きょう2月3日は節分。この日は古くからの伝統として、縁起のよい方角を向いて丸かぶり寿司（恵方巻）を食べる習慣がある。この古きよき慣習までも“食の安全”が脅かされている。厚生労働省は3日、全国に出荷された丸かぶり寿司のほとんどすべてに
「不ケツな“尻”が混入してしまっている」
ことが判明したとして、消費者に注意を呼びかける声明を出した。
厚労省によれば、3日未明に都内コンビニで丸かぶり寿司を買った一般市民から
「中にピンク色の臀部が混入している」
との通報があったという。さっそく同省が調査をおこなったところ、現在店頭に並んでいる製品のほぼすべてに臀部が入っていることがわかった。食品に尻が混入する事件は過去に例がないという。しかも粉末状に細かく砕いて混入するという残虐非道ぶり。対象地域も関西を中心としてほぼ全国に広がっているため、狂信的カルト集団による大規模な組織的犯行と見る向きもある
食品にくわしい評論家の“トットちゃん”こと黒柳徹子さんは、
「臀部は海のものとも山のものともつかない危険な物質。わたしは幼少期に弁当に混入され、ひどいトラウマになった。長く危険性を訴えてきたが業界の圧力で窓際扱いされるなどひどいめにあった。国は今こそ臀部追放に動き出すべき」
と憤りを隠せないようすで、再発防止を強く訴えている。
いっぽう、広い世の中には臀部混入を喜ぶ尻フェチもおり、報道を知ってすぐさま丸かぶり寿司買い占めに走ったうえ
「このピンク色…元の尻の持ち主はかなりの美尻だったにちがいない…」
などとあらぬ妄想を巡らしながら、厚労省の警告を無視して臀部をなめまわすように丸かぶり寿司をパクつく者もいるという。危険なので、読者諸兄はこのような変態行為のマネをしないよう注意されたし。
党総裁や内閣総理大臣にass hole(アッソー)が混入し、下野確実と言われたり国政が立ち行かなくなっているといった事態に比べたらどうってことは･･･。
関係ないですが、いつになくおピンク色の濃い当記事、「主幹大好きっ娘」以外に「大好き主婦」とかのパターンも色々加えて欲しくなりました。
住所：ちたま
職業：アルファコメンター
それなら「主幹大好き妙齢ジャーナリスト」とか「主幹大好き妙齢キリスト教作家」とか「主幹大好き妙齢横審委員」とかたくさんありますね。
住所：ドイツ
職業：ジャーナリスト（自称）
毒ギェウザといい事故米といい、
日本の食品管理には、ア膳としてしまいます。
ドイツだったら、即刻責任者をガス室に・・・
しかし、この件をマスコミが
伝えないところをみると、
スポンーサや中国の顔色を
穿っているのでしょうね。
本当に腹が起つやら。
でも、主幹さまの大くてタクマシイ、
恵方巻なら、丸かぶりしてもいいかな、
なんて思いました。
皮かぶりでも、かまいませんよ！
住所：海外(北海道)
職業：烏賊
そうです、恵方巻きは大阪万博以後に誕生した、「日本の正しい、古くからの伝統」ですな。
妙齢の女性ジャーナリスト様以下のおっしゃることはすべて正しい真実ですぞ。日本の伝統ですぞ。疑ってはなりませぬぞ。
一部には、恵方巻きは江戸時代から、あるいは秀吉期、はてまた明示の船場、などの諸説がありますが、すべて真実ですぞ。日本の伝統ですぞ。
我が家では、粉吹き芋にバターまたはクリームをつけ、その上に烏賊の塩辛を載せて食べておりました。天皇誕生日と建国記念日とには、くさやの干物を食しておりました。
これは日本の古くからの、普遍的な伝統ですぞ。
住所：不定
職業：馬賊
５月のせっく○にねいちんを巻いて粽状にするんは禁止せんで欲しい如。
でんぶの原料もとと（魚）なので、トットちゃんが食べたら、共食い。
住所：靖国神社
職業：ボルシェビキ
警察庁は、臀部の混入ルートが解明されたと発表した。DNA鑑定の結果、この臀部はベニスの精肉商シャイロックが海運業アントーニオの臀部から切り取った肉１ポンドであることがわかり、事件は日本とイタリア間の国際犯罪という新たな展開を見せた。警察庁は肉の採取に大変高度な技術が用いられているとみて、ICPO（国際刑事警察機構）と共同して事件の全容究明にあたりたいとしている。
住所：ねはん
職業：便衣兵
父ちゃんの伝言だっぺ「太巻き丸かぶりなんつのは、キョートのドケチスケベヒヒオヤジが舞妓にやらして喜んだっつう卑猥でヤラシイ習慣だべ。とうとうケツまで入れちまったんけ？節分の豆さ無駄にしねぇシモツカレこそ、モッタイネエトレンドさ沿った美しい慣わしだっぺ。コンビ二さ話つけて来年こそ全国にシモツカレェ流行らせっぞ！」という事です
恵方巻、誤飲に関する話
節分の丸かぶり寿司に“尻”混入─厚労省「食べないよう」警告というニュースがbogusnenews(ボーガスニュース）さんで書かれていたが、一方で、こんなニュースが取りざたされていた。
蒟蒻ゼリーは喉の詰まらせる可能性があり販売を中止すべきだ、と、訴えていた消費者団体『新
住所：不定
職業：虎眼流師範
うちのは基本が胡瓜巻きなんで尻は入ってません。
ああ、でも尻が入ってた方が良いんですけどね。
>不ケツな“尻”
これは、駄洒落なのか？
“しもつかれ”のライバルですね…
＞「主幹大好き主婦」
恐らくソノ場合も実際には『妙齢の」と定冠詞が付き、年齢的な必然から「餃子も巻き寿司も手作りが一番」的な「しもつかれ推進主婦連」などと同様の意見となるのではなかろうか…。
中々世間は厳しいですね？
住所：匿名掲示板
職業：工作員
変態の大多数はいい人なので差別しないで下さい。
記事に関係ありませんが、アキバの献血が話題に。
http://headlines.yahoo.co.jp/hl?a=20090203-00000029-yom-soci
覚醒系がうつりそ…、ゲフンゲフン、いや風邪でも引きましたかな。
まあ兎に角、新しい伝統の誕生ではないでしょうか。
丸かぶり～丸かぶり～♪ぶっといのに歯を立て、ｶﾞﾌﾞｯとな！ザクッとな！根元からっ！ｷｼｬｱｰ！
でも…クリスマスや14日じゃあるまいし、恵方巻きのﾅﾆが主幹の癇に障ったのかしら？あたしの知らない内に、カップル向けの新たなるイベント日に昇格っ？
住所：地球
職業：かじってナンボの商売
>臀部混入を喜ぶ尻フェチ
ここまで、おしりかじり虫についてのコメントなし…
昨年のLifeHackを実践して、酷い目をみ遭ったと推測されます。
住所：鉄の棺桶
職業：戦車男
俺のケツをなめろ！
住所：靖国神社
職業：日本会議シンパ
へえ～。
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
オヤジギャク失礼。
住所：靖国神社
職業：めがねっ娘
>でも、主幹さまの大くてタクマシイ、
>恵方巻なら、丸かぶりしてもいいかな、
>なんて思いました。
これこそが、後の世に言う「平成の阿部定事件」の幕開けであった。
住所：ルビヤンカ
職業：KGB
＞元の尻の持ち主はかなりの美尻の持ち主だったにちがいない
秋山オシリーナとかならいいけど、「さくら臀部」という名前で、妙齢の女性ジャーナリストのものなら、主幹に譲りますがな。
＞このピンク色…元の尻の持ち主はかなりの美尻の持ち主だったにちがいない…
とちおとめ…のことなんでしょうか。それでしたら主幹さまも妄想しますね。
>シモツカレェ流行らせっぞ！
しもつカレーとはこれまた乙な郷土料理ですね。
口から出たのかアソーから出たのか微妙なところで（以下自粛）
住所：皇居
職業：自室警備員
主幹巻が丸かむりという一部報道があるが、これは[要出典]であり、早急な返品は控えていただきたいところだ。
さて、私は本来の意図をふまえ、「ろーるけーき」にかぶりつくとしよう。
住所：アレシタイ・ビーイング
職業：ガンダムマイスター
これより、丸かぶり寿司に強制介入する。
俺が…。俺たちが、節分だー！
お尻は脂肪が多過ぎるよ。
ええっ？！
乳房が最も脂肪オンリーだっつって、言った当人じゃ？
住所：アメリカのどこか
職業：元軍人かつ政治家
私は民主党のオバマ大統領に負けましたが、その我が共和党が負けた原因が日本の節分での信仰行事のために使われる食物に混入していた、と。共和党として、是非とも回収する責任を果たさなくてはなりませんですね。
日本国民の皆様、ごめんなさい。
あ、お尻ちゃん！『スシ』の中に勝手に入っているんじゃない！早くアメリカのダラスに帰りなさい！
住所：電車の廃車輌
職業：小学校を退学になった
>今こそ臀部追放
パンツをジャキジャキにやぶかなくても済むからですね。わかります
＞党総裁や内閣総理大臣に
＞ass hole(アッソー)が
＞混入し、
あ、この現象は、我がアメリカでは2001年あたりから8年間ほど続きまして、、大統領が替わった今年から、その混入した’Asshole’を一生懸命除去している次第でございます。
?婁笘?便伀?
倞????傘?????[]亜?樹??с????
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