半身を赤熱させて…
もう… 無理です…orz
既出。
http://slashdot.jp/comments.pl?sid=469393&threshold=-1&commentsort=0&mode=thread&pid=1647635#1647648
そうか主幹、今度はキャシーにふられ・・・
キャシー？ま・ま・まさか
キャシー中島？？？
（･∀･）昔ﾊｿｺｿｺ綺麗ﾀﾞｯﾀﾐﾀｲﾀﾞｹﾄﾞﾈ～
>クライマーさん
ちっちっち残念、内蔵じゃないわ内臓よ。電動フグ搭載の。
ロボットだからマシンだから（ﾀﾞﾀﾞｯﾀﾞｰ）冷たいけれど、人肌程度にぬくとめて。びゅーん★
住所：海外(北海道)
職業：プロ左翼市民
主幹、まあこれでも見て、自分を慰めなよ。
http://www.amazon.co.jp/40%E6%AD%B3%E3%81%AE%E7%AB%A5%E8%B2%9E%E7%94%B7-DVD-%E3%82%B8%E3%83%A3%E3%83%89%E3%83%BB%E3%82%A2%E3%83%91%E3%83%88%E3%83%BC/dp/B000GTLQPS
え、もうＤＶＤが擦り切れるほど見てるって？そりゃシツレイ。
どうていは
おかねをはらえば
すてれるよ
住所：銀河系
職業：メトロン星人
>早く移植しないとネトウヨの脳が腐りきってしまうので・・
いや、もとから腐ってるからw
＞鯨虐殺者 殿
「天空のトウマ」あたりが転機になったのではないか。
住所：ネットカフェ
職業：ネット右翼
日本丙 さん
> 既に全国民が装備済みなんじゃないですかコレ。
そうなのです。実に今の日本の問題はこれです。
そしてこのような無反応に等しい出力の問題点は、入力側が一体何が間違っているのか反応から読み取れず、正確にフィードバックできない点です。
某アスホール首相はそのせいで「ネガキャン路線はウケてる！」と勘違いし、壊滅的惨敗を喫したとも言われています。
そんなこんなで鳩山首相が、このような応答性に乏しい人工心臓のユーザーインターフェースの改善を訴え、「UI」と連呼しているのに、一部の国民が「友愛」と勘違いしているという恥ずかしい現状があります。
日本人はもっとITリテラシーを身につけるべきですね。
住所：靖国神社
職業：日本会議シンパ
そらあ、桜井のお姉さまは老衰でもうすぐ脈が、橋の上でなくなるべ、
>東條閣下
ひっどーい、よし子おばあさま心臓に毛が生える奇病で全摘出って聞いたわよぅ
なんか取り出したら、もっさりと変な髪型になるまで伸びてたって。ｷﾓｰｲ★
胸がドキドキしないんです。
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
あなたはすでに死んでますね。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
>丸出し
ヤル時はこ・か～んの１５２榴弾砲丸出しだ如。
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を見つけることができます。これらの宝物は、無料または改変の名目費用のために着用することができます。
ほとんどのブライダルサロンや小売業者は通常、カスタムで50％の保証金が http://www.vitabella.jp/karadoresu イブニングドレスと¬買い手はご用心を命じたが必要¬預金は、通常は払い戻し可能ではない。それは非常に何か問題や意見の相違の場合にいくつかの力を持っていただくためにクレジットカードで http://www.vitabella.jp/akusesari/beru ベールを購入することをお勧めします。
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